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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Sep092016

Friday Favs 9/9/16

Some of my favorite new submissions this week:

 

When you don't know if you should be more relieved... or worried:

Is that... a pie tin?

o.0

***

 

Her local bakery didn't have a bowling design, so Renee brought in a little plastic bowling kit a few days ahead of time for them to use on her son's birthday cake.

The good news?

They DID put the plastic bowling set on the cake.

The bad news?

This was the cake:

FORE!!

***

 

I'll give you a hint on this next one: it's a football helmet.
Now see if you can figure out what it is:

No clue, right? Right there with ya.

***

 

THIS, my friends, is a simple-but-sweet Cornelli Lace sheet cake:

 

And THIS is what happens when a baker sees that photo and says, "I could knock that sucker out in like 90 seconds. You! Boy! THROW ME THAT PIPING BAG."

Boo. Ya. Emphasis on the "boo."

***

 

And finally, there's this:

Which I thought was maybe a little inappropriate for a three year old, but then John pointed out it's supposed to be a dirt path.

[side eye]

[more side eye]

[weighing the many, MANY possible jokes here]

[and also the number of children reading this]

So at least they nailed the "dirty" part.

 

Thanks to Hank C., Renee B., Brendan B., Krystine M., & Wanda K. for driving that last one home.

*****

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Reader Comments (42)

Cornelli? It looks more like spaghetti. Yeesh!

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

The baker had some real intestinal fortitude to attempt the Cornelli Lace cake!

(huh?huh?) :D

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

Love reading cake wrecks. Feel bad for the kid with the last cake. Maybe the decorator had a different kind of "Ryder" in mind.

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAfterMyOwnHeart

That is a very good instant ramen block cake though.

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMaxie

1. I am so glad this is "Not For Sale."
2. Maybe the baker plays a new obscure sport that you have to hit a golf ball into a hole in order to be able to bowl?
3. That "football" player needs to see a dermatologist.
4. Where's the spaghetti sauce?
5. The last one, my friends, is the "Bigger, Blacker D**k" version depicted in cake form from Cards Against Humanity. ( I really TRIED to see a dirt road...but I couldn't tilt my head and squint hard enough to see it.)

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

Three year old? Are you kidding? It's perfectly appropriate. They love toilet humor at that age.

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

I think the Cornell Lace cake is for a funeral. "The worms go in, the worms go out..."

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Nice yellow Cornelli Lace! ^u^

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSue

On the Cornelli Lace attempt cake, I immediately thought "Demented Spaghetti". Sorry, baker, I guess I'm just weird.

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Why would you feel any worse for the Ryder kid than for brides with completely ruined wedding cakes? For one thing, to a 3YO kid, a cake is a cake is a cake. (Amirite?)The kid has a lifetime of cakes ahead of him, and maybe they won't all be wrecks, but the bride has only one chance at a wedding cake.

I will never understand some people's rationales.

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHUH??

At least they got the bowling pins laid out properly-they could have just set them around the edges...

I see the helmet-the chocolate chip cookie looks like the face. Of a teenager perhaps?

I'm glad John pointed out that is a dirt path-That I didn't see! LOL Would a toy car or bike on it have been better or worse? Before we had kids, my husband and I got those fake photos in Las Vegas. My face was put on the body of a woman who's probably a 50FFF. When our son was 3yo, I was holding him to look at the photos on our bookcase. I tend to be on the flat side. When my son saw the fake photo, he laughed a "heh". So I'm quite sure that 3yo is old enough to be confused by his cake. :-(

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

The bowling/golf cake may be the purest cake wreck you've posted in a long time. My brain has been caroming inside by skull for quite a while after encountering it. Can't even imagine the heights of ignorance that produced that design.

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterharold

Maxie beat me to it. I was going to say that Cornelli lace cake looks like a brick of uncooked ramen.

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKogarashi

I did not realize you could recycle coffee grounds as sprinkles. This blog is so educational.

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKim L.

The last one is pretty impressive for a 3 year old!

