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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Sep022016

Friday Favs 9/2/16

Some of my favorite new submissions this week:

 

Wrecky minion Laura ordered this design for her son's birthday:

 

...but there must have been a mixup, because instead of trees and pavement, Laura ended up with the rare Mad Mouse, Fury Road color scheme:

"OH BOY! WITNESS ME! HO HO!"

 

Laura tells me her first hint that something was off was the box with her name on it:

Her name is Laura Rio.
[wincing] Oooh. Sorry, Ruwa.

 

Guess what this next one is:

Hint: It's not a cake. It's a lesson in font selection.

 

When only Velveeta and the squirty bottle of Dijon mustard will do:

Ahh, I can just see the birthday's girl's face now.

Best keep that serving knife away.

 

And finally, you wrecky old-timers no doubt remember the original Word Journey, but I submit that this one - dare I say it? - is even better:

Seriously, there are new delights at every turn here. It's a Word Journey with no traffic, your favorite mix tape of boy bands, and every gas station stocked with hot Krispy Kremes and no people in them.

(No people in the gas stations, I mean.)

(Though obviously it's a good thing when Krispy Kremes don't have people in them, either.)

(To be clear, I'm NOT saying Krispy Kremes ever have/had people in them, so don't go spreading that around.)

(I... I'm going to get sued, aren't I.)

 

Thanks to Laura R., Melyssa C., Sara V., & Brooke W. for all the impending Soylent Green jokes. BRING 'EM ON, PEOPLE.

*****

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Reader Comments (56)

Woo-hoo! Not one but two colour blind cake decorators (pictures #2&5)
But, I don't "get" the pillow picture caption. (?)

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

Please pardon me while I go beat my head against that brick wall....

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Paper

Soylent green joke you say? Why is grandpas cake speckled with blood??

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterZeenia

That mustard sunflower cake reminds me of one I was asked to make for someone.

They wanted a cake with Gryffindor colors. To me, the end result looked like the caked had been decorated with ketchup & mustard. They seemed happy, though.

Ah, memories.

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

Ok, maybe it's because I am color blind. But what is wrong with the Mickey Mouse cake?

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPam

I don't get it - is the black cake supposed to be a bib? And if so, why??

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterbb

"My Little Black Bile" ?? Somebody please explain how this happened.

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Laughing too hard today! The mustard cake is so bad without being an overt mistake that it deserves to be appreciated with ROTFL.
(How do we know there aren't people in KK doughnuts? "Soylent Green" anyone? Hmmm...)

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSmarie

I'm confused. What is the "My Little Black Bile" cake supposed to say??

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTrista

Mmmmm...Kripy Kremes with a side of Soylent Green. My favorite! Kinda fits right in with My Little Black Bile.

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNagzilla

Better no people (ever!) in Krispy Kremes than the wedding RSVP offering a meal option of: Child (12 & under)!

And the black thing is a baby bib (not a cake as stated) that says My Little Black Bib (with bad use of fonts, so it looks like bile....)

Wonder who let that one go to production!

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterlisa

It says "My Little Black Bib." It's a bib. For a baby. Not a cake.

Saw it originally on the Fans of Epbot facebook page! If you're not already on there--go check it out!

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHeatherV

It's supposed to say "My Little Black Bib." Took me a solid minute staring at it to figure it out.

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

For those asking, the 3rd picture is NOT a cake. It is a baby bib that is says "My little black bib", but because of a poor font choice bib looks like "bile".

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

It's not cake. It's a bib. It says "My little black bib" with a horrible font.

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

To those asking about the "My Little Black Bile"... It's a bib. And it says "My Little Black Bib". Hence the joke about font selection! ;)

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSawsan

"My Little Black Bib". Would have been so cute if you could read it. (I couldn't read it, I'm good at extrapolating).

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

The best Soylent Green joke I have is that there is a real meal replacement product called Soylent. Google it. They claim it is "soy-based" protein. Yeah. I don't trust them.

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

"My Little Black Bile" is supposed to be "My Little Black Bib". As in "little black dress". It has a shiny necklace at the neckline, see? The FONT choice is all wrong, as it makes bib look like bile. Which is why you'll need a little black bib to catch the black bile from the 'hurk' once you read it as little black bile. Let's not bring this up again, shall we? (see what I did here, bring it up again - huh? no? Okay, slowly backs away from keyboard...)

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

I love Word Journeys! I can't help but think of my favorite movie, "Joe vs. the Volcano", where Joe was shopping for luggage and the salesperson steeples his fingers and says, "Ah. A real journey." (please tell me I'm not alone in my love for this movie).
And this cake is indeed, a real word journey.
Does it mean, "Every smile from your Grandpa is the best? Or, "Your smile is every best Grandpa."
Too close to tell.

On another note, I want to steal the blue roses. They are lovely and I want to eat them. Nom, nom, nom...

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh524

It took me 3 hours and 18 minutes to figure out that "bile" was supposed to be bib. I had to close it and take one more look 4 times. Drove me crazy. Love the Krispy Kreme dialogue!

