Open Belly, Insert Foot
October 5, 2017 Friends, countrypersons, CCC-makers (ptooie!):
I've tried to be reasonable.
I've tried to show you the appetite-killing effects of edible mommy bodies:
;)
I've tried to show you the cannibalistic undertones, the disturbing ramifications, and the flat-out creepiness of neck stumps and booby slices.
I've even shared with you the horror stories of raspberry fillings, plastic baked-in babies, and mock C-sections!
All to no avail.
And now - NOW - bakers are adding an homage to the scariest scene in Ghostbusters. Because that scene with the demon dogs pressing their faces through the door? [sing-song] A-DOR-ABLE!
;)
Quick! GET OUT OF THE ARMCHAIR, DANA!!
Sure, they might have started out small...
;)
"Aw, lookit da cutesy-wootsy lil' foot sticking out! Haha! So sweet!"
...but it wasn't long before bakers were pushing the boundaries of what anyone could stomach.
;)
Literally.
(Also, ow.)
And because more is ALWAYS better...
;)
"Leeeet ussss ooooouuuut!!"
...it wasn't long before the laws of physics went completely out the window:
;)
Sweet mercy, woman, TELL ME you're getting an epidural.
So I ask you, fellow citizens, are we to stand for this? Or will we put our foot down, stop toeing the line, and kick belly cakes to the curb once and for all?!
Hey, wait a second. You just saved these photos to your "inspiration" folder, didn't you, bakers? YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING TO ME, are you??
Oh, fine. Just send me photos when you're done, and we'll call it even.
Thanks to Amy U., Elizabeth M., Alanna E., Amanda R., Mary V., & Holly T. for today's belly laughs.
*****
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Reader Comments (12)
I want to give the baker of the first cake props for knowing where the apostrophe goes in the word it's - not at the end or between the i and the t.
You have to wonder, what are these wreckorators trying to do? Evoke some kind of belly laugh,or get us to give some other kind of gut reaction? How could any normal people stomach the idea of using these to celebrate the new little one getting ready to make his or her debut? Ah, well, at least these aren't the type that have been posted at other times that are even sicker, you know, the womb with a view. I suggest we should all give these cakes a wide "birth". As Vezzini would say, "Inconceivable".
As an aside, the fourth one is obviously when Tarzan finally got Jane pregnant after so many years of trying. In true wreckorator spirit, they could say "I'ts Boy".
It's likely going to take more than an epidural on that last one. I think the baker fell asleep inside of it before it went into the oven. Look at the size of that FOOT! Who's IN there? Paul Bunion?
=^-.-^=
The last one is a lefty. An Andre the Giant-sized lefty, but a lefty nonetheless.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. I miss the days of a 1/4 sheet cake with pastel yellow and green icing. So glad I have never had to witness one of these horrors "in the flesh."
Sad part is that some of these bakers showed potential talent...they just needed a different subject matter.
How much do these bakers know about anatomy? All of those kids are beech! Dear Heavens!
At least the pink fondant ribbon on the last one is nicely done. 😀
I would make one of these for my baby shower just to share it with you and see it here! Ok, I won't, but that would be the only reason I would want one of these weird cakes. :)
I snortled at that last one! Lol
Oh man what did these wreckerators do? Did they all have horrible baby shower memories and decide to share them with others??? That's the only reason I can think of for these lol.
OK, maybe it's my years of wild hedonism catching up with me, but I swear to Bowie, that second cake looks like "she's" gestating that demonically hideous uni-pega-corn thing from earlier this week! Image is flipped, "head" pointed the other way, but otherwise... *shudder!*
Your Pal,
Storm