My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Jen's Head Case (Now With Monkeys!)

It's Monkey Day, you guys, and I have a sinus infection!!

Therefore, I will now illustrate the first 7 stages of getting a sinus infection... using monkey cakes.

Like ya do.


Stage 1) Hey, my head kind of hurts - but I'm sure everything's fiiiiiine.

Watch me do some improbable leg stretches!


Stage 2) Wow, this headache is getting particularly stabby.

...much like this banana.


Stage 3) I never knew eyebrows could scream.


Stage 4) I can't hear you. Are there cupcakes stuffed in my ears? It feels like there are cupcakes stuffed in my ears. Giant ones. With glass shard sprinkles.

I'll just smile and nod when people talk from now on.




Stage 6)

[sound of a menthol vaporizer chugging steam while Star Trek reruns play in the background]


Drooly, a vacant stare, & heavily medicated.

Yep, looks about right.


Thanks to Anony M., Donna L., Sue S., Ellen M., Alison S., & Angela J. I'll tell ya what stage 7 is once I get there, guys.


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Reader Comments (34)

I'm sorry that you're feeling junky
And your head feels like some leaden monkey
Soon you'll be in good shape
Like a non-cupcake ape
Get well soon from your de-voted flunky

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Me when I am sick.

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Oh, that last one is a literal LOL. Poor you, Jen! I really hope you feel better soon. And you celebrate with GOOD monkey cakes.

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Well, the gorilla head is remarkably lifelike, other than the fact that he doesn't have ears, but honestly, I wonder if the rest of the decorators have ever seen a monkey. Orange skin? Blue eyes? A narrow waist?

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

That last one.... ugh. Thanks for the nightmares.

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHelen

Those last two... what was the baker thinking? I may never know.

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCore24

Feel better soon, Jen, and thanks for posting despite feeling like a cupcake-cake "monkey"!

Something about that last one's face reminds me disturbingly of Sheldon Cooper.

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBibliovore

Aww, I hope you feel better soon. I recently had a sinus infection, but I didn't really have symptoms. All I had was pain in the bridge of my nose. I felt like I had been punched in the face, even though I've never actually been punched in the face, I kinda imagine that's what it would feel like. I was fine unless I touched it, so I'd be going about my day and brush my hand against my nose for whatever reason and DEAR GOD the pain. It was somewhat a relief to find out it was a sinus infection after all.

As for these cakes, no amount of antibiotics will help.

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

That last one is just scary! What is that supposed to be? Someone's child??
Hope you're all better soon!

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBetty Martin

Not saying anything about the 5th appendage on the second one. Nothing....

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterdoctor teresa, the nurse

Feel better soon, Jen. Took me 36 days and three different kinds of antibiotics to get rid of mine. But on the bright side, there is not a germ left in my entire body!

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTriciaL

Trying to picture the occasion for which a decapitated ape head (stage 5) would be requested...Nope, although I would like to order one for my sister's birthday! Can't imagine ordering that cake for anyone you liked...

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

And Stage 7 is.... being comatose?

Feel better soon, Jen!

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie E.

Number 2 monkey is about to be punched in the head by his own appendage.

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterChiaroScuro

As a child, i lay awake with the terror of a gorilla in the hay loft of our rickety barn. So sure he was up there, hungry, hunted and ready to tear me apart ( Thanks to a long- forgotten tv show "Whirlybirds") Of course, I grew older, learned to think rationally, had some therapy...and now it all comes back! So. Frightening. (Well, maybe not that first one, with the white pubic hair. That one is silly.)
Please feel better soon.
( I was going to promise a magic elixir to make you better instantly..."and monkeys might fly out of my butt". Party on, Jen)

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered Commenters.marie

Jen, I hope you feel much better soon! Screaming Eyelashes, great name for a garage band. :)

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterChicago

I think the last one is the missing link. The head is semi-human. It is terrifying.

I don't do it often enough but the last time a sinus made it painful for me to touch my face, saline irrigation twice a day cleared it up in a few days. (The next step would have been going to the doctor for an antibiotic.)
Neti pot or the squeeze bottle type
Distilled or boiled water (do NOT use tap)
Salt mixture. You can buy packets or look up a recipe online. (If the later, use a recipe with baking powder in it. It lessens the sting.)

It's gross and it does sting, but it will flush out the garbage packed in your sinuses.

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJane

Can you do Urinary Tract Infection next? I can provide...inspiration. O_o No? OK.

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterHairfish

I keep expecting that last one to turn its head and say, "Bazinga!" It really does look like Sheldon fell off the back of Howard's scooter...into the biggest mud puddle ever! ("HOW-AAHHHDD! Ask ya liddle friend if he needs some castah oyull!")

Jen, I hope you are able to snort beverages out your nose again real soon!! Wall O Snot isnot much fun. To me, sinus infections usually feel like someone is stabbing me in the eyeball.

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJMixx

The second one....monkey boobs!

The second to the last one - the gorilla head -- pretty nicely done, just needs the final details! :)

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Does anyone else see traces of Alfred E. Neuman in the last one?

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGina

on monkey 6: that face was like what the heck! the rest of the monkey was pretty good i think the baker forgot that it meant to be eaten...

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered Commentera person

You forgot the "I'm sure the pain from drilling holes in face to relieve the pressure will be preferable to what I am feeling now" stage. But seriously, I hope you feel better soon.

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJan C.

The last one reminds me of Jumanji, in a creepy way.

December 14, 2015 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

Judging by these cakes I am very scared what stage 7 might be.. very scared indeed lol. Get well soon!

December 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

YUM! Look at all that icing on CCC3. Stand back everybody, I got dibs!

December 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBea

Then I will, doctor theresa, monkeys have tails.

December 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBea

The face on the first one is kinda cute, even if he does have lacquered dried pears for ears. The rest of him, not so much. The wrecker should have quit while he/she was a "a head." I agree, the last one sure looks like Sheldon.

December 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

I think the last one is Chakka (sp?) from the old TV show Land of the Lost.
So basically a missing

December 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKat

I don't usually get sinus infections but my ears are really prone to them. Last week I went to my doctor for an ear infection. And the very next day my ears were really hurting and then I got a cold.
I'm better now, but my ears are still plugged up and the drops and pills my doctor gave me don't seem to be working much. :(

December 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLora

That last monkey looks like a junkie.

December 15, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterBriana

@ Lora, I hope you are feeling better really soon!

December 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMary Kay

That last one - both my husband and I went "Sheldon?" at the same moment. Now I can't unsee it.

Thanks for that.

January 2, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterSquirrel

Ugh, sinuses infections. I've had only one but I will remember it. My upper jaw and my left cheek were hurting really bad, as if someone had hit me.
'The Gorilla head is just the most creepiest cake I've seen here. For now.

March 31, 2016 | Unregistered CommenterLeina

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