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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Dec242015

8 Christmas Cakes So Bad They're Good (For A Belly Laugh)

'Tis the season to count your wreckage.

 

1) This cup of "Coco"

 

2) A Holiday Joint

I think it's an elbow.

 

3) Gingerbread X-Rays

DANGIT TSA IS NOTHING SACRED

 

4) Santa?

Even he doesn't know what's on his head.

 

5) A Cluster Cluck of Wrapping Paper:

Actual Conversation Between Me and John Regarding This Cake:

Me: [zooming in on wrapping] "Um, can you tell what this is?"
John: [squinting] "That's Santa... holding an accordion."
Me: [pause] "Is Santa a chicken?"
John: [longer pause] "Yes, yes he is."

 

6) Santa's "Sleigh":

I think I deserve a gold medal for figuring this one out, you guys.

 

7) A Snowman, Probably:

See the scarf and hat?

 

8) Poo-dolf, the Leech-Nosed Colon Cleaner:

Ho Ho NO.

 

Thanks to Sherri B., Allie D., Heather G., Surlana, Amelia K., Sydney B., Julie A., & Jeffrey C. for making it rain, dear.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (29)

Your gold medal is in the mail, Jen. And, "Poo-dolf, the Leech-Nosed Colon Cleaner" is one of the top 5 captions for 2015!
Bwaahahahahahahahahahaha

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

I propose that #7 is a "snow llama." Squint as needed.

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJen fan

I'm thinking that the decorator of #7 has never seen a Snowman. For the uninitiated, they only have three balls of snow, people!
Merry, Merry Jen and John(THOJ)! I was hoping you might have something today with HO HOs, but I guess there's not a lot of opportunity for wreckage on those.

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterColin M.

ho ho NO! haha

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRachel Schaaf

I disagree -- #6 is clearly Santa-punzel letting down his beard.

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBubbles

Rudolph is cashing in on the post-holiday diet craze.
*cringing*

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

I'm pretty sure #7 is a Christmas cow, wearing a blue and white hat for Hanukkah.

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterElisabeth

The cocoa one made me think of the stay puft marshmallow man

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

If you thought The Little Drummer Boy was annoying, you never heard The Little Accordion Chicken.
Don't even bother reading the lyrics, you already know how bad it is.

Come they told me
(accordion sounds)
A naked spice cookie
(accordion sounds)
We have a huge Coco
(accordion sounds)
Also a wrecked elbow
(Accordion sound, accordion sound, accordion sound)
So to honor him
(accordion sounds)
When we come

Little cookie
(accordion sounds)
I’m edible like you
(accordion sounds)
I have a gift that’s free
(accordion sounds)
It’s for the spice cookie
(Accordion sound, accordion sound, accordion sound)

Shall I play for you
(Accordion sound)
My accor-ordion
Santa nodded
(Accordion sound)
He tripped upon his beard
(Accordion sound)
I played accordion
(Accordion sound)
I played my best for him
(Accordion sound, accordion sound, accordion sound)
Then he ran from my
(Accordion sound)
Accor-ordion

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Hm, pretty sure #5 is supposed to be a "French Hen"... 'Cause you know that all the French are legally required to have one if not more of the stereotypical accessories- accordion, skinny cigarette, stripety shirt and/or beret.

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJ Wolfe

I'm pretty sure #7 is frosty standing upon the bodies of his beheaded enemies.

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi B.

I see nothing wrong with the amount of marshmallows in that "coco".

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Forget "Ho ho ho!" These posts were "Ha ha ha!" So was SuBee's song!

I laughed out loud at work at Jen and John's conversation! SO accurate!!

This post made my day, tied with the fact that our office just looked up all the alternative lyrics to "Pop Goes the Weasel," and were very amused by some of them! We are a prosecutor's office (Hey, it's Xmas Eve and we're light on criminal matters today! They are all being good for Xmas so less work for us!) who often prosecutes poaching cases and there are two hilarious verses about a poacher, which made us all giggle like little kids. Wiki it if you want a grin.

Merry Christmas all you Cake Wreck junkies and staff!!!

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

@ SuBee, I will consider you post my first Christmas gift, Thanks!

