Rhymin' Wreckers
July 20, 2018 What if cakes were the last lines in really bad poems?
Come, my friends. LET US DREAM TOGETHER.
Work anniversary
Head of the class
A lousy coffee cup??
;)
You'll get no bars here
No cells in this park
So let's give a cheer:
;)
Not sure how it works -
The questions are numerous
Still, hooray for you!
;)
Like, this is totes "no"
ROTFL 4ever
ANYway, so,
;)
Beard scruff and muscles
Scratchin' all day
Something that rhymes with muscles
;)
With age comes wisdom
If I may be so bold
To the smartest friend I know:
;)
I'm hip and I'm fly
All the bros know me
Ladies, I go by
;)
Thanks to Anony M., Sarah S., Derek, Anony M., Melissa H., Karen T., & Hannah D. for helping us celebrate Bad Poetry Day without even knowing it.
*****
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Reader Comments (23)
According to Google, Bad Poetry Day is August 18. So you're a bit early. The cakes and poems are hilarious though!
If it weren't for the subject matter, most of those cakes would not even be wrecks. XD XD
#1: For her 20th birthday, Cleopatra's owner decided to indulge her.
#2 Nice roses, properly spelled - can't see a wreck here.
#3: Do you think the customer specified the question mark, or was the decorator unable to resist?
#4: See #2.
#5: How on earth did they do that surface texture? Why did they choose pink for the writing? And what in the world is this celebrating? I can feel the honoree's embarassment from here.
#6 & #7: I give up.
My sources say Bad Poetry Day is August 18. Oh well, I can take it early.
For the first cake, my best guess:
You're my pile of rocks with poop on it?
Epic!
1) So he had a donkey for twenty years, and then it died and he had to bury it?
2) Pipe a yellow ribbon round that parole cake...
3) But will there be womb for it?
4) From the bakery of the nebulous.
5) Used to be the rite of passage to manhood was passing some test to prove it. Now you just get a cake? Isn't that like a participation trophy?
6) Your old what? They never completed the thought. (Or completed the grammar).
7) Truth be told, he always was a little backwards.
So sideways elephant wearing a hipster scarf is the 20th anniversary gift?
Re: the cherry pie: I'm wondering: "...Your Old" WHAT? (shoes? underwear? friends?)
=^~.-^= ... we may never know.
Bad poetry indeed... XD
Cake #5 "something that rhymes with muscles" = Hydraulic corpuscles
The "Dear God Your Old" cake is made better by the fact that it was for my mom's birthday. My husband and I thought it would be funny to ask the bakery to write that, but didn't read it until we got it to my mom's house and realized it was misspelled.
I have to agree that these cakes are mostly not awful. The subject matter may be questionable, but the execution is at least passable. For... more than half of them, anyway.
Before the pictures loaded, and before I read the introduction, I thought this was a post of really bad haikus (rhyme scheme, anyone?).
And then I got stopped by the "Dear God Your Old" cake. Because it appears to be cheesecake. I'd be mad at my "friend" for giving that to me, and I'd be mad at the baker/decorator for the grammar, but…cheesecake. Sigh. You are both my friend and my enemy. You're my 1# Homie.
Hats off to you Karen T. 👒👒😂
And I love the azz cake....pretty funny.🐴
MaryO1230
These are hysterical! Even my hubby was laughing at these. I just told him if we get that first cake for our 10th anniversary in October someone's butt is in trouble lol.
I LOVE the poem
Like, this is totes "no"
ROTFL 4ever
ANYway, so,
Happy whatever!
I really did LOL.
I also don't get everyone saying these aren't wrecks. They need to re-read your definition of what a wreck is.
Switch 'em around, no need to rhyme muscles
Muscles and beard scruff
Scratchin' all day
Is my ep[ic]bod buff 'nuff?
Manhood Hooray
What in the name of all that’s frosted and sugary is cake #1 supposed to be? All I can think of is poo, atop some grey amorphous blobs. “20 Years My Poo Amoebas”?
I think God knows he's old...no need to rub it in
The last one would be perfect for Jason from The Good Place.
That first cake - a horse?
Embedded, in the cake? Why?
Seriously, why?
Secondly, hi, Mark.
No more prison - this cake is
Punishment enough.
Cake three - even the
Baker wants to know - just how
Many do you need?
Four. Yeah. Whaatever.
I D K. G T F O.
M O U S E.
Five: that's very nice,
I'm sure. By all means cheer. Just
Don't wave it about.
Grod? Grod? You there, Grod?
Cake number six implies that
You left your old behind.
Seven number: Yo,
Homie. Oh, just one more thing:
Pull your damned pants up!
Before I scrolled down, I thought that that second cake was going to be about cell phones!
I think ssomr75's "Hydraulic corpuscles" beats my thought. My entry for the third line re:cake #5 was "Father-son tussles."
If August 18 is "Bad Poetry Day," does that mean you have a case of "premature enumeration"?