Flower Power
March 5, 2015 When it comes to wedding cakes, there's a right amount of flowers...
;)
[Note: this is not the right amount]
...and a WRONG amount of flowers:
;)
If you listen verrry closely, you can actually hear the cake screaming.
Bakers know a hefty blanket of fake blooms can cover a multitude of cakey sins:
;)
...including the fact that the groom forgot to pick up the cake.
[Fun fact: this was actually the mother-of-the-bride's hat.]
However, at some point the flowers and flotsam cross over from "charming camouflage" into "DEAR GOD, WHAT IS THAT THING?"
;)
When bakers play "To The Pain."
Many bakers use silk flowers to avoid the problem of brown droopy blooms on their cakes:
;)
Others use silk flowers to ensure it.
{I'm almost afraid to ask, but why do they even make roses in those colors?}
Just remember: sometimes, for some cakes, there simply aren't enough flowers in the world:
;)
In these instances, I advise a large shrubbery.
And maybe a few more of those Keystone Lights.
Thanks to Roger G., Alison V., Jen, Anony M., Stacey H., & Michelle C. for making all the two-year-old flower girls out there look extra talented today.
*****
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Reader Comments (50)
"Take these cakes. The cats won't leave them alone."
"Pay the lady, Patsy".
I am seriously curious HOW they made the black circles on the Duck cake at the end, did they really spray black circles on?!
As a Cake maker myself I love this page and all the awful creations you post but dont know HOW people get away with charging for these terrible wrecks!
"When bakers play 'To The Pain.'"
BRB, gotta go die of laughter . . .
Is...is that supposed to be pink camo? /shudder
Roses are Red (A song so old that even I had trouble remembering it)
A long, long time ago
I bought a wedding cake
It had a floral look
I’m sad to say
Roses are brown my love
Sometimes they’re beige
Bury that cake my love
It’s from another age
I asked for wedding ducks
On tasteful camouflage
Or squished down peacock plumes
For this, My Day
Roses are brown my love
Sometimes they’re beige
Burn down that cake my love
I'll fly into a into a rage
I’m just embarrassed now
It seems I have no taste
I should have simply bought
A cupcakecake
Roses are brown my love
Sometimes they’re beige
Throw out that cake my love
I’ve got a war to wage
while that last cake is bad I do like the duck toppers.
i'm laughing so hard at my desk at work (interiorly, of course) that i have tears running down my cheeks.
Every time you think you've seen the worst cake ever ... CW brings you these treasures.
"We want a... shrubbery!!"
Lets play a game of ''What Profesional Cake was that supposed to look like? ''
It's a shame, the first cake looks like it was done properly. Smooth frosting, even tiers. Then "Whammo!" A jungle grew out of it.
OMG! And yes, unfortunately they DO make fake roses in those colors 😣
Wow! We have gaggle of hot mess cakes today! I think the "bakers" for the To the Pain cake and the moldy pink one both had too many adult beverages (note the Sam Adams bottle by the To the Pain cake as well as the ever-classy Keystone Light can by the moldy pink thing). I'm really not sure who thought any of these cakes were a good idea....
I think I love the mother of the bride having enough sense of humor (hopefully) to donate her hat!
Top cake looks like it has belched crimson petals all over the place - "Clean-up on Aisle 3!"
That "thing" in the fourth picture is clearly Neville Longbottom's grandmother's hat, which she wears especially for weddings. Love the beer bottle accent. (Is that butter beer?)
The last cake has clearly been tortured with a blowtorch. Alert Amnesty International.
Talk about Flower OVER Power!
Perhaps they use all those flowers because the father of the bride smells of elderberries.
That last one... What? How? I just don't get it! I can't even think what the bride might have asked for - death by cake?
Ah, The Princess Bride. It'll be a sad day when the world can't be made better because of The Princess Bride! hehe.
Incidentally, have you guys ever done Sunday Sweets featuring The Princess Bride? I can't remember.