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDatapath

The lace cake to me, looks like a picture I saw in microbiology...it was the chapter on tapeworms I believe... O_o. And that last one, not sure if picturing it as an adult toy or a pile of crap is worse D:

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Well, now I know where to go for a "gift-wrapped ramen noodle" cake. I am *positive* this is important.

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMonica

Cornelli lace? No, writhing worms!

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

@KimS: Yes....yes, I can see "something", there....maybe not exactly "fortitude"...Perhaps it might have come out better (so to speak) with the *intestinal distress* specimen in the photo below it.
=^-.-^=

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Coming soon to a Putt-Putt course near you: Bowling Golf!

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

The last cake looks like what happens after the dog comes in and rubs their butt on the floor. And, yeah, it looks like something else too, but that's already been mentioned.
Gosh I love Friday!

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPenny

Imagining a five iron coming into contact with a bowling ball. My elbows are tingling just from the thought of it, and not in a good way.

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterColin

Nay. Nay, Cornell I Lace. That my friends is ramen!

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSue W.

Dirt path? Is that what the kids are calling skid marks these days?

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRobin in Kansas

Cornelli looks like Top Ramen out of the bag...

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCoffeeConfessor

I'm just in love with the fact the golfer has a club that's bent in half.... like he already tried to send that bowling ball flying with it...... DIIIINNNNGGGGGGGGG!

Also: "I can have any cake that doesn't sell by the end of the day? Really? AWESOME. I am going to write Not for Sale on this one!"

And a pile of raw spaghetti is talented but that last one.... I'm just saying I wouldn't pull it out and show it to family and friends at any three year old's birthday party.... COUGH COUGH.

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

My 8 yr old says that last one is a "poop syringe"!

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTigrisKris

The first one looks like it's decorated with deviled eggs.

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKnittedbooties

If the "cake" isn't for sale, then what are they supposed to do with it?

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

Hrmm I once saw a video of a bowling bowl loaded into a cannon and used to knock down bowling pins....it worked! Compared to that using a golf club is pretty tame....

I saw the simple yet elegant lace theme on a Costco cake. The wreckerator wouldn't be good enough to even work THERE!

I know it's a football helmet....for the Miami Dolphins maybe? If it's not that I give up.

If that's supposed to be a 'dirt tracks' where's the ATV that's supposed to go with it?!?

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNathan R.

Dear "HUH??",
Nobody said that Ryder's cake is worse than a wedding wreck. Each cake is judged on it's own merits (or, rather, lack thereof). Ryder's cake has earned it's ridicule all by itself.

My favorite, however, among this week's submissions is Quinn's. The grass, the sun, the bent golf club, the fluffy white ball and all the little white balls following it -- it looks like an entirely new version of lawn bowling.

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJane

The second one is either monumentally stupid, or the greatest Big Lebowski reference I've ever seen.

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterManWithThePlanet

Hey! That's my Cornelli lace cake! The good example, not the bad. Oh god, not the bad. But yay!

September 9, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlexis

Where's the little flavor packet that goes with the ramen cake?

September 10, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Nathan R, was that on Mythbusters?

September 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

That last one, that's a classic poo wang. I'm glad I'm not the only one who saw a block of ramen noodles tied with green ribbon!

The real lace cake is lovely, btw!

September 11, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

OK, firstly, I can clearly see it's not cornelli work. And yes, there's probably something more than a little wrong with me, but I actually *like* the not-cornelli/ramen/spaghetti cake. Might have to make on for the next occasion around here.

September 12, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterObesa Cantavit

AAAAAAAAARH EPIC POO WANG PATH IS EPICALLY EPIC! *faints with excitement*

September 13, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterdr handle

@Anne no it was on AFV (America's Funniest home Videos) it was part of a bowling bloopers montage. (that WAS what you were asking about right?)

September 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNathan R.

I saw the so-called football helmet in real life. I thought it had something to do with a baby. I kept trying to see a bassinet or a stroller, something infant related. When I was told what it was supposed to be I just couldn't see it, still can't.

September 13, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShadow Loomis

Maybe the football helmet is a baby bonnet?

September 15, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterhi

That one with the green ribbon looks like Italy is now part of Scandinavia!

September 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterOLUT

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