Tell Me That's Not A Spinal Cord Made Of Icing Flowers
August 22, 2018 It's time again to plumb the depths of that most bizarre and inexplicable place:
The mind... OF A CAKE DECORATOR.
;)
Buckle up, it's going to be a wrecky ride.
I can't decide if these are supposed to be teeth, eyeballs, or mini-marshmallows:
;)
...but whatever they are, they are definitely bleeding out.
So...
Happy BiRtHDAY!
When you need to put on just enough fondant to call it a "fondant cake":
;)
Not since the great Target Cookie Mountain of last June has something made me squint at my monitor this hard:
;)
It looks like layers of canned whipped cream between sugar wafers? With Stay Puft knows what in the middle?
Allllllrighty then.
I left the label showing for all of you rushing out the door to go buy one. TRAITORS. Enjoy your soggy sugar wafers.
Look, there's no denying this next cake is lovely. The piping is exquisite, the writing is legible, and the pink fuzzy balls have never looked pinker or fuzzier:
;)
But... why? WHYYYYYY
"OK, so we need it to look like a spinal cord, set inside stretched open skin, only make it with flowers."
;)
"PERFECT."
[alien screeching and popping noises, followed by a loud hissing roar]
;)
"PERFECT."
And finally, I probably shouldn't include this next one, because something about it screams "homemade" to me:
;)
It could be the ripped-off doll's head. Or the store-bought candles. Or the actual screaming.
Anyway, if I ever make it to 113 or 114, please don't serve this.
I'll take the pink fuzzy balls instead.
Thanks to Jodee R., Joe V., Lisa W., Ann R., Rebekah R., Grace G., Kait C., & Missy D. for getting a head in the wreckage game.
*****
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Reader Comments (24)
…… uh… what's with the screaming baby-Trump head on the last one? Wasn't it unappetizing enough?
I so want a realistic tattoo of a spinal cord flower conga line on my back!!!
1) Well, it's yellow, but it doesn't look mellow.
2) I think I saw these in pond water, under a microscope once.
3) The circular part - is that the mirror that tells you who the fairest in the land is, or is it some sort of superhero insignia?
4) You don't remember your Lord of the Rings? This is the Towers of the Teeth.
5) This reminds me of things I see on forest floors, but they're usually brown and when you step on them, out come a cloud of spores.
6) Sort of reminds me of my garden where the worms have infested the flowers.
7) This one is easy. It's a manta ray with varicose veins that floated in one place too long and got covered with algae.
8) Can we say it's over now? She's singing.
*Incoherent screeching and babbling*
On #5, are those Hostess Sno-Balls??
#4 - Waferhenge?
And I think #7 is *supposed* to be a star. . .
the radiator in the background gives the last one away as homemade (I hope), if you can look past the screaming head...
Oh my gosh# While it looks...ummm...odd number 5 must have been made for someone who loves those Sno-Balls cakes (sooooo good..yummm).
The things on #2 actually remind me of individual transistors, with the three wires sticking out.
That baby doll head is the stuff nightmares are made of....!!
What is with the coffin flowers on the "fondant" cake? Left over from a wedding display?
I don’t want to tell you what I saw in #2.
Why does it not surprise me that Winn-Dixie would make such a mess?
I miss my HEB, I really do.
Hmm.... fascinating. I haven't seen that type of radiators in years!
Can they use them to make/bake wrecks?
=^-.-^=
I would guess that those are supposed to be balloons on the "cookie cake"
I KNEW that cabbage-oops-garbage patch kid looked familiar.....
=^-.-^=
@littlefoot - I was just wondering that myself...
Now I'm going to be over here snickering at the pink fuzzy balls.
(Confucius wrong: man (or should that be cake?) with four balls cannot walk.)
What we have here is a happy birthday cookie with multi-tailed sperm and a good use of the delightful pink snowball treat.
Teeth, eyeballs, or mini-marshmallows? Clearly they're supposed to be jellyfish!
The Winn-Dixie wafer wonder: Oh, thank goodness, I thought those were styrofoam peanuts between the wafers. Spray whipped cream didn't cross my mind. Either that, or someone tried to make a bloomin' onion out of sweets.
As for why the pink cake exists? Someone got challenged to put Sno-balls in a cake, obviously. You *really* don't want to see what the other baker did in their homemade baking challenge. (You know, like how sometimes you pretend you're on a cooking show when you're making dinner…other people do this, right?)
The pink fuzzy balls look like Hostess Sno-Balls to me. Maybe they are Gail's favorite thing to eat, but she doesn't get them often because it is such a childish taste, so they put some on the cake to say, "Enjoy whatever you like, it's your birthday!"
That's the best I can do. The other cakes have no excuse.
The pattern in the circle area on the fondant cake looks like the computer displays on the original Star Trek show, weirdly shifting colored lights. Had to be the inspiration for that cake.
That cake with the weird swirly fondant circle? I think the circle was stuck on to obscure some writing. This is a repurposed cake.
The label on #4 could be WARCRIME CAKE. It's not, but I can squint.
I really hope those pink fuzzy balls are sno balls lmao if not I think they might be tribbles and if so that's just evil wanting to eat them lol.