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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Feb152019

Three Squelches To A Change Of Undies

I've had some time to think about it, guys, and I've finally decided:

I'm really NOT ready for some football, thanks.

 

I'll also pass on these:

Something something TOOT SWEET. Haha!

(Let's see, so that's 4 fartlets to a toot, two toots to a squelch, and three squelches to a change of undies, am I right?)

 

One of the best patch jobs I've seen in ages:

LIKE A NINJA. 

 

Ah, look! The Great Poo-Nugget Migration!

Really moving, isn't it?

 

We've had a bunch of late Valentine cakes come in, and I have to say, you wreckerators had a red-letter year! In fact, you could say...

Torn between disappointment and relief there's no nekkid Miley on there.

 

Man, it just never gets old.

 

"Drat, there's only room for one more letter, and I need to spell "YOU!"

[head tilt]
[Jeopardy theme playing]

"Guess I'll go with the Y, then."

 

Thanks to Angie T., Mindy M., Lisa R., Martina T., Rebecca C., Esmeralda O., & Stacey for making my week.

Note from john (the hubby of Jen): Commenter Mike says of cake #1: "Tom Brady was here!"

O.O

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I'm a Pats fan but that was brilliant. Bravo, Mike!

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

« Sunday Sweets Brings The Llama Drama | Main | Happy VD! »

Reader Comments (26)

Why does the first one say Rotisserie Chicken? It looks like a football jammed into a bundt cake? Or am I really just that tired?

February 15, 2019 | Unregistered Commenterchoose another name

Isn’t “I Lovey” the new futuristic movie starring Will Smith and Natalie Schafer?

February 15, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterTom

1) Tom Brady was here!
2) Something about these Key lime confections really stinks, but the person who wrote the sign thought it was a real gas.
3) This looks like what the handyman has been doing to fix some of our walls. Maybe he's been moonlighting on the side.
4) The ones on the side look fresher. (Watch where you step). The ones on top look like they've been around a while and are decomposing, soon to be fertilizer.
5) "And now my life has been shattered."
6) And the bakers still don't have any common sense to know what NOT to abbreviate.
7) Maybe these were made by Thurston Howell III's wife.

February 15, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMike

4 fartlets to a toot?? The great poo-nugget migration?
You have outdone yourself today Jen. I feel very unworthy.

February 15, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

I think that top one must have been a joke at a party. The container says it contained chicken.
I like your take on the I Love Y ones! What else could they have been thinking?

February 15, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

(with apologies to Vanilla Ice)

Alright wreck-fans, let's kick it.

Iced, iced VD.
Iced, iced VD.

Alright stop, collaborate and listen.
Icing's back with a brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Flow like three toots day and nightly.
Will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know
Turn off the lights, poo nuggets flow.

To the extreme, I throw the ball and it flattens
All of the cake, which I wrote on with mittens.
Peeps go rush to the checkouts, they ring
Cakes killing V Day like a wrecking ball thing.

Deadly when I write a dope 'scription
Anything more than "I love y" is an addition
Love it or leave it, you better gangwsy
To cover up old words, this wrecker gets paid.
If there's a problem, yo, I'll be here
Check out those fartlets, don't they look weird?

February 15, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterSomeone New (want a clue?)

What is that first one? A football in a pie crust with some charcoal thrown in for charm? ("Thrown" is my sports metaphor. I think things are thrown in sports.) Seriously, what is that? And why does it cost 9.99? Surely that's not rotisserie chicken any more than it is cake.

February 15, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterBetty Martin

I just want to point out that the football jammed into three quarters of a (possibly moldy) pie is labelled as a rotisserie chicken.

February 15, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterBorg

Um, I have always reckoned it ONE squelch to a change of undies. Eww.

February 15, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterChristopher

Headdesk.
Do they really allow these people to procreate?!

February 15, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterSue W.

I had a student who'd take an F on a true/false quiz rather than admit her cursive Ts were most definitely cursive Fs. So were her actual Fs. I even showed her lots of images of cursive F and T letters and she just threw a fit. I figure she's getting laughed at in college now if she has to hand-write anything.
Or...she's working in a bakery. Making Fartlets.

February 15, 2019 | Unregistered Commentermaroongrad

I do not believe the first one is a professional cake. It's in a container labeled rotisserie chicken.

February 15, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterLeAnna

The label on that football cake thing reads rotisserie chicken lol.

February 15, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie

I wish grocery stores would not advertise other products on baked goods. The chicken sticker is not the worst I've seen, trust me. At least chicken is food.

February 15, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterTXRed

The 1st pic, if you look REALLY hard farther down the label, it says "variety pudding cake tray."

You're welcome.

February 15, 2019 | Unregistered Commenterbeckster

OMG, "fartlets". Ha ha!
Christopher, I'm with you on the math.
Someone New, you've done it again.
Plus... Tom Brady, ha ha oof, I've had my ab workout. Thanks, guys, for keeping me in shape to enjoy all this CAAAAKE!

February 15, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterCarol S-B

Do the fartlets only come in key lime, or can you get them in another flavor, like banana cream?
So long as they're not chocolate mousse, I think we're good.

February 15, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterYet another Jen

No. 1 is for the deflate-gate party.

February 15, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Well if that chicken turned into a football I honestly am afraid to even walk into that bakery lol.

February 16, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I believe the rotisserie chicken label is a plug. The cake label is below it.

February 16, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterCynthia

That football wreck is so much wreck. Who cuts up different creme cakes and puts them in a container, throws a football pop-top on it and probably reused a rotisserie container? Or maybe just used any label??? Someones drunk in the bakery...

February 16, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterDez

The last ones look like arrows rather than “Y” to me... am I the only one? Not that it makes more sense... I guess you could point them at your sweetie? lol

February 16, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I agree, the last ones look like they have arrows. As in: you hand the cake to the person so the arrow points towards the recipient , say, "I love..." and shove it at them. Maybe????
The poo caravan has gas. Look at the bubbles in them.

February 17, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJuin

Why didn't they go with a "U"?

February 17, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterLaShawna

Topic: A football cake labeled "Rotisserie Chicken" is neither a football nor a cake nor a chicken. Discuss.

February 18, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterCoffee Lady

"Ray...For your information, the poo-nuggets migrated about a foot and a half."

February 19, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterNick

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