National Cowboy Poetry Week, 2016
January 21, 2016 Not gonna lie, minions: Cowboy Poetry Week is one of my favorite weeks of the year here on Cake Wrecks. Because you just never know how much fun writing cowboy poems is 'til you try... and fail spectacularly. EMBRACE THE BAD, MY FRIENDS.
My horse done went and joined Yoga
She loves it and won't ever quit!
My horse done went and joined Yoga
Now this is how she likes to sit.
;)
*****
Oh, what a hoot,
There's a snake in my boot!
Yet over the hissing
I see the other one's missing
So I guess the point is now moot
;)
STOMP STOMP
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Trapped in a casket of societal expectations
Bound by tradition, restricted by custom
But I am more
More than these trappings
More than my job and my people!
;)
So cool it with the cow cakes already, Mom.
*****
Whoa there, Nelly!
Whoa there, generic horse name!
;)
You're both drunk.
*****
I asked for a western to see,
You said, "watch this, trust me!"
What you didn't say
(And it's so not ok)
Is that it was Toy Story 3!?
;)
[ugly crying]
*****
I ride and I rustle
And sometimes I shoot.
I'm a cowboy - a cowboy!
NOW WHERE'S MY OTHER BOOT?
;)
Oh, there it is.
Er, I mean, what bliss!
I thank ye most kindly
For being... behind...ly...
[awkward pause]
I'M OUT.
Thanks to Kelly G., Katie F., Cassie H., Julia K., Silvia C., & Angela P. for rustlin' up today's wrecks.
*****
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Reader Comments (20)
If Frankenstein's monster was a cowboy, those boots would look 'divine' on him.
Great verses Jen!
It's a shame about poor Nellie, her friend, and the random earthquake-leveled flotsam on that cake, because otherwise the artistry is beautiful. It's like a happy little Bob Ross painting.
I am so confused. Is that a BAND-AID at the top of the Toy Story cookie???
Okay, now I can say I've seen an artist's abstract rendering of a cow...in cake...erm...
Aside from the all the "dead" horses, it's the "Holly" cow that nails it. ROTFLMAO! Truly!! Love this blog!
I would actually really love to be the recipient of that deconstructed cow cake. I think it's brilliant.
This cowgirl is cracking up. :)
Those are some of the ugliest (not the scariest) cakes I have seen Dx
Wreck number two looks like a poo boot. Here in Texas, this occurs pretty often but not to THAT degree. Someone needs to muck out the stable!
I hope Holly Cow had a happy birthday in spite of that cake
Note to bakers who insist on using edible image paper: always keep extra ink cartridges.
Um...the INK is edible too, right?
Peotry yay!
"Holly cow" has me literally laughing out loud. I think I'll start saying that instead of "holy cow."
Purple mountains majesty. Yep.
Oh I love the drunk horses lol. Wow. What a way to celebrate.. uh what were the drunk horses celebrating? Lol.
Holly cow! It looks like them plaque stabbed is coming after my molar!
Cowboy Poetry Week always reminds me the of the Bubba Bo Bob Brain episode of Pinky and the Brain:
I am a lab rat I escaped from my cage. Never had a job, never earned minimum wage. But you will respect me YES! Once my plan is unfurled... You will call me your leader, I'll be king of the world!
Ain't half bad. Ain't half good, either.
Her name was Holly Cow, and the fellas all said 'Wow!'
The prettiest dang baker on the range,
But what Holly did with fondant would leave anyone despondent
For the cakes she made would all be mighty strange.
There were wonky stars and boots, was the woman in cahoots
With some demon out of decoratin' hell?
And a horse doin' asanas? Was she totally bananas?
She could wreckerate in buttercream as well...
As the person who sent in the drunk horse cake, I feel like it's important to note that yes, I do live in Wisconsin.
Okay, the first horrible boot cake.....did anyone else pick up on the fact that those decorations on the sides are totally and completely made of craft foam sheets? Like the completely non-edible kind you pick up at Wal-Mart for your Sunday school class when you're ten minutes late, super tired, and completely out of options for a "lesson?"