Rest assured, dear minions, I won't be spoiling the new Captain America movie for you... because I haven't seen it yet.
HOWEVER. I'm seeing evidence of the Avenger's newest conflict throughout our nation's bakeries, and believe me, it's not pretty.
In fact, I've been wondering why everyone seems to be Team Cap, but then I saw Iron Man literally punching out the sun:
Now that's just Stark raving.
And let's not forget the whole exploding crotch thing:
Nobody wants the exploding crotch feature on their team, Tony. NOBODY.
I assume this is a picture of the aftermath:
It's like his torso is made of break-dancing lobsters... and his crotch just fell off.
Which has gotta hurt.
Meanwhile, our boy Cap is as American as apple pie:
Though I still question putting icing on pie.
Plus, Rogers apparently comes with an enormous laptop now?
So that's handy.
And let's not forget how supportive Cap is around Hanukkah:
Such a nice boy.
Everyone's also buzzing about Spider-Man's role, but frankly, I'm a little suspicious:
Look what happens when he trips!
So 'til John and I see the movie, I guess it'll just be Thor, Batman, and the rest of us turkeys:
Thor: "WHAT FOWL ENEMY HATH DARED INCUR OUR WRATH?"
Batman: "I'm Batman."
Me: "...yeah I'm going to the movie now."
Thanks to Makita, Kate P., Missy S., Melissa S., Corinne, Katie T., Kayt T., Suzanne S., & Jessica R. for keeping it civil.