A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
September 3, 2015 First there was the Rainbow Erection:
;)
Then there was the Rainbow Ejection:
;)
And now, presumably a good 30 minutes later, our nation's bakeries give us this:
;)
The Marshmallow-Topped Drippy Rainbow Wang... Confection
(AND IT STILL RHYMES!)
Thanks to Myra D., Aimie T., & Diana W. for making us wonder just how long bakers can keep this up.
*****
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Reader Comments (39)
Your p----- jokes are always funny! It helps that just about any joke about that is funny. But you make it rhyme!
I have no idea how that last one is defying gravity, but I wouldn't want to eat it.
Added bonus on that last one--there's a wang within a wang! The little purple thing looks more like picture 2, sad sad wang. Lol
...presumably a good 30 minutes later... <snerk>
What I don't get is why these bakers think it's a good idea to sculpt something like that entirely out of icing. Who wants to eat a great big mouthful of icing? Eeeeew.
This is just plain ugly. No sugarcoating it. Ugly. How do these things pop up in decent bakery cases?
And i'm with you, Callista; a mouthful of that much frosting is more than I'd ever swallow.
If they keep it up for more than four hours, they should probable consult a doctor. :p
Gives a whole different meaning to "Taste the Rainbow". Sorry, Skittles...
#3 is a real "what the bleep were they thinking?" case. Not just because of the accidental-wang factor but as Callista said, who would want that much frosting? I get what they were "going for" --a rainbow shining down from a cloud-- but the intended design just doesn't work for a cupcake & is poorly executed to boot, it looks more like a half melted pillar candle, haha.
I'm guessing there is something like a pretzel rod in there, but the whole thing certainly doesn't look edible.
This makes me want to go on antibiotics for the rest of my life.
If they'd done it right, the marshmallow would be wearing a smiley face.
As unintentionally phallic as these items are, these comments have my inner 12 year old about to choke trying not to laugh uproariously.
I'm not sure what's *supposed* to be going on here, but I am sure I don't want it around my kids. Or my cake. Or me.
Also, I agree with @Callista. I definitely don't want a big mouthful of that...icing.
These must be representations of the well known warning, " ....lasting more than four hours" Scary. They are in need of a visit to a Cake-y Emergency Department. Jen your poetry is PRICELESS! Hee-hee! meo
i think that marshmallow is suppose to be a paint pail, pouring out a rainbow. but the handle is more than a little suggestive. and yes, there must be a pretzel rod inside the rainbow to hold it up. as a baker, i think the idea is cute, but the execution is wrong. so wrong....
the perfect desert for your pride parade after party.
"Someday we'll find it, the rainbow erection, the lovers, the dreamers and me..." that has always been one of my favorite songs!
I see the marshmallow as a paint can, not a cloud, so it doesn't look too bad. Other than the mouthful-of-frosting thing.
@dawn -- Thank you! That must be what they were trying for!
@LadybugFaerie Your comment has me laughing till I'm crying!
I still want the cookie cutter.....
I believe the third one needs a referral to a good urologist. It's not supposed to be multi-colored or have quite so many deep ridges.
These pictures filled me with dejection,
The frosting's no deflection
Of the shape.
On you there's no reflection
If you ask for an inspection
Of that drape.
@LadybugFaire --- BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Paint can! Of course! I could NOT figure out what that was meant to be. This is why I always check the comments again later in the day.
I thought the marshmallow cloud was having multi colored diarrhea, hence the sad face on the marshmallow. I couldn't eat any, it makes my fillings hurt just looking at it!
Love, love Rainbow Connection. These cakes, not so much.
@Old Marshmallow: I heard your post in Dieter's voice from the SNL Sprockets skit. Heehee! "Geshmack mein Regenbogen!"
It's not easy being ween-ie.
Love that song, but now all we will think of is this whenever we hear it.
The 1rd one looks like the backside of the NBC peacock.
I see that last one as a marshmallow puking a rainbow....
@ Callista: ME, that's who! I never ever could get enough icing, and some of the babies here make my mouth water!!
That last one's actually pretty impressive.
I think the last "cake" is supposed to be a rainbow trout. Just assume the baker's exposure to fish is limited to cheddar crackers...
Meanwhile Freud rolls over in his grave.
....What happens if the last one defies gravity for more than four hours?
...maybe I don't want to know...
That second one's pretty flaccid compared to the others. Personally I'd have named it the Rainbow Dejection.
@ Angie
So macho, even their wangs have wangs.
I submitted the amazing cupcake with the marshmallow tip. My boyfriend and I found that at the grocery store. We were just blown away by it and I was super sad that it was after hours because I wanted to buy the damn thing. Of course, it was gone when I went back. That particular grocery store still does pretty terrible cupcakes but none so spectacular as that one. No indication anywhere in the case as to what that was supposed to be.