I Am So, So Sorry: 6 C-Section Cakes People Actually Ate
January 8, 2019 I want you to know, minions, that this post is not my fault. *I* didn't make/order/condone ANY of these cakes, NO SIR.
But now LOOK what these bakers are making me do! LOOK.
;)
(Made by Darcy at Brown Butter Bakery who has an awesome sense of humor)
:head tilt:
Well, actually, that's not TOO bad. I mean, EW, yes, but at least they kept the gore to a minimum.
In fact, this next one doesn't have ANY blood! Yay!
;)
And hey, perky nipples! What mom-to-be doesn't want her friends eating perky lady nipples at her shower? Besides all of them?
I feel I should warn you, though, that this next one is definitely crossing a line:
;)
Not ready. NOT READY.
Just tell yourself this is a creepy old man poking his head out of sheet, and you MIGHT only scream for, like, a second or two:
;)
Brb, still screaming.
But you know what we haven't had enough of yet in this post? Doll parts and drippy red syrup.
;)
STILL SCREAMING.
Ok, for realsies, folks, turn back now.
'Cuz you do NOT want to see this last one.
It's bad.
Real bad.
Why are you still scrolling?
Are you on a diet?
Out of birth control?
Do you ENJOY feeling queasy?
Well, ohh kaaaaay....
;)
What's that? You want to ZOOM IN?
You sick, sick puppy, you.
;)
SCREAMING FOREVER.
"Thanks" to Jenn M., Matt R., Carl G., Anony M., Heidi D., & Amber B. for making me question all of my life choices up to this point.
*****
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And from my other blog, Epbot:
Reader Comments (19)
Yetch. That's all. Just YETCH.
That was my own d--m fault. I was warned. You did your due diligence. I ignored your warning.
Hurk. Ew. Hurk.
WHY?
By comparison, this makes the Alien movies easy to take.
Whoa! This post — and the last example especially — confirms what my best gal friend always says: Women are waaaaaaaay grosser than men! And, she contends, it's because of everything surrounding childbirth.
Question: how does one verify that a cake is a c-section cake rather than a natural birth cake with an improperly placed and unlikely looking vagina? We've all seen wreckerators miss a mark worse than that.
*Screams in WTAF*
Have you watched "Call the Midwife"? It's worth every cringe!
EGAD!
You just can't unsee these! Beyond awful. However, the "old man" cake.... am I the only one who thinks he looks like Afred E. Newman? Definitely a candidate for a MAD Magazine cover... fer shure!
I have no children by choice and it never fails to amaze me how some women (not all, mind you) love to regale audiences (sometimes mixed, men-and-women, sometimes not) with their childbirth experience(s). I sit on the sidelines thinking "Ew", but smiling politely.
Oh well I never intended to sleep again ever. Or go to a baby shower lol.
Why, just why?
If the first one was chucking the bird..... perfect. LOL
Why? Why? I mean I can appreciate the C section support but still, no on wants to eat it. Dang, these are gross. and also funny.
What the hell is WRONG with people?!?
Let me guess - these cakes were all served at a Zero Population Growth convention?
I would have asked for some pasties to cover the perky bits....
....wait...
I can hear them saying "How about tassles?"
....
Nevermind.
i have no words.
How do people think these are ok! So... realistic....eeeeeeeeeeeeek
THAT LAST ONE, THO - WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT???????????????????????????
Sweet Lord.