Name That Wreck!
September 13, 2018 I think we can all agree that if your name is pronounced "Elizabeth" but spelled with three "I"s and a silent "Q", then you void your right to complain when a baker gets it wrong.
However, there are times when you think the baker might have stopped to question somewhere along the line:
;)
"Jackign?" Is that supposed to be Jacking? And if so, who names their child Jacking??
;)
Never mind.
I've seen "Bart" turned to "Brat," "Brian" turned to "Brain," and "Tink" turned to "Fink" - but nothing beats the nickname Chris just picked up:
;)
Words cannot express how much I hope they served this with water.
[That's right, Chris: you just got SUNDAY SCHOOLED.]
Of course, Doug's new moniker is slightly less complimentary:
;)
But I'm sure he rose to the occasion anyway.
I like to think this is a cake for the Riddler's quintuplets:
;)
But that's a questionable theory.
(In reality, they asked for the name to be written in Cyrillic.)
Look, bakers, I know there are lots of unusual spellings and strange name choices out there these days, but just remember:
If at first you don't succeed,
try it again in cursive directly underneath.
;)
See? Bob's your uncles!
Thanks to Rae Lynn, Lizz H., Tom H., Jill C., Joel H., & Stacey T. for leaving out all the silent Qs.
*****
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Reader Comments (14)
Even more sadly than if they actually ARE cake wrecks, some may not be the wreckerators' fault. I was once in a play with a Christopher who called himself Christ. Back then I was still a super fundamentalist Christian, so I was positively scandalized.
Growing up near Little Rock, one of the most popular morning drive-time DJs was Bob Roberts. Maybe the baker just forgot the S on that second cake?
So to sum up, parents will call their kids just about any dang thing, and if they don't, the kids do it for themselves. People are weird.
It would not surprise me if someone actually named their child "Felony". Anything goes these days.
If it weren't for a brain stem reflex, these people would forget how to breathe. :P
The "Christ" happens to me all the time. I've lost track of how many insurance cards and employee IDs had to be redone because they shortened my first name to "Christ". Why they can't program their systems to use "Chris" (y'know, the common nickname that's been in use for at least a hundred years) is beyond me.
Christ is a fairly popular Armenian name
Cake #1: That's the last name. First name: Car.
Cake #2: Melanie really hated family gatherings after she went to prison. Especially her baby shower.
Cake #4: Did Doug, uh, *play* with his cake?
Cake #Last: I'm less concerned about Robert Robert than those horrible streaks on the side. If you "fixed" the name problem, couldn't you "fix" the lines so they connected, at least?
(And you know the fix would look terrible, but at least they'd be solid lines!)
Props for the Monty Python audio sketch reference!
Re "Jackign," many people for whom English is not their first language, and many others with auditory processing issues, hear a final ING as EEN or EE. Hence, Jackie = Jacking ...
Robert looks like he got some kind of weird banana on his cake. I still can't figure out what the heck it is other than the shape of a banana. As for Felony... heck I wouldn't be shocked to hear someone named their kid this lol.
had a child here named Nuremoh ( homerun backwards) and a girl was named Dixie Doodle since she was born on the 4th of July. So Jackign was probably right . there was some very strange names anymore. What ever happened to Mary, Sue, John and Charlie?
RE: The Cyrillic name. It's possible that if this cake request was e-mailed and the bakery didn't have a font that could handle cyrillic that the instructions actually did print out ??????? instead of the name.
Nah, I'm giving the wreckerator too much credit. Wouldn't you call the customer and check?
Am I the only one who reads the B of Doug(h)'s cake as a G, just to make it even more insulting?
My son is a teacher and he has a student named D'Emonic Angel. I kid you not. Poor kid goes by Angel.
My husband's name is Doug, and my phone is constantly trying to autocorrect it to either Dog or Dough. Actually, autocorrect might explain a lot of these cakes.