Wreck Busters!
May 3, 2016 It's National Paranormal Day, which makes this an EXCELLENT time to check your bakery for paranormal activity, wreckerators.
"You're right; no HUMAN BEING would decorate cakes like this."
Just think, if you find any, you can blame your wrecks on ghosts! Which sounds WAY cooler than blaming "Pam from the deli," 'cuz lets be honest, that's not fooling anyone. WE ALL KNOW THERE'S NO PAM.
;)
Twenty five years of being the virtual scapegoat. Bummer.
OK, first things first: get a bunch of friends together, turn off all the lights, and film each other screaming in the dark.
;)
"Okay, who brought the dog?!"
Then, when everyone's good and winded, head over to the bakery to start checking for ghosts.
Now, sometimes the signs are incredibly subtle, so be on the lookout for anything even slightly "off."
;)
There are a few common symptoms of spectral shenanigans, though:
1) Bleeding Cakes
;)
Well there's something you don't see every day.
2) DVPs, or "Distorted Voice Phenomena"
;)
"I swear that's what they said on the phone!"
Ahh, it's the unexplained sponge migration all over again.
(You forget: I WAS THERE.)
;)
MASS HYSTERIA.
3) Inexplicable Creepiness
;)
Why?
;)
Why??
;)
DANGIT "PAM."
And hey, if any of you do see an actual ghost, I know exactly what to do:
GET HER!!!
And bring ice cream.
Thanks to Beth S., Lisa V., Carolyn, Jackie M., Marissa I., Victoria G., Cheryl C., Ana S., Brianne A., Rachel G., & Amy S. for picking up the phone and calling the prefessionals: WRECK BUSTERS.
*****
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Reader Comments (42)
OMG, Silvia! So. Many. Fingers.
Yes! I've been slowly introducing my son to the great movies of the 80's. We recently watched this one.
But, if I saw that last cake, I know who I would call - Sam and Dean!!
I was watching the Tony Award nominations and Laurance Sponge was nominated for his supporting role in the musical "Waitress" which, ironically, is about a baker. So he deserves a cake.
I never realized Marilyn Monroe had man-hands.
When you get the cake
And it don't look good
Who ya gonna call?
WRECK BUSTERS!
When the buttercream
Makes everyone scream
Who ya gonna call?
WRECK BUSTERS!
@Jen, Brava! Cake #2, with the poo, made me choke on my coffee, but it was worth it. You two should be a head writer of a comedy sitcom, you and THOJ would make an award winning team!
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I call the placenta! What the actual heck, "Pam"?!?! That's...I can't...NO. Just NO.
Forget Pam! That baby looks as if it is floating in amniotic fluid. What the..?
Thank you for incorporating one of my favorite movies into your post. Let the nightmares commence! To be clear, they will be from the pictures, not your spectacular commentary.
oops, I meant cake #3 with the Poo made me choke, not cake #2. I blame PAM for that error. Damn Pam she knows it's Paranormal day doesn't she! I ain't 'fraid of no Ghosts!!
You always have the best holidays. Any reason for cake is a good enough reason. Though my standards have shifted since I've been reading this site.
1) Shaken not stirred.
2) Which quarter century are they talking about? I know those planes are still around, but how old is that cake, anyway?
3) If I had that covering my eyes, I'd scream, too.
4) I actually like the Help Me cake, though I hope they were wearing clean gloves when they painted their hands in raspberry jam. (My mind refuses company-made strawberry jam and bare hands.)
Well, off to work.
Very accurate hands on the Help me cake.
Well now! These are all certainly awful. The cheesecake with sloppy brown stuff on it? Maybe the cheesecake was professional but the brown stuff has to be an aftermarket attempt to customize. "Pam" wearing a strait jacket and a blindfold would have created something..,oh, why go on? The end is near. Today's cakes ( and a fetus suspended in aspic) should be all the signs we need to grab the go bag and hide in the bunker.
Marilyn with man hands and demon eyes? Nice.
The "Help me" cake is actually a call for help from the baker. What are they doing to him or her in the backstore? But the amniotic baby cake… wow. Wasn't "expecting" that.
Gaaah! I was not prepared for that last cake. No, not one bit! LOL
Was that first one supposed to be Elmo??? And that handprint cake....some gross baker who probably didn't wash his or her hands first did that. EWWWWW!
OMG! Did that Marilyn cake BLINK!!!!????? I almost spit out my coffee all over my laptop! AAAAAAarrrrrrrgggghhhhhhhh!