Such a shame on the first cake. They ruined a perfectly beautiful cake. SMH
Perfectly wretched, every one. "Its my big special day and I want it to be perfect, but I only want to spend about $50 on the entire affair. Thanks, K bye."
Ugh - that last cake looks like someone melted a box of Good & Plenty all over it! :p
I'm going to need to hear the WHOLE story on the "Mother-of-the-Bride's Hat" cake! (Plus a "before" and "after" picture would be nice.)
What did they do when it was time to serve the cake? Was it a place holder while someone made a quick Wal-Mart run for sheet cake?
I appreciated the Princess Bride reference. And felt the same way about all those poor defenseless cakes.
Who could have guessed that by the end of this entry, I'd go back to the first cake and think, "sticks and butterflies and love-lies-bleeding, eh, that's not SO bad."?
Fun fact: if your idea of a perfect wedding cake includes pink camo and rubber duckies, you are too young to get married.
All I can think looking at the second cake is that lilies are poisonous.
Is it bad to want to change the rules around so my eyesight goes sooner? Because after my feet and hands is way too late. I'm already screaming "Dear God! What is that thing."
The current fad of pink camoflage confounds me. Do some women prefer to hunt from pink trees? And if so, where are such pink trees to be found???
Oh, look: the 5th cake down appears to have brought its child along for the ride. Maybe it couldn't find a sifter.
I didn't know this was a national holiday...Ugly Cake Day. Boy, have you found a lot of ways to celebrate!
Yes people, the mother of the bride really was wearing a hat that looked like a poorly made cake AND those are real duckies on the last cake.
@sending ~ Thanks for making me snort at the front desk!
I need to know what that green stuff is hanging off the 1nd wreck. It looks like some of the weeds that grow in our horse pasture that even the horses won't eat. That can't be right, right? Wait, I forgot where I am. Of course that's probably exactly what it is...
one post containing both Princess Bride and Holy Grail references, and doing it perfectly...you rock!
thank you!
You killed my wedding cake, prepare to die...
In my perfect world Flowers never belong on a wedding cake. Not for no reason, just never ever.
that cake is really blue with black flowers, not white with gold and brown...
The pink cammo/duckie cake? I wonder if they got a good price on it because it had been in the bakery window long enough to dry out and develop cracks. Or else someone drew "the line" to be toed in front of the ducks.
If #TheDress has taught me anything, it's that Number 5's colors are probably actually blue and black.
Although it is sad that these get made in the first place; how can anyone be that desperate to actually pay for and then leave with these....um...creations?
Maawidge! Maawidge is wot bwings us togevah today...
Major points for the Princess Bride reference. I love how the Keystone photo bombed that last cake. I think it just might have been the classiest thing about that wedding!
"What are you wearing, cake from rose farm?"
"Khaki."
"Well, you sound hideous."
What are the shiny black things on the real ribbons, lilies, baby's breath, campanulas (yes?) cake? Leopards? With diamonds? Roar.
That first cake is almost Seussian in its sproingy-ness.
Lol. I do think the ducky topper is cute but the rest of these.. where the heck is the cake hiding? I would hide too if I had to be buried by flowers and weird looking things lol. Wow.
Some wreckers forget that the culmination of a wedding cake's existence is for the guests to eat it. Why decorate with beige, orange, and dried-blood silk roses that are made to be put on (dowager) dresses and millinery? Did the guests all come dressed in those colors and were expected to take home a souvenir rose to add to the ensemble?
I think the cake with the duckies is supposed to have polka dots, not camo. The baker was too lazy to make fondant for the circles. Airbrush equals a bad idea. The ducks are cute though, if you're going for a light feeling. Why not? :)
Cake #2: There's a cake in there? Where? All I see are flowers. Did they lose the actual cake?
That pink camo cake looks like something my niece would want for her wedding, assuming she ever marries this kid she's engaged to. The ducks are cute, though.
That bottle of beer though.
(Btw, I'm a florist and this was awesome! )
We really need like buttons for the comments!
I don't know why I can't get over the height difference between the bride and groom in the second picture. I know I should be focusing on the nightmare in front of them, but I can't help wondering how that works?