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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
May242018

No, I Won't Show You The Uncensored Version, So Don't Ask

It's National Photography Month, bakers, so let's go over a few ground rules again:

 

1) Stop doing this:

Just stop it.

 

Ground Rule The Second:

If the customer asks for a "cute train photo cake" for her 2-year-old, remember to include the word "cute" in your Google image search:

::sigh::

 

Ground Rule III: This Time It's Personal:

Look, I'm not saying a 13 year-old girl can't love a reality-show bounty hunter *and* frilly pastel flowers. I'm just saying maybe those two themes don't complement each other so well:

 

And finally, please, bakers, if you forget everything else, remember this:

 

ABSOLUTELY NO PHOTOS OF REAL HOO-HAWS WITH REAL BABIES COMING OUT OF THEM

Talk about your "flash photography." Heyooooo.

Though I'm sure the "lol" made it alllll better for the unsuspecting party-goers.

(The caption said it was for a "surprise baby shower." I'LL SAY.)

 

Thanks to Rebecca H., Silvia R., Eric M., & Adrienne G. for proving there IS such a thing as too much of a spread at parties.

*****

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

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Reader Comments (26)

That last one? This should NEVER be put on a cake (or anywhere else for that matter). but really, HOW CLASSY? amiright? I've been on the end of the that view, as a medic assisted in a few deliveries, and the view, is not something that should be ON A CAKE PEOPLE. Ithank the Lord it doesn't have sound or smellivision, hurk.) Oh wait, it says LOL, well, that makes it all better. WHO WANTS CAKE?

May 24, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

Those ribbons on the teen cake will be hard to digest!😉
MaryO1230

May 24, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

Those ribbons on the teen cake will be hard to digest!😉
MaryO1230

May 24, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

Dear god in heaven, WHO THE HELL THOUGHT THAT KIND OF PICTURE BELONGS ON A CAKE?!?!?!?!?!?!??! :O :O :O :O

May 24, 2018 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

At least the train is a cheery yellow. Most of the trains that I see are varying shades of brown and rust, usually covered in graffiti.

May 24, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Jen had me at “Absolutely no photos”!

May 24, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

Don't worry - I won't ask.

May 24, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterTintifee

Did... did they cut out little spots at the bottom of the picture to go around the letters of "lol"? And does that mean that they wrote "lol" first, then placed the picture (lining up the cut outs with the letters), then did the border? Or... what? I just don't understand the logistics there... Couldn't they have just either trimmed straight across the bottom or scooted the picture up a centimeter higher?

I mean, yeah, the picture is 100% not for cake, but my brain can't get around the little indents they made for the letters. Why is that the part that I'm more confused by?

May 24, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMeridaAnn

What the heck is wrong with people? Have they no shame?

"Too much of a spread at parties." Ohmyholygoodness. I just laughed so hard I spit.

May 24, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterCeleste Champion

These are ALL full of Freudian. symbolism.....,just throw in a banana peel.
=^-.-^=

May 24, 2018 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

That last one??
Just the thought makes me uh.. think twice about EVER eating cake again.

May 24, 2018 | Unregistered Commentersuized

The bad taste of the people ordering that last cake aside, I want to know why any baker would agree to do it?! I mean, have they no limit to how low they will sink? Wait, this is Cake Wrecks. Of course they don't!

May 24, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterLaura P.

wow. I can't even.... Thanks for the edit of the last one. I don't need to see the fine china.

May 24, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

If that last cake was for a baby shower, wouldn't that mean the Wigan hadn't had the baby yet? So the picture on the cake would be of some other poor woman having a baby?

May 24, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterNadia

Hey now, Alissa's cake put together bounty hunters and frilly pastel flowers about as well as those two were going to to together. Jen you are RIGHT--a thirteen year old girl certainly CAN like bounty hunters and pretty flowers. Little girls are some of our country's most dramatic innovators. As soon as Princess Batman is a major Hollywood movie I am THERE, as would be any right thinking person.

May 24, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterjay

I've been on the medical profession too long. My first reaction to the last one was OMG! He's not wearing gloves!! 😱🤢

May 24, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMB

I'm fine with Alyssa's Bounty-huntin' floral cake. Untillllllllll the ribbons. Inedible ribbons on a cake. Bad wreckerator!

Cake #1 in all it's glorious wreckeration - I have a friend who would love, I say LOVE, to have someone give that cake with her face on it for her birthday. She is numerically a grown woman. I must admit, however, that I would enjoy seeing her cakerized!

We will not speak of the last cake.

May 24, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterpat gann

I am still laughing at the first cake and cringing at the last one - oh my.

@MeridaAnn - I noticed that too and thought the same thing at first, but looking closer, I think the "cutouts" are dabs of white icing, over the photo but under the purple icing.

May 24, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Oh so many thanks to you for NOT showing the uncensored version of that last cake. Oh I just bet it was a surprise baby shower the guests probably took one look and shrieked in surprise all right lol. Ugh.

May 25, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Oh my. If I promise not to ask for the uncensored version will you promise not to send it to me? You're the best!

May 25, 2018 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

MB, the doctor on the last cake is wearing gloves - or has the most weirdly wrinkled wrists I ever saw. (I was trying not to look at the centre of the picture).

May 25, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Why is that on a CAKE?

May 25, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterR.

That last cake. No. No no no no no no.

May 25, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterIma

No, no cooters, no crotchfruit, no just no. En Oh. NO.

May 26, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

I've been reading CW for a few years now (although I was not around at the very beginning, I'll admit), and this is a first. This post is the first (or should I say "1th") time I have been more amused by the comments than by the official commentary. And don't worry, Jen and John tHoJ, you are not losing your touch. As I read the comments, I kept having to repeat, "THAT? THAT is what you're having trouble with? THAT is what you're hung up on?"

Then I got to the last currently-published comment, and yelped, "FRUIT?"

But as long as we're being seriously detail-oriented, and practicing Freudian repression or suppression at the oppression of that rendition of parturition, let me ask: Was it a surprise-baby shower, or a surprise baby-shower? Oh, wait, scratch that (NOT LITERALLY)--it looks like there was adequate preparation for baby. There is no preparation adequate for...

What was I talking about, again?

June 1, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

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