Rear View Wreckage
December 4, 2017 Loyal henchpersons, I won't lie to you: today's post scares the bejeepers out of me.
You see, if ever a Wreck was cursed on this blog, it is the Baby Butt Cake:
I first posted one waaaay back in the infant days of Wrecks, but I soon had to pull the photo when I learned the baker was not a pro. So, I replaced it with a different butt cake. This time the baker was a pro, but was also none too pleased at having her creation be the butt of my butt jokes. So, I pulled THAT photo. (To date, I've only had about 8 or 9 bakers ever ask me to remove a photo. Not a bad record, for all that.)
At that point I decided the post was cursed, and left it.
However, today, dear readers, I face my fears. You see, the butt cake phenomenon has been growing unchecked, and is now threatening to overrun the world's baby showers. My friends, we cannot let this happen. Even if the cakes are well-executed,* I ask you: where is the sense? Where is the "cute?"
[*Heh. "Well-executed." Heh.]
Aha! You see, most pro-butt bakers won't show you *this* angle.
For many of these designs, the angle is such that it appears the baby is stuck head-down inside the cake - thereby answering the "where's the rest of him?" question, but raising several more of the "who buries a baby in a cake?" variety.
Other bakers unashamedly go with the Bisected Baby approach, figuring that a little fondant draping over that waist jutting off the side somehow makes the whole thing "work."
And since we're obviously not letting a trifling thing like anatomy get in the way, why NOT have Gumby knees?
Ouch.
This one almost looks like a head and hands popping up:
While this one makes me really....uncomfortable.
[looking left and right] Um...
Ok. Yeah. I'm just going to go ahead and say it:
The "Barely There Censor Bear" is really earning his money today.
And finally, let's end with something so hilarious that I have no choice but(t) to believe the baker is mocking the entire Baby Butt genre:
Yes!!If you must have a butt cake, then this is the one to have.
(Always go for comedy over cute with body part cakes. It's safer that way.)
*****
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Reader Comments (12)
It seems obvious that these bakers have gotten a little behind in their work. Sadly, they're making themselves and their creations the butt of jokes. Maybe we could hire an emcee and make all the more jokes, you know - a rump roast. If they keep this up, their careers will tank and then they'll be bringing up the rear. (It looks like they already have). Why do they keep doing this? Maybe we can hire a private investigator to get to the bottom of this.
Finally, this last one comes from my wife, (and co-conspirator). Know what kind of frosting they are using?
Butt-er cream!
Well! That last one must have some serious armature (as opposed to amateur) inside to appear so free floating; I'm impressed. Little Nate can stay as long as he wants (or as long as he can breathe) for all I care!
=^~.-^=
I did realize that it's probably cheeky to make too many cracks about these baby butt cakes. People might see them as real bum-mers.
As a baker, I have to plead guilty... I am guilty of not being able to persuade a prospect customer to change her mind and order a different cake. I have “executed” at least three babies! D:
I cannot understand the appeal for that cake, either. But, I’d rather do a butt cake and shut up about how creepy I think it is, than let the customer go to another baker.
I can always make myself feel better baking that baby’s Baptism or 1st year cake!! 😊😊
Why does Nathan have crash test dummy knees?.....Just askin.
giggle
-the last one reminds of a wedding where one of the youngsters couldn't wait, climbed onto the table with the cake and then fell into the cake.
"Barely There Censor Bear" still makes me snicker.
The first one looks like a giant poached egg with legs. Yum!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I want that last cake. High five to the baker and client for a less gross original idea!
I blame these nightmares on Pinterest. Never saw the full diaper half a torso until social media exploded.
Yeah, just... no.
Standing ovation to Mike for much-needed laughter, though!
@Chicago
You're too kind. But I'll be here all week!
Nathaniel is getting out of there fully clothed?
Neat trick, Nathaniel.