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

PS You know it's an awesome day on CW when a cake with "Your's Best Grandpa Every :)" written on it has no reader comments.

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

My LIttle Blaack Bile = My Little Black Bib (as in LBDress and pearls). For a stylish little girl who will one day wear little black dresses.

"Rawa Ria" sounds like the way Scooby Doo would say the cake orderer's real name.

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterzephyr

At least the color of that cake was "black as bile"! < WIN right there...?!

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Poor Ruwa. I can certainly sympathize.

When I went to pick up the Australian flag to drape my sister's coffin, they couldn't find it. Panic City! I told them to get the person to whom I had spoken, and he went and found the flag immediately. My "street name" is Dani Rice - the fellow had written *Fanny Brice* on the box!

I swear he wasn't old enough to have a CLUE who she was!

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

I saw the "Little Black Bile" in a store while shopping for baby gifts and had to stare at it in confusion for quite a while before it dawned on me what it actually said. Note: it is NOT a cake.

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSheri

For those who are confused (and it took me a minute too), I'm pretty sure the third wreck is not cake. It is an actual bib. But the font was very poorly chosen, as it appears to say "My Little Black Bile" instead of "My Little Black Bib"

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Was scratching my head about that fancy "My little black bile" cake as well, @erica. I now believe it's a bib and @bb, maybe they were trying to class up a baby shower? Black bile seems to be going for a completely different effect!

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterWildcatMo

"My Little Black Bile" = "My Little Black Bib" - for the fancy infant. (Cursive 'b' looks like an 'l=e' when written in fast frosting)

Just thought I'd be of a little assistance there.

CARRY ON!

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

It says: My Little Black Bib

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNorbert

"mmmm sugar mustard" -Leslie Knope

Also, I think the little black bile is Little Black Bib. Like a little black dress, but for a baby. Maybe?

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAlyssa

It's supposed to read, "My little black bib".
Yes, it's a black bib! With a bling necklace for the babay!

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Ah, the little black bib, designed so baby can coordinate with mommys little black dress or be stylish all on their own. (Done by someone whose last job was in a bakery, perhaps?)

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBessie

Thanks to all the 'soylant green' jokes I'm not clueless as to what the reference at the end was supposed to be (yay!) honestly the color scheme for the first was wrong but the second one....well aside from the spelling that cake with the black color actually looked really nice.

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNathan R.

The bib actually says "My Little Black Bib" (like a little black dress, I'm assuming) but because of the font it took me several minutes to unsee "Bile". The font makes all the difference!

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterRandiLeve

It's a bib, not a cake.

It's supposed to say "My little black bib," as in a play on little black dress. The choice of font makes it look like "bile."

YW

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKermie

I work for the same company the the Mickey Mouse cake is done by. We've switched to all natural colors which is why they are so different than the artificial colors pictured. Now, that's no excuse for the sloppy job, though...

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The black cake is supposed to be a baby's bib and it's supposed to say "My Little Black Bib", but "bib" ended up looking like "bile".

(Of course, there's also the very problematic issue of sensualizing a *baby* with the reference to the stereotypical little black dress, so the whole concept is flawed to begin with, but... yeah.)

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPippi

Yes, @Kermie! I meant to mention that on my original post and thank you for clarifying that for everyone. =) Now I see that it is a stack of bibs in the store, not a bib on a cake. Here I was thinking that Jen meant the bib was not a cake but on a cake.
On another note, yellow mustard and dijon mustard on the same cake. Sounds like our family dinner with both mustards available. Sadly, with less cake.

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterWildcatMo

Ah, now I see it. It is a pile of bibs. It looked like a chair cushion to me at first. Thank you to EVERYONE who commented today explaining it was a badly written on bib.

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterShirley

Has no one declared an EPCOT?

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTaffy Cake

Bile is yellow-green.

Just an observation.

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

I am wondering as well. I can't seem to guess what it should say...

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKathy Weatherford

Woo hoo! The mustard (and Velveeta) cake made it into Cake Wrecks! My life is now complete!

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

As an O.R. Nurse, I can tell you, if you have black bile, it's BAD. You probably shouldn't have any cake. But you might need a bib.j

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterabudoggie

Why are the roses on Grandpa's cake navy blue? Yikes!

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

@Taffy Cake: Yikes! Bite your tongue! (Okay, take a bite of the cake of your choice first,THEN bite your tongue!) =^~.~^=

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@Taffy Cake: Yikes! Bite your tongue! (Okay, take a bite of the cake of your choice, THEN bite your tongue!) =^~.~^=

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@Lisa-- I have seen that RSVP and I say better to eat while they are young and sweet rather than let them turn into bitter teens or worse yet wreckarators who think Micky lives in mustard baby-poo-land, that dijon should ever be a color on a cake (or 2) and that the phrase "Yours best Grandpa Every :) " ever belong on a cake. If the only way to get the wreckiness to stop is to add them to the Soylent green used in these cakes then I guess we'll have to live with that solution!!
I'm not even going to comment on the bile bib.

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterbelovedbyHim

Its people!!!! soylent green is PEOPLE!!!
DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!

September 2, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermichelle

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