Monday
Apr202015
These Wedding Wrecks Could Use A Fairy Godmother
April 20, 2015 So this is love
;)
Mmm hmm mm mmm
So this... is love?
;)
So this is what makes life
;)
"divine"
;)
I'm all aglow
;)
Mmm hmm mm mmm
And now I know...
;)
The key to all heaven
;)
is mine!
;)
So this is the miracle
;)
That I've been dreaming of!
Mmm hmm mm mmm
Mmm hmm mm mmm
So this... is... love!
;)
;)
Thanks to Jesse R., Laura G., Kim J., Casey J., Margaret S., Vickie S., & Anony M. for the wrecky ever after.
*****
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Reader Comments (36)
Bippity boppity EWWW.
The first one looks like someone sucked the chocolate off Whoppers and threw them on the cake naked.....
And they all lived crappily ever after.
Why am I so impressed that the square cake is actually kind of constructed right...It's the decorating that failed miserably.
Gotta LOVE Cinderella's duckface...she must be practicing her selfies.
Cinderella's arm looks like ramen noodles
These are actually a bit closer than most wrecks. You gotta give them that.
I really don't get these way-too-popular wedding cake toppers. WHY would you want to advertise that your groom was not only reluctant to marry you, but had to be physically forced to, & you are the kind of woman who would provide the force? "May the force be with you" is NOT meant for weddings!
I think I woke up my husband choke-laughing at that pic of Cinderelly. :O indeed, Cinderelly!
Pretty much all I can take away from these is this: Please: take these away!
And sure, the square cake is "kind of constructed right" (thanks,miss_paper!)...considering that it was done by Frank Lloyd Wrong.
@Medith: Those are suspiciously detailed "instructions" you related...I don't suppose you had "first-tongue" knowledge of such an act?
And would you look at Cindy?! The poor girl-she's shivering so badly her skin's all wrinkly and goose-bumpy. Somebody give her a sweater, stat! (Although, her "skin" looks as if IT has been knitted! Is that what they call a cable stitch?) =^-.-^=
Ummm. Ahhh. Hmmm. Go for the creamy middle? My husband, soon to be FOTB, is now very, very afraid.
The castle cake looks like it started to slide when Cinderella reached out to yank her prince/groom back in line. I thought HE was the one who hunted her down.
And that last one: Isn't putting Minnie and Mickey with Cinderella's coach kind of mixing metaphors?
No wonder Cinderella looks so horrified. . . .
If the wedding actually took place at Medieval Times, the castle cake is perfect.
The gray one with the poo vine made me choke on my coffee. And what is that topper supposed to say? "I've been framed!!!"
@kt, I see the ramen now and cannot unsee it.
Did everyone notice the piece of cake removed from the first wreck? They're going to serve it like that? Like little stair stepped pieces of cake? And my personal favorite, it'll be tasteless and dry because the wreckorator didn't seal the cake first. Yuck. Does anyone else know the expression "poo rolls down hill"? And yet the second wreck seems to have that backwards. It's Cakeception. That red ribbon wreck would have benefitted greatly from a cake leveler (or whatever the contraption that slices the domed top of the cake off so it's perfect is called). Everyone else got what they deserved asking for insanely elaborate cakes from a baker that clearly didn't know how hard they would be, but the tombstones in front if Mickey and Minnie still seem slightly inappropriate for a wedding cake:)
Cindy knows what I'm talking about. Now I'm going to go get her some mascara, 'cuz those eyes are freaky!
That first wreck? I stared at that one for a little while because I was so confused. They cut through two tiers and the fondant covering the board... it was all one piece. So. Con. Fused.
In order of appearance:- Beautiful..Oh dear..So lovely..Um it's grey..Quick add some lights & hope nobody notices..Well the shape is OK, but it looks like my husband's tiling..Ha ha ha ha..I love this cake..This one not so much, what colour is that?Bile?The "door" to the coach is brilliant tho..aaaaaaaaaaaaah why?
The last one of Cinderella was "icing on the cake" and made my shriek with laughter. My cat got worried, then annoyed and left.
