Wednesday
Dec142016
HE SEES YOU
December 14, 2016 [movie announcer guy]:
This Christmas...
get ready...
for a one horse...
open...
SLAY.
;)
"AAAIIIIEEEEE!!"
Run as fast as you can...
;)
And don't go outside:
;)
"ZOMBIE PENGUIN!"
And never...
;)
"THEY'RE COMING!"
EVER...
"Oh, thank goodness we found you, Santa! ....Santa?"
;)
"AAAAAIIIIEEEEE!!!!"
...FALL ASLEEP. ;)
"He's not real. He's not real. HE'S NOT REAL."
;)
"He's... right behind me, isn't he?
"Great. Juuuuust great."
[child singing]
He sees you when you're sleeping
He know when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good,
So be good...
;)
;)
;)
;)
...OR DIE.
Reader Comments (35)
re that Santa Bear's right foot? Shudder!!
You always have clever commentary with these photos but I think this is some of your best work.
Scalped and bleeding Santa may be the most traumatic cake up there. Poor Santa.
The saying is: "The ayes have it", right? That last one, man.... all that chocolate....!
But the ....EYES. .. Still. I have to. I just have to. Think of me sometime, when you're enjoying a kiss .... with a foil wrapper.
=^-.-^=
Jen...Bravo! Laughed so hard almost snorted coffee out of my nose! This post has special meaning for me right now. See, I'm "Elf Mama" in charge of a special event, my Fire Dept. loads up 6 fire trucks a/k/a sleighs, with teams of a firefighter Santa, Elf and helpers and visits over 170 homes in one night, to deliver gifts and fun to all the families that signed up. This is a fund-raiser for our volunteer fire dept. Being in charge for the past 22 years, well can make moi a little nuts. On hell...a LOT nuts. Which probably explains why I'm laughing so hard at this post. I LOVE my duties as Elf Mama, don't get me wrong, but, well, oh crap, I can't explain why I find this so darned hilarious. Thank you for the laughs once again Jen!
I came here to comment that the Santabear's right toes/claws were more disturbing to me than his eyes, but I see the astute Lady Anne basically beat me to it. *Joins in Lady Anne's shudder* Who knew bears had talons?!
Dude. This is legit. This could totally be a real movie. Somebody make it happen.
Or at least make the trailer. I volunteer to help with voices for it if someone else will make it.
Does that means that I have a perverted mind to hear the Psycho music instead of Christmas carols, after seeing those pictures?
Btw I'm Tere, new around around here. Pleasure to meet y'all. 😊
Omg that last cake 😲😲😲😲😲
I had a bad feeling but scrolled down anyway. Yes, one too many. It did cause the hair to stand with actual fear. Cookiemama, get some rest dear ;)
You really can't blame Santa Teddy for being angry. Heck, I'D be angry too, if someone had stabbed ME in the head with a Christmas-themed Phurba. I mean, SRSLY...
I predict this will be an actual movie within a decade.
Santybear's got a CONDOM on his ear, Mommy! MOMMY!
Hi, Tere! I've heard The Carol of the Bells being referred to as the Psycho theme of Christmas. We could meet half way and go with that.
GAH! What is up with that gingerbread man! Make it go away!
Instant classic!
And why does the Santabear have mis-matched ears to go along with his taloned feet? One ear is substantially larger than the other. Did the hat squeeze the other ear too much? Is that why he has such a diabolical look on his face?
It's the little t-rex arms that get me on the last one.
That, and that the hands plus the belt buckle make a second face.
No matter how you look at him, Santa Bear has a creepy-sad look on his face. Poor sad bear.
I have nothing witty to add, just wanted to say that this is my favorite cake wrecks ever! Trying not to laugh too loud next to my sleeping husband is not pretty
@ Jen -- Love all of the fun!
Folks, I've got to say that I LOVE the sleeping snowman head (on a cake ... or is it a cookie). At any rate, I'd buy it in a heartbeat.
Santa Bear: he has such tiny hands. Tiny little hands. The greatest tiny little hands.
Does the first one, the sunburned snowman head, have a handle on top?
That gingerbreadman is terryfying .... I hope I don't see it when I sleep tonight. Ohmygoodness.
Demonic gingerbread man is demonic.
If I were a movie trailer maker I woul be employing Jen to write the scripts. I heard every single bit of your commentary in the voice of 'that movie trailer guy'.
OMG. That bear has misshapen claws, either no arms or sawed off stubs, and demon eyes. Who the heck decorated that?
Well that last one could be Krampus in disguse lmao. Oh man dying here...
Do you see the decapitated Santa head in front of the bear? Do you see it? How big is that bear?
"Carol of the--?"
Hark! Hear the bells! Sweet silver bells!
All seem to say,
Run! Run Away!
Snow Man is here
With a cruel sneer
Gingerbread man
With evil plan
Run far, Run long
This is their song
All frightening
Nightmares to bring
One seems to hear,
"Give me your beer,"
From penguin feared,
Dead but still here.
Snow men are nigh, with orange sky,
And Santa cries blood from his eyes.
Fright-ened, we hide
Ho-ping they lied
But it's all true
And RIGHT BEHIND YOU!
Scare bear,
Stare bear,
Glares...
It looks like Creepy Gingerbread Man is wearing jorts. Even creepier.
I wont be sleeping tonight...👾 0.o
I ate Santa! With fava beans and a nice chianti!
Murder Santa looks like he went to go get a "club sandwich".
(HEYOOOOO) :O)--<
The last cake. I want that for my birthday even though my bday is in February. Also I like how you zoomed in on the cakes eyes. Creepy and SO FREAKING FUNNY!!! LOL!!!
That bear cake... Though the proportions are wrong in a lot of places, they went through the trouble to fairly neatly pipe icing over him, just to give him those sloppy, creepy eyes? I just... I don't understand. Cake Wrecks is breaking my ability to understand human beings, beyond appropriately snarky and humorous commentary.