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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
May182017

Bad Giraffe! BAAAAD!

When your last name is Hammer, there's really just one way to nail a baby shower cake.

And that way...

 

...is NOT LIKE THIS.

Aw, crap.

 

Still, at least everyone can get a chuckle over sh*tty "hamer"s. Imagine being the only one at a baby shower to see something wrong with this cake topper - which, incidentally, ALSO involves nailing things:

o.0

Er, look, I realize my mind's in the gutter often enough to sprout legs and start scurrying, but seriously... HOW DID THE BAKER NOT SEE THIS?

Ahem.

 

Quick palate cleanser: look how pretty!

(By Sweet On You Cakes)

 

Aaaand back to reality:

Oh, BABY.

Almost makes you long for the days of hammer logs and randy giraffes, eh?

 

Thanks to Elizabeth H., Emily S., & Robin D. for the capital wreckage.

*****

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Reader Comments (24)

Re: the second cake.
If the parents to be are proud of their girafelphant and want to commemorate its creation why must you question their choices?

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterZeenia

Hammer turds and horny giraffe.... who knew these could be sooooo funny?

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO1230

It's... conceivable this was intentional. It's somewhat more accurate than putting a stork with a bundle up there.

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

If the giraffe had been with an zebra, it did happen.

At the Wild Animal Park in San Diego county, one of the male giraffes lost part of his tail because a zebra stallion took offense. To be sure, the giraffe had only known his own kind before coming to the park. When I was last there many years ago, he was the most prolific male that they had.

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAnna A

Third one's a Sunday sweet. Did you get some pictures mixed up?


[Editor's note- I must be tired. We now have two of these comments and I honestly can't tell if they're supposed to be jokes. I have to believe that if you've read Cake Wrecks for more than a week, you must understand what a missed mark is, right? How we put the good cake first and then the resulting bad cake? But every time we post these lately, we get these comments about how the requested cakes aren't bad. That's the point. They're not supposed to be bad! So. If you're trolling me, bravo. Your wit is as dry as the desert. If not, then I don't understand. Either way, I'm going back to bed. -john (the confused)]

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBernadette

The giraffe/elephant combo reminds me of the Modern Family ep where Mitch and Cam went to donate the gigantic stuffed toys they'd received for Lily to some charity. They had lashed the toys onto the roof of the car but it was difficult to get out of the parking space and the toys, er, rocked back and forth rhythmically.

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterzeph

Zeenia- that's funny! But the implication that the mom is an elephant is insulting in its own right. Oy!

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Such a sweet couple - such a pretty cake. I don't understand why you think it is a wreck. My question is, who will the baby look like??? elaffe, girphant?

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered Commentergrandmajudybeth

The last cake - is Raby the singular form of rabies? Cause that wreck is making me ill.

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCorgilvr

The elephant and giraffe is well done, apart form the unfortunate topper I wouldn't mind paying for that.
At least he elephant is not on top :)

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRiana

As a teacher with TWO WEEKS left of school, my new go-to line is "aaaand back to reality"! (as in, Mrs. A, how can I get a passing grade?, Mrs. A, can I make up those assignments from last semester? Mrs. A, I want to do my class presentation now, the one I was supposed to do 4 weeks ago?)....

I appreciated (SO MUCH) the palate cleanser... elephants and giraffes...oh no

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered Commentermsanthrope

the last cake reminds me of this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONIJXHvoynw

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered Commentert.e.

So.... Giralephant? Elephaffe??

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterErica

What does it say about me that the first thing I saw on cake #1 was not turd hammers but floppy pink wangs?

Well, the baker for the first one was clearly, uh, hammered.

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKai Lowell

All I could think of with the first cake was a rather memorable line from Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog... and I wonder if the guy makes that joke.

May 18, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJules

John (thoJ), I get it.

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Well that was one way to make my husband walk out of the room quick. He took one look at the randy giraffe and went nope don't want to know and went in the kitchen lol. At least he didn't drop a Mtn. Dew this time. I am still laughing.

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Cake Wrecks has ruined me for life!
Today was the first day I had made and piped chocolate buttercream since regularly reading your hilarious blog. My first thought was don't let it look like the chocolate poop I keep seeing on Cake Wrecks.

Cake two is actually quite well done and pleasantly understated except for the unfortunate topper. Surely no baker would actually think of putting them in that pose. At first I thought a naughty guest had tampered with the cake but then looking closer it still appears to be in some kind of kitchen so the baker must have put them like that. My mind is boggling!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterThe baking chemist

Regarding the 2nd cake, I COULD make a political joke and say,

"Glad it was a giraffe and not a donkey!"

But...I won't do that.

Instead, I will just comment on the last cake. It looks a bit...uh...frilly.

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNeeta

Hi!
My cake is the "palate cleanser", can you please credit my business? Sweet On You http://sweetonyoucakes.ca
Thanks! I love Cake Wrecks!

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAnna Craig

Ok, I saw the 'hammers' and the 'after-school what?' but I have to know, why is that last cake bleeding?

May 19, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterPuzzleninja

What do you get when you cross a giraffe with an elephant?

I don't know, but between the length of its neck and its nose, it WON'T HAVE TO TURN THIS CAR AROUND, it will SPANK YOU RIGHT WHERE YOU SIT!

Hee hee...mental picture of an elephraffe driving a car...

May 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

Wow, the last cake was trying to win some kind of wreck award, clearly. That's... painfully bad! The cake is pretty much trying to self-destruct out of mercy even!

Meanwhile, I have no idea what is up with the first cake, but that's ok. You don't need to understand what the cake is for to admire poo-wang--misspelled-hammers.

May 20, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKit

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