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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Apr062017

NOBODY SAY "SPERM"

Sometimes bakers like to stretch themselves by making unusual object cakes. You know, stuff you don't usually see made into cake. Everyday things. Mundane things.

Stupid things.

Like this tiny broom.

 

And bikini bottoms:

JUST the bikini bottoms.

(Part of me wants to believe this is a Spongebob cake gone wrong.)

 

And this... tree?

Because when I think "festive party food," my first thought is, "I dunno, maybe a tree?"

 

Some conjoined pencils:

It's like those snap-and-share Popsicles, only ugly and harder to eat.

 

When I turn 44 I hope someone gets me a confusing baby shower cake:

Complete with lil' poo pile.

(It's a key. How do I know? YEARS OF EXPERIENCE.)
(Also Julie told me.)

 

And finally, there's this tall drink of water:

Which would be really boring if it weren't for the... captured tadpole.
(Yes, we're calling it a tadpole.)

Ahem.

Sooo, yeah. Way to stretch yourselves, bakers!

NOW STOP IT.

 

Thanks to Megan J., Heather F., K.B., Kathy B., Julie, & Leslie, who claims that "tadpole" rings a bell. [head tilt] Nope, I don't see it.

*****

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Reader Comments (32)

I believe the last photo is a cakey diagram of a Na'vi female's reproductive system. I saw Avatar one and a half times so I know these things.

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

"Lil poo pile" BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

I think that last one is upside-down. I bet it's Liberty Bell.

:)

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterikemiker

That's a BROOM? How can you tell? I currently own two brooms, and have owned/used many others before and none of them looked like THAT. Even the "traditional" straw broom.

I truly thought it was a sleeveless hula dress at first.

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Turn the last one over. It's obviously the Liberty Bell!

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

Top one, Dalek in a skirt, obvs. Last one, menstrual cup. With tadpole. Because tadpoles.

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Well....the fourth one ("pencils") had the number 2 right.
=^-.-^= And I wouldn't dream of saying that word you said...(neither would Mr Eps.)

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

But what is the conjoined pencil one really? My brain just can't make it be anything at all! It's driving me crazy!

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterShkuz

I adore that you noted that conjoined pencils were harder to eat. Not impossible, or even inadvisable. Just more of a challenge.

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLugh

That's not a baby shower cake, that's an embryo shower cake:
http://wecareindia.com/images/inner/fertility/Embryo-Donation.jpg

You're welcome.

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterlmr

Drugs are bad, mm'kay bakers?

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Pretty sure that last one is a diva cup.Why the tadpole? I have no idea.

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

OK, apparently I have been reading too many sex toy review blogs because that... "tree" looks exactly like a buttplug to me. Like wow, that's a buttplug.
Also, I think "Liberty Bell" might be this year's Epcot.

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAngie NK

I see a whisk broom.
*Because when I think "festive party food," my first thought is, "I dunno, maybe a tree?"*
Only for Arbor Day.
Yeah, I saw the key: why is this poor guy only getting a key on his 44th birthday, don't most boys get their first keys at about 16 (recently raised in IND. to 16.5 in the vain hopes of reducing accidents)?

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

the poo pile in cake #5 is probably supposed to be an eye - at least the front looks like it's supposed to be the head of whatever that is.

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterjane lewis

I think the first one is supposed to represent a shaving brush, but that's a kind of small broom, yes?

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMariaTeresa

@Shkuz -- that really IS two pencils. They['re conjoined, I presume, because it's easier to ice a bunch of cupcakes in a big slab than two long thinner ones.

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

The first one looks like Admiral Ackbar in a dress. (Must have been some party!)

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRoxy Random

I instinctively know what 99% of these cake are before reading your posts because I am an elementrary school art teacher:) The similarities are uncanny.

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterchrissybozz

That tall drink of water is a bell, I think.

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMissy N

that first one...are you sure it's not *ahem* a um...shuttle...cock? that *may* have been my first thought on seeing it...my mind guttered it completely. :D

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Hah! Y'all beat me to it with the liberty bell comments:-p

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

I thought the key one was a tardigrade.

April 6, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTaffy Cake

It's official, I've been reading Cake Wrecks too long (long enough?). I knew exactly what every single one of these was supposed to be without blinking an eye. I don't know whether to be proud or cry a little. ;)

April 7, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterMovieMom

I think the number 2 uh pencils look like they are going number two lmao. I have a birthday coming up soon and now I am afriad one of these wrecks is coming for me lol. So now I won't get cake I will order a pie instead hehe.

April 7, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Is it just me or do the first two look like Daleks?...

April 7, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterPupfly

I thought the first one was a piece of toast flying around. Rocket Toast!

April 7, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterBetrayer

OMG, Angie, THANK YOUR for saying it before me, because that is *NOT* a tree. That is *DEFINITELY a buttplug.

April 7, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTyler

The water glass(+tadpole) is actually the liberty bell upside down. . . Which kinda makes it worse

April 8, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterScelecat

Great vision, Betrayer. It is Rocket Toast to me as well!

April 9, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRosie

Last one's obviously a sperm whale!

April 10, 2017 | Unregistered Commenteramy

first one is upside down chanterelle mushroom?

April 12, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterwendy

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