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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jan082019

I Am So, So Sorry: 6 C-Section Cakes People Actually Ate

I want you to know, minions, that this post is not my fault. *I* didn't make/order/condone ANY of these cakes, NO SIR.

But now LOOK what these bakers are making me do! LOOK.

(Made by Darcy at Brown Butter Bakery who has an awesome sense of humor)

:head tilt:

Well, actually, that's not TOO bad. I mean, EW, yes, but at least they kept the gore to a minimum.

 

In fact, this next one doesn't have ANY blood! Yay!

And hey, perky nipples! What mom-to-be doesn't want her friends eating perky lady nipples at her shower? Besides all of them?

 

I feel I should warn you, though, that this next one is definitely crossing a line:

Not ready. NOT READY.

 

Just tell yourself this is a creepy old man poking his head out of sheet, and you MIGHT only scream for, like, a second or two:

Brb, still screaming.

 

But you know what we haven't had enough of yet in this post? Doll parts and drippy red syrup.

STILL SCREAMING.

Ok, for realsies, folks, turn back now.

'Cuz you do NOT want to see this last one.

It's bad.

Real bad.

Why are you still scrolling?

Are you on a diet?

Out of birth control?

Do you ENJOY feeling queasy?

Well, ohh kaaaaay....

What's that? You want to ZOOM IN?

You sick, sick puppy, you.

SCREAMING FOREVER.

 

"Thanks" to Jenn M., Matt R., Carl G., Anony M., Heidi D., & Amber B. for making me question all of my life choices up to this point.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

And from my other blog, Epbot:

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Reader Comments (16)

Yetch. That's all. Just YETCH.

January 8, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

That was my own d--m fault. I was warned. You did your due diligence. I ignored your warning.

Hurk. Ew. Hurk.

WHY?

January 8, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

By comparison, this makes the Alien movies easy to take.

January 8, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMike

Whoa! This post — and the last example especially — confirms what my best gal friend always says: Women are waaaaaaaay grosser than men! And, she contends, it's because of everything surrounding childbirth.

January 8, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterReuben

Question: how does one verify that a cake is a c-section cake rather than a natural birth cake with an improperly placed and unlikely looking vagina? We've all seen wreckerators miss a mark worse than that.

January 8, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterBorg

*Screams in WTAF*

January 8, 2019 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Have you watched "Call the Midwife"? It's worth every cringe!

January 8, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne S.

EGAD!

You just can't unsee these! Beyond awful. However, the "old man" cake.... am I the only one who thinks he looks like Afred E. Newman? Definitely a candidate for a MAD Magazine cover... fer shure!

I have no children by choice and it never fails to amaze me how some women (not all, mind you) love to regale audiences (sometimes mixed, men-and-women, sometimes not) with their childbirth experience(s). I sit on the sidelines thinking "Ew", but smiling politely.

January 8, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

Oh well I never intended to sleep again ever. Or go to a baby shower lol.

January 9, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Why, just why?

January 9, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterAdam T.

If the first one was chucking the bird..... perfect. LOL

January 9, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterLori

Why? Why? I mean I can appreciate the C section support but still, no on wants to eat it. Dang, these are gross. and also funny.

January 9, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

What the hell is WRONG with people?!?

January 9, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

Let me guess - these cakes were all served at a Zero Population Growth convention?

January 9, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterRepubAnon

I would have asked for some pasties to cover the perky bits....
....wait...
I can hear them saying "How about tassles?"
....
Nevermind.

January 10, 2019 | Unregistered CommenterMedith

i have no words.

January 13, 2019 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

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