Christmas Lives On In Our Hearts & Santa's Wang Nose
January 6, 2017 You can't hide it from me, minions; you miss Christmas. The lights, the food, the days off, maybe not so much the music, but definitely the gifts - am I right?
Well never fear! Because for one day only, I'm bringing Sexy Santa back.
;)
Rudolf the Red KNOWS a nose wang, dear.
(And now you can't unsee it, either.)
Kathy wanted her cake to read, "We love your face." When asked about the decorations, she replied:
;)
AND SO THEY DID.
Of course, some people celebrate a special birth on Christmas:
;)
Yes, Happy Birthday, Jissas.
(I read that out loud and made myself laugh so hard I think I peed a little. And that mental image is my belated Christmas gift to you.)
Now, I know what you're thinking. "John," you're thinking, because you've wrongly assumed only John would joke about peeing himself on this blog, but HA FOOLED YOU, this is Jen, so there - "John," you're thinking, "if you love Christmas so much, why don't you...
;)
"... put this cake out of its misery?"
Good question, minions. Good question.
And finally, let me end with a new-but-belated holiday tradition:
;)
Kissing under the Missile Toe.
Or... Mrissle Foe?
Eh, you know, I'd rather imagine a rocket-propelled foot finger, so let's go with that.
Thanks to Ramzy, Kathy K., Summer G., Candace C., & C. B., who bets this new tradition is really going to take off.
*****
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Update from john (the hubby of Jen): Look what I found!!!
;)
Reader Comments (25)
Omg! The funniest yet! Years ran down my leg too!
Bwah ha ha ha ha! I want a missle toe too!
I think the missile toe may be the next hot thing for the dept of defense. GEt a patent on it Jen and John!
Bahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I've been hanging around here since probably 2009, so I'm pretty sure there's only one of you who would joke about peeing yourself on the blog, and it's not John.
Re that last photo: do you usually keep spare body parts around the house or was that just luck?
On first read, I thought it said; "Kiss me under the Missle, Joe. Tonight."
( just finished reading Eats, Shoots And Leaves, so I'm all juiced up on punctuation)
Back at work today after a horrible cold. Trying not to annoy my fellow cubicle cell mates too much with this cough that just keeps hanging around. Thanks to John's latest artwork, they think I am strangling. Paramedics likely will be called soon.
Hilarious! What does the sticker say on the last one? Chow Cake? Show Cake? I must know.
LOL!! Missile Toe!!!
When I was 8 yrs old, the assistant Brownie leader made a "HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS" cake for Christmas. 20-something little girls knew how inappropriate that was, and were not impressed, nor was their Brownie leader (who happened to also be my mother).
Ahhh, such great old stories of Christmasses past...
I think an ugly Christmas sweater idea has been born: The Missile Toe!
This is exactly what I needed on my last day of winter break!
Rowan and Martin's Flying Fickle Finger of Fate?
What is the last word on the misleading toe cake....someone's name, but who?
Lol that is the most literal mistletoe I've ever seen!
John (thoj) you need to get to work on making missle toes to sell this Christmas! I know I'd buy one!
I think the missle toe must be the male equivalent of female camel toe.
@Shawn: It says "Yellow Cake"(and the snowman has gone cross-eyed trying to read it backwards, from the inside of the lid.)
=^-.-^=
Well played, John, well played.
@Shawn mysterious Yellow cake...what favourite is yellow? Wrecky flavored 😉
Well I for one hope that kissing under a missle toe doesn't become a thing because if it does I will die laughing. Then I can't laugh at anymore wrecks and that would be a huge shame lol.
Jen shares the funny with us...and John has the *perfect* add-on. You two make such a great team!
Also... "foot finger". I'm waiting to see that in cake. :p
I thought it said "Missle Joe Yonishi"!...?
Missle Toe could also be a reference to Tow Missle: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BGM-71_TOW FYI
I, too, must have a Missile Toe decor for next Christmas. MUST. HAVE. MISSILE. TOE.