On the castle cake, maybe the bride isn't yanking the reluctant groom towards her, but is, in fact, saving his life holding on to him as the cake collapses underneath him?
As for Cinders... nyuk nyuk nyuk
These are all pretty bad, but the square cake with the silver and purple squares attached to the front reminds me of a refrigerator covered in magnets. I find neither the original nor the wreck appealing as a wedding cake.
HAHA the one with the red ribbon and the lights on it, looks like a ninja turtle to me...
Also, the "castle" one; the bride is clearly just trying to help her husband not fall off of it LOL
these are great.
The square cake reminded me of minecraft.
Re: the cakes made of two squares........all I can see is some sort of futuristic refrigerator covered in Post-It notes!
It really IS acceptable to turn down a cake that's beyond your talent level. Really and truly!
Cinderella borrowed those eyes from Tywin Lannister.
The Mickey & Minnie cake shows the coach doors open but with a garland across each opening that will either choke or decapitate descending patrons if the fact of the coach being filled with cake so that there is no where to sit doesn't deter them first...lol
I also can not un-see Cindy's Ramen Noodle arm!! LOL!!
I am still trying to figure out how the second cake ended up cut like that?! UM...??!! Where is the rest of the cake?
Cinderella? Naw... It's Lisa Simpson all grown up.
That Cinderella is looking straight to my soul D:
A Borg cake?
And now scary Cinderella for the brides wedding enjoyment lol. Can they make her look less scary? Probably not more fun to scare people than get them to buy your cakes lol. Wow.
I always can't help but wonder when I see this sort of post: Did the wreckorator actually look at the final product and think 'nailed it'? Or was it something more along the lines of 'maybe no one will notice' or a simple 'oy'? Other than the first cake and the odd square cake, I would never have even guessed that it was supposed to look like the inspiration cake if I was not directly informed.
Wreck No. 1 isn't THAT bad, compared to the rest of them. Whatever happened to a simple white, tiered cake with pink roses made of edible icing? Not only is the bride trying to save her man from falling off the castle cake, the lion in the doorway is desperately trying to push it back into an upright position. Sadly, the cake is doomed to collapse.
If I were an astrophysicist, I would ask for Cake #1. I like the "meteorites and pock-marked moonscape" effect. Perhaps if the surface had visible icing sugar in fine dusty drifts it would be even better? And little spaceman footprints! And a cheap paper flag crammed into it!
Alternately, it reminds me of the little sand balls left on the beach first thing in the morning when all the little hermit crabs have been active overnight. If it had 2 cute crabs on top, it would be adorable for a beach wedding.
Cake #2: Revenge of the Trees!
As the happy couple posed for their wedding photos, little realising that frames are typically added AFTER the photo is printed, horrified guests frantically tried to warn them of the enormous Strangler Fig creeping toward them...
Cake #3. Well look, we've all seen worse. It didn't fall over. It isn't bleeding. I give this effort a B+.
Cake #4 doesn't look quite like the inspiration, I think my toddler could have cut the squares neater and the smudge is pretty careless, but, frankly, I am more inclined to eat it than the inspiration - what IS it making those squares so shiny? Are they silver bullion to help the couple start their new life and buy a tropical island?
#5: I think the castle is trying to dissociate itself from the tacky Runaway Groom topper. It may be badly built, but it has some dignity!
#6: I suspect asking for a cake that complicated from anyone but the original bakery is asking for failure. It could have been a lot worse!
Cinderella's 65+ now, can everyone stop picking on her for not botoxing her wrinkles? Let the lady age however she feels comfortable! I think she is quoting Arthur Dent here : "My left arm's come off, too! Hell, how am I going to operate my digital watch now?"
I think the lesson for today is "check the bakers can make flat surfaces and sharp corners before asking for a design that depends on them".
The last one scared me.
CBushLite - I'm pretty sure they took the slice out to show that there was absolutely no support structure in the cake. That's APPALLING for a professional bakery. I'm shocked the entire thing didn't just collapse!
Bit late to the party, but the cake with the lights on it, is anyone else seeing the love child of the Michelin Man and a Dalek?