An Egg-centric Performance
March 22, 2016 So. Ye seek humor and frivolity. Follow.
[swinging about dramatically]
BUT!!
Follow ONLY if ye be readers of valor, for the path to LOLZ is guarded by creatures so foul, so cruel that no man yet has laughed at them... and lived!
;)
"'Ewwo, guv'na."
BONES of full fifty men lie strewn about their lair!
;)
Or "carrot pops." Whatever.
So, brave readers, if ye do doubt your courage, or your strength, come no further, for DEATH awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth.
;)
Well, teeth, anyway.
You dare laugh? Foolish mortals, this is no ordinary rabbit!
;)
That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
This one's got a vicious streak a mile wide; it's a killer!
;)
And also on sale! HEYO!
And that one will snap your spine as soon as look at you!
;)
Not to mention get you really sticky.
I'm warning you! They've got huge, sharp-- eh-- they can leap about-- um -- just look at those eyebrows!
;)
"Hand over the Trix and nobody gets hurt."
Oh, it's just a harmless little bunny, is it? Piece of cake, eh? Well, don't say I didn't warn you!
;)
"Who wants to nibble our pastrami ears?!"
*****
RUN AWAY!
Hey Eric C., Jennifer D., Katie C., Mackenzie S., Lisa B., Byron K., Renee M., & Maureen P., somebody fetch the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, stat.
*****
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Reader Comments (43)
With every one of those I quoted "Princess Bride":
"Dear God - what is that THING?????!!!!!"
I read that entire thing in Tim the Enchanter's voice!
I'm a Veterinarian. I work with rabbits frequently. Whenever we get a moody one I quote Monty Python. "then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it." And I snicker. Then get blank looks from new staff and students. They are all under 30. They've no clue what I'm talking about.
Quick! The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!
I was thinking of booking a trip to Caerbannog this spring, but after seeing this I've decided to visit Teddington Lock instead. I hear the Fish Slapping Dance is particularly moving this time of year.
Remember to use the Holy Hand Grenade, thou must pull the pin & count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four thou wilt not count, neither shall thou count to two, excepting that thou then proceedith to three. And five is right out.
Yeah, I got the references.
Those are salami ears, not pastrami ears.
That sticky bun one--at first I thought the face parts were plastic flotsam, they look really "molded". But they are icing, now we're REALLY talking sticky.
Does that third one have a piece of bacon for a mouth??????
I soiled my armour I was so scared!
Rabbits are not rodents. They are lagomorphs!
I feel sorry for those young'uns who understand not the perfection that is Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Which I must watch again in the very near future.
#4 doesn't strike me as looking bad-tempered as much as it does "crazy"; I get a Dali-esque vibe (I.e.:"crazy")...and he seems to be waiting for something...maybe the perfect moment to POUNCE? =^~.-^=
Uh-oh, I laughed! This IS an especially funny post to me.
@gaelowyn: Shame. I knew Monty Python well in my early teens, and they split up before I was born. Maybe the fad comes in waves.
These are all frightening in their adulteration of the sweet, soft, fwuffy bunnies we've loved in life and literature. That the fwuffy bunny can be made to resemble the internal female reproductive system (second to last) goes beyond horribly, terribly wrong. (And now, dear ladies, I will always see a uterus with whiskers and evil eyebrows. Facial hair on the baby baker- thanks, bakery guy!)
That cinnamon bun rabbit{?] ooks like someone vomited on him,I lost my appitite
New favorite pick-up line!!! "I'd nibble your pastrami ears." or salami, whatever they may be.
Thanks Jen!
ONE... TWO... FIVE!!!!
The sticky buns one is actually the least bad. lol
The next-to-last one reminds me of the evil bunny villain in Hoodwinked.
# 5 has created a new form of uni-brow
Is #3 decorated with desiccated orange peel? And why are the bunny's teeth on his chin?
do you think that the bakers get done and are like "well, they can't all be winners."
Oh, Gaelowyn, I understand where you're coming from. Nobody understands my Monte Python references at work, either. I think they believe I'm some sick, twisted person who loves Spam, shrubberies, and the unexpected Inquisition. If I were in your class, I would laugh at your joke!
@sending When you said Dali-esque" I had to scroll back up, but yes- with the mustache, I totally see it. One of his many self portraits? Maybe he came back as a baker's nightmare?
RUN AWAY indeed!
@Lissa..."vomited"...sure, that's it.
And I'd take pride in serving #4 to my family. In fact, I'm inspired to attempt icing a rabbit face, though I fear I couldn't come close to crafting one quite as sweetly demonic.
5 is RIGHT OUT
@BraveSirRobin: Oh, go and change your armor.
@Anne E Lynch: Did you know Tim The Enchanter's name was actually an ad-lib? Really. John Cleese forgot the actual name of the character & subbed "There are some who call me (trying to remember) Tim." Personally I think it was brilliant; it makes the line and character so funny!
What SaraCVT said! Five is most definitely Right Out.
@ GingerSnap: Well, people are always going to look at you funny, because NOBODY EXPECTS the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise! Fear and surprise! Our TWO chief weapons are fear and surprise--and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope! Three! Our Three-- I'll come in again.
OH MY!! The things that cannot be unseen nor bleached fro the eyeballs.
@BADKarma THREE, SIR!
Those carrot pops ... bunny parts? ... have me furrowing my eyebrows in wonder. Are we SURE they're carrots? Anybody???
Ni!
@Va Beach alemaP: Neither! Or both! I give up...but that's one rabbit that belongs back in the magician's hat, In my opinion. (He should be nice and cozy in his flannel onesie! ) =^-.-^=
This was stunningly fabulous! LOVE!
These wrecks look like the Holy Hand-grenade of Antioch has already hit many of them! No child should be allowed to graduate college without being introduced to the wisdom of the Pythons!! For that matter maybe they shouldn't be allowed to graduate High School without it. These wreckcorators shouldn't have been allowed to graduate pastry school period!
Oh how this makes me wanna watch Holy Grail again. I love that movie so much! Nothing gets me laughing harder than that.. til I saw these cakes..oh the horror lol.
No 3 looks like it's covered in grated cheese
And we'd better not risk another frontal assault. That rabbit's dynamite!
@dr handle Don't you mean "Ekke Ekke Ekke Ekke Ptang Zoo Boing"?
*small voice in background* NI!
It's not Tim......it's Tim???? Dennis is another personal favorite of mine as well as Roger the shrubber!