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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Dec302016

The Best NSFW Wrecks of 2016

We're almost there, minions! We've nearly pried 2016's cold, dead fingers from the doorjambs of history and our lives. This weekend we can finally take a breath, have a drink, and get on with resenting 2017 for all the new terrible stuff that happens.

So as a final, affectionate "screw you" to the year no one will miss, here are my favorite double-take wrecks of 2016.

[whispering] Because they look like naughty bits. AW YEAH.

BALLS.

 

The longer you look, the dirtier this gets.

(Note the three gun salute - IF you catch my penis-y drift.)

 

I'm sure she's very proud.

 

Turns out the butt of every joke is a real peach!

 

Hey look, it's Doctor WOOHOOOO!

For the record, that's supposed to be a TARDIS, *not* a Sonic Screwdriver.

 

Remember the Brexit Balls?

Ahh, good times. Good, wrinkly times.

 

Or how about the time a baker accidentally put some extremely affectionate pandas on a baby shower cake?

PANDEMONIUM!

 

I bet we all remember this summer solstice:

 

Though for me, it's hard (heyo) to come to grips (heyo) with the stiffest competition yet:

The, um... Wangerfly? Dinkerfly? Winged Trouser Snake?

Whatever you call it, he's definitely happy to see you.

 

So so long, 2016. And hey, 2017? I think I speak for us all when I say:

 

GET OVER HERE.

 

Thanks to Rebecca H., Charlie, Linda H., Vicki S., Catherine B., Fay H., Jen L., Vici R., Ashlee B., & Carley C. for helping me usher out the year with dignity.

*****

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« Sunday Sweets Makes Some Realistic Resolutions | Main | The Best Misunderstandings Of 2016 »

Reader Comments (26)

I love that Vivian's cake also has sperm all over it. Evidence of her good. . . .luck.

And on the Brexit cake: when did champagne bottles grow butts? I have a couple in the fridge for tomorrow, and mine look nothing like that.

December 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

That TARDIS looks like something Captain Jack would make. Actually, they all do. Think one of his lives was the Baker of Boe?

December 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Last cake ("non-beef" beefcake?)
Love the lavendar, and it may be delicious...but I don't want to be picking hairs out of my teeth all night....
=^-.-^=

December 30, 2016 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

If that last cake is supposed to look like Tom Selleck, they nailed it.

December 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJoJo

Re: Doctor Woohoooo
Ouch.

December 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Def. Tom Selleck on that ladt one. I hope it was for a erotic writers convention!

December 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterMoonflwr912

JoJo, I think its supposed to be Ron Swanson. Though I can see where you're getting Selleck.

The only thing this post was missing was some Schweddy Balls!

December 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Actually, I have done fine in 2016. But if these cakes can't cheer you up, nothing can!

December 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterDorothy

I can see where most of these cakes lost their wrecky way, except for that first one... Why balls under a bow? What am I missing??? Or was that really the look they were going for?

December 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

When my now ex-husband and I were dating, I found a little statue of two pandas basically doing that exact same thing. Since it was at an "everything's a dollar" store, I *had* to buy it. He proudly displayed it on his desk at work. No one ever commented on it, to my knowledge.

(This was the same shopping trip where I bought a little ceramic wedding cake topper statue of a black couple, then used White Out to make the man white. I thought it was hilarious because he is white and I am biracial, with light brown skin. That plus the black and white pandas um.. enjoying each other...just made me giggle. The husband loved them both. I *may* have a warped sense of humor about my skin color.)

December 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterChelle

That's totally Tom Selleck!

December 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterKimS

WTF was that green thing supposed to be?? And why are the brexit balls so...wrinkled? D: May everyone's 2017 be better than their 2016.

December 30, 2016 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

It's a rocket ship!

https://youtu.be/enNOYsdgUOI?t=2m56s

December 30, 2016 | Unregistered Commenterkelly

1. Would love to know the background for this (pink, bowtie, balls) as those balls are deliberate.
2. I have no words!
3. Way to go Vivian!
4. Looks like an anaemic cherry or plum with rain damage but what's with the seaweed attached?
5. If it wasn't for the vaguely dalek looking bit I never would have guessed that was the TARDIS.
6. Baker hasn't seen a real champagne bottle and thinks the base is shaped like the plastic fizz bottles.
7. At least "congratulations" is spelt correctly.
8. Solstits look tasty!
9. Dickerfly?
10. Definitely Tom Selleck. Those eyebrows, moustache and abundance of chest hair can't be mistaken. Not as good as the Burt Reynolds Cosmo centrefold pose cake though :-)

December 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCaryl

Thank you Jen. This year needed to end with a giggle fit!

December 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterJubles

Cake #1: Maybe someone wanted a cake for their "fancy balls"?

December 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterPegasusKnightmare

Dammit. This post somehow gave me the hiccups. Which is funny, which makes me giggle more and hiccup more.

December 30, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterGillian

"Moist Loins" on a guy are actually a bad thing, generally speaking. If you know what I mean... (blinkblink)...

Okay, I just officially squicked myself out...

December 31, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Cannot stop laughing. Hubby looked over did a double take then went back to playing Witcher 3 lol. Still can't stop laughing at all of these cakes.

December 31, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

I think the first one, from another angle, would reveal a flower. You'll notice there are shadows for more than two "balls" of frosting visible. I think the rest of the petals are just hidden by the bow.

Regarding the last one, I hope it's not supposed to be a wreck. Poor word choice aside ("moist loins"??), it's a pretty darn good Tom Selleck.

December 31, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterS H

So the last cake is def Tom Selleck because the line on the cake is a quote from a movie he did called Her Alibi.

December 31, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLani

Whatever is going into (or coming out of) that Tardis, it looks painful!

December 31, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

I loved that Tom Selleck cake when it was first posted years ago. I love it still. Heck, I just love Tom Selleck. Mrrrrowwww!

January 2, 2017 | Unregistered Commenterkayk

That Tom Selleck cake is mine LOL!! The customer requested this and it was way too funny not to do. https://www.facebook.com/TiffanysHomemade/photos/a.160496963995551.34442.160496710662243/848478461864061/?type=1&theater

Tiffany

January 5, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterTiffanys Homemade

It is Tom Selleck; that is a line from one of his movies called Her Alibi. Great movie, awesome cake!

January 12, 2017 | Unregistered Commenteramcsisk

@TLC Go back and really LOOK at Vivan's Cake... sea-men is the least of her cake problem. Go back and look at what the baker thought was good... it wasn't her luck, Bud!

January 26, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterCurlylass

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