What amazes me is - after all these years, you keep finding cake wrecks to fill up a blog page day after day. Do any of these bakers know about you? Actually - my bet is these aren't really "Bakers" (making the quotation sign in my head as I type...) THESE are created by bored, poorly educated $7 an hour folks in the back rooms of grocery stores who couldn't pass the test to work at Mickey Dee's. They may have skated through 8th grade with spellchek on ther compooters, butt now thay hav 2 tink 4 demselfs.
You make my day every day. Thanks for a great blog!!
Sign you've been reading this blog too long (or just long enough)...
RE: Inexplicably Creepy Chocolate Pigs: "Why does one have eyelashes and the other not? Oh, that one's the girl." *moves on*
And this was before noticing the lipstick. Ha. Lipstick on a pig!
Ok. I'm done now.
The eyelashes and the red lips on the girl mouse AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I do hope those tiny planes mean something to "Pam!!!" Cookiemama, your song was perfection!
Baka - I am pretty sure those are rats.
Now isn't that better :D
@Beth: Yeaah, the eyes DO blink....but the creepy part for me is that its eyes have no discernible WHITES (as in, "Don't shoot until you see the whites of-")....Nope. ..just shiny, blank, "zombie-spider-coming-at-you" dead eyes..... ... ......OKAY, then! Who wants ice cream???? =^@.@^=
Gahh to ALL these cakes! The last cake... I'm pretty sure Sylvia is celebrating his/her 21st BD as a M-T-F transgender person. Those.hands. I can't stop looking!
The "Help Me" cake is awesome. Just sayin'.
Some thoughts on today's post:
1. I actually like the "Help Me" cake with the bloody hand prints. Reminds me of the Walking Dead. Why most normal people would want a cake like that though, I do not know.
2. I have been reading this blog way too long because what I now see is a candle (I think) on the HB CRC cake I initially saw as either a worm or a tiny penis poking out of the icing. Yeah....
3. Why does the shiny chocolate female rodent look like her eyes have been scratched out? Why?!?
4.Mmmmm...fetus jello! But, no, seriously, why would someone put a plastic baby in clear gelatin or whatever that is? Where would you serve that? Gross.
Great post!
After the baby in the see-through womb, the last cake wasn't really that bad.
The last cake is clearly for Madame Leota.
But... but... the rat cake is adorable.
I think someone ordered "Chocolate Mousse Cake" and got "Chocolate Mouse Cake" instead.
Um, is it weird if I kind of actually LIKE the bloody handprints one? I could see myself making that...
Are they wedding rings at the front of that mouse cake???
So, I'm staring at the mice thinking... why? Then scroll down and see "why?" Great minds and all that. On the other hand, I know someone that is completely terrified of mice, so those would be an awesome birthday surprise.
Ohmigosh! That chocolate-covered rat-mouse-pig cake is a wedding cake! There's two gold bands at the front!
Hey! I exist! I mean, I think I do....
Thank you for the scare - I'm moving in with you two now since I will no longer be able to sleep! Man hands and blinking alien eyes.....yikes! Why does poor Pam have turn of last century planes on her cake? And why would a bakery think about charging almost $19 for a cake with "bloody" hands on it unless it is either the apocalypse is at hand (ha!) or in celebration of a new Halloween or Chainsaw Massacre movie? Will be looking for directions to your house in my email. Will bring my sewing machine and beads!
That last cake made me squeak in fear, which is the reason my husband always sits facing the door, because he's pretty sure if something dangerous happened, I'd just squeak and we'd all die. Bright side! If I died I could still come back and make terrifyingly decorated cakes!
I think #1 was trying to get out.
I almost didn't go past the baby, I wasn't sure I wanted to see that, let alone something that rendered the baby not worth mentioning.
Ok, anyone know what Laurance Sponge is *supposed* to be? Am I missing something?
The first cake: Bake'n'Shake.
Not the way to decorate.
Fourth cake: Kinda fun, just for a lark.
If your sense of humor's dark.
Ninth cake: "Babycakes" was cute, as a nickname.
Taking it this far is getting lame.
Last cake: When Marilyn blinks, it's unsettling on the screen;
If it were "in person," I'd stick with ice cream.
Jen, you have outdone yourself.
Heck I am calling Sam and Dean Winchester on that last cake. Looks like a demon to me lol. As for the other cakes we may need an exorcist as well. Sheesh lol.
The "transparent womb jello mold" cake, however, is in no way awesome. Just sayin'.
I would absolutely eat those chocolate rats. And their babies. WITH MY HANDS.
The blinking eyes on the last cake Freaked Me Out! Please, spill how that was done or I'll never fall asleep again.