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

This is one of those posts that just keeps getting better and better as you scroll down:

1. Mmm, frothy.

2. You see an elbow, I see a gift-wrapped ray gun.

3. The electric hair and the TSA quip cracked me up.

4. Forget what's on his head, what happened to his nose??

5. Accordion Santa Chicken for the win!

6. If the albino Santa slug is a sleigh, does that mean the brown swirls are reindeer??

7. Festive, winter-prepared snail.

8. Ho-ho-HONK!! (I literally have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard...)

Well done, well done indeed.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good wreck!

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

A Santa chcicken with an accordion. ...

You know, yesterday they said we MIGHT get an inch of snow today. I woke up to 3 inches of snow, with 3-4 more inches to come, and me needing to drive an hour to get to Christmas Eve dinner. I was still recovering from that when I saw ... this.

Brain freeze. Total brain freeze. Yep, definitely.

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

#1...so...that's what happened to Ms Chanel!

#6 It turns out Santa's been in his larval form all this time! Soon he shall emerge from his cocoon with a beautiful set of wings.... boy, are the reindeer are gonna be ticked when they find out they're out of jobs!

#7 is just amazing. How many times did they try to make that snowman? It looks like multiple attempts were scraped off, then they had two more failures before they finally "succeeded" in making a three conjoined circles.... all that effort to make a simple snowman, and it just looks like a big pile of shi-- er ah.... snow...yeah... >.>

#8 looks rather Q*Bert-ish... "@!#?@!" indeed!

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

The holiday is not complete until the Christmas elbow arrives and will someone please put those flaming gingerbread people out of their misery? I think we are all in trouble if Santa is taking that sleigh tonight--it's not fit for land, air or sea and God help him if the red-nosed "pooh-deer" is pulling it!
Merry Christmax to all!

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

Merry Christmas! Thank you for bringing me good cheer all year long.

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

I was going to take a shot at a song beginning with "Been an awful good egg, Santa Chickie," but "Little Accordion Chicken" takes care of the holiday music. Permanently. Bwa ha ha! Awesome, SueBee!!

The "Snowman" made me think of Calvin and Hobbes. To me, it looks like Calvin made a "snow cult" in the front yard, with blue-hatted Flaky preaching to his loyal followers, who are bowed before him.

Jen, I'm glad you could identify that "sleigh." I had a different thought about that one:

"Al, we've been watching the shopping teams competing in the Scavenger Hunt Mall-a-thon, and it's a neck-and-neck tie for the scarves, which goes hand-in-hand with the number of gloves they need to collect. Both teams are burning for the holiday candle items on the list, but the "Shopaholics" have booted the "Snow-maniacs" out of the galoshes category. While the teams are between quarters, let's go check on what Santa is doing...oh my! Santa hasn't even gotten out of bed yet! Let's go to Eddie with a mall-side update, before we see those three "Ho's" we've been hearing about, ha-ha."

Jen, "Dangit, TSA!" FTW!! ROFL!

Happy Holidays, everyone!

December 24, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

Maybe it's the wine, maybe it's because I had to move the entire Christmas tree (and ALLLLL the presents) into the living room because, and I quote, "it's weird to open presents in the dining room!", but the "Poo-dolf" made me so happy I didn't have a gigantic mouthful of liquid b/c I would have spit it all over my computer. And yes, I did sing it to the tune. Also - we have a stuffed Grumpy Cat with a Santa hat which says "Ho Ho No". It sums up my feelings toward this holiday season.

December 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Living in Washington, my first thought about "holiday joint" was something, um, a little more magical. I'm thinking there were two snowmen, but one lost his head. Remnants of it appear to be lingering behind. Thanks to all for making this site a welcome decompression place after days of stress and craziness at work. Merry Christmas!

December 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

Merry Christmas, Jen and John! Thanks for another year of laughs.

December 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKay

The snowman looks like he is tumbling down stairs or something lol. As for Santa's sleigh.. he looks decapitated and floating around on clouds.. kids run in fear lol.

December 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

#7 - Snowcentaur, definitely snowcentaur.

December 25, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArtisticulated

#5: am I the only one who remembers Chicken Boo? From Animaniacs? He played Santa in the Christmas episode, if memory serves. But I don't remember him playing the accordion.

Maybe it's Weird Al dressed up as Chicken Boo dressed up as Santa.


(God, I'm such a geek!)

December 26, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRoxy Random

#8 Impactful, or merely impacted? You decide.

December 31, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterrocketride

The joint elbow thing is a stocking

January 8, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterCc

I actually find the gingerbread x-rays pretty cute :>

March 28, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLeina

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