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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jan302017

Did You See That Ludicrous Display Last Night?

Football cake submissions are up again, which I assume means it's football season.

These accurately reflect my feelings on this matter.

 

In fact, bakers seem to share my general ambivalence toward sports, and have provided us with all KINDS of unenthusiastic football treats to choose from.

I swear this one's being sarcastic.

 

While this one...

"I'm a little bit scared, and I want to leave."

 

Speaking of scared, does it mean anything if one of these is coming out of a gingerbread man's crotch?

Asking for a friend.

 

I don't know what happened here, but I'm pretty sure it was just an excuse to draw boobs:

 

Tell you what, non-fans, maybe we should practice being more enthusiastic.

"Hooray, he's kicked the ball!
"Now the ball's over there!
"That man has it now."

"That's an interesting development!
"Maybe he'll kick the ball.
"He has indeed, and apparently that deserves a round of applause!"

Huh.

On second thought, non-fans, just bring the cake.

 

Thanks to Wendy W., Dafna S., T.K., Audra B., Graeme, Carrie A., & Julia T. for footing the bill AND the ball. Which probably makes no sense, but I'm really trying here, promise.

*****

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Reader Comments (28)

Now I need to go watch The IT Crowd again...

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterStarknight

Have you tried turning it off and on again? Maybe those cakes need to be "rebooted!"

"My mum's on FriendFace,...my MUM!"

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterHeloise

That third picture looks like Hannibal Lecter if he were a pumpkin pie. I guess, if that were true, he'd only eat pie and it wouldn't be much of a story.
Go Team Guys!

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Thank you for posting that "IT Crowd" video. WHY DOESN'T PBS OR BBC AMERICA CARRY THAT?!?!?!

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

I can live with disappointed footballs...o.0

[tilting head] Is it me or they tried to shape helmets on the cakes? No good.

I do know one thing. I will never ever look at gingerbread men the same way.

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTere

Well, I feel pretty much the same way about football. Eh.

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

Why do some of those footballs look as though they are screaming heelllpp....meeee

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Kayk ~ PBS in Dallas shows the IT Crowd on Sundays at 10:00. Jen ~ Soooo funny! Just saw this the other day. The "Are We Not Men?" episode is hilarious. :D

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDonnaB

Never mind the gingerbread mens green crotch fire with backwards toasting fork, why are they next to an escaped albino seal with a sheep on its back?

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDiddleymazi

You know, I've never really thought about football from the equipment's perspective. Perhaps they regard it as the most horrible time of year, something to be endured but never enjoyed. These cakes demonstrate that idea pretty well.

How existential of the bakers.

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

The ginger-crotch ghost is creepy enough, but why are his friends wearing suspenders to hold up their fig leaves? And why are they smearing poo swirls on their chests? What kind of crazy camo is that? What does any of that have to do with football? I'm so confused....

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterAron

42nd what? The artwork does loosely resemble uneven boobs, in a very strange, highly structured lift system of some kind. Perhaps from the same creative manufacturer who designed the neck sling from last week. And what is the significance of the green sperm? So many questions...

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterA Luke

#4 is clearly an homage to hockey. Or maybe a preview of what will happen if you keep eating sweets.

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNHLfan

I myself am pretty "meh" about football, and sports in general. I've tried to watch before, but I just don't get the excitement. However, I am happy for people who can enjoy football or other sports.
And, this was a funny post as usual.

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTime Lord

IT Crowd! Thank you! Perfectly represented by cake.

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

On that last one, this is the first time in my life I've ever equated football with Grumpy Cat.

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterSue

The ball is supposed to fly up and go sailing through the uprights, in a blaze of glory...
The crowd (+/-) goes wild.
You pull up your pants and go home. Score: Yes.
=^-.-^=

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Just reviewing the "boob" cake again. Did they draw perky boobs AND saggy ones? And are they surrounded by Christmas coloured sperm? There must be even more to the story than what we're getting here. It's just that I'm not sure I want to know it.

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterJake & Me

Why is the Ravens player bleeding from the eyeballs?

On a brighter note, the gingerbread man cookie cutter would make excellent football players. Just not decorated like, you know, that.

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTriciaL

I'm going to adopt the red helmet cake for my patronus. Nothing else says "you're kidding, right?" quite like that cake, and that's pretty much my motto for life.

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

Are we SURE cake #3 is related to sports ball? Though since I can't figure out anything else to which it might be related, it might as well be sports ball.

January 30, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNanalettie

I wonder if any of these wreckerators have ever seen a football or even a football game lol. Those are hilarious cakes.

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

We have sportsing here in Australia too! And I feel about it exactly the way cake #2 does.

@Degera - yes!

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterKismet

Not sure about #3. Someone suggested it resembled your President until we realised they're footballs ...

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterFair Flummoxed

The IT Crowd is on Netflix, for those who care. Love the shout out!

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterDorcas with an 'a'

When did it become a "thing" to put a face on a football?

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

Well the caged mushroom does look rather like Moss... if you squint and imagine he's orange for some reason.... I agree with the other posters. Cakes make for a great "bring the IT Crowd to America" campaign....

January 31, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

On the gingerbread men...well they are "goal" posts, so I guess those cookies are getting lucky. I'll see myself out.

February 1, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterThe peanut

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