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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jan202015

This Kid's Gonna Need a Wheelbarrow

 

 

 

 

 

 [NSFW due to language & general double entendres hilarity.]

 

Thanks to Christy S. for prompting Jen to utter the words "scrotal texture" today. Which is just plain nutty.

*****

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Reader Comments (42)

Eeeww.

That would ruffle anyone's truffles.

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCC

Man, OH man! I only THOUGHT I'd been disgusted by cake wrecks before. Nothing has prepared me for a headless/torso-less baby showing off his huge scrotum. I can't even express how much I love this cake. New favorite, for sure!

Love the art, too, John! Hope your surgery went well, and hope the recovery will be quick and painless.

Wish you both all the best. Thanks for the daily hilarity here and all the inspiration over on Epbot. You two rock!

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKW

My first instinct was that it looked like a raw chicken under that blanket

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterLisal

My first thought when I saw that was the placenta, which is just as disturbing. And less funny. The cake is entertaining, but your title & comics & graphic are the...icing on the cake.

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterbennet

I haven't the words to thank you for allowing me to start my day with John and Jen and Bret and Jemaine.
So, "thank you." Just, "thank you."

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Wow, that is some severe scrotal edema. Best get baby to a pediatric urologist - stat!

That clip is hilarious *snerk*

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

"MASTER BAKER", huh? John, is that a play on words, or are you playing with....us.(?) Oh, never mind. As for that cake; I can only wish that they were going for a "butt" look. Butt we all know differently. That poor kid is going to need more than a wheelbarrow; he'll be wanting a derrick.
@CC: May I borrow your truffle-ruffler? I think the expression is charming!!! Where did you dig that up?
=^~.~^=

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Well, that was certainly a grey area of anatomy.

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

Needed that giggle this morning! I'm always watching the clock for 9am to roll around to check out the latest post :) Hope everything went well on the surgery, John!

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

Now all day I'll be singing that B-52's song:

Love Sack, baby (a-Love Sack, baby)
Love Sack, baby, Love Sack
Love Sack, baby, Love Sack
Love Sack, that's where it's at...

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermel

Or else the song should be AC/DC's "Big Balls"...

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

It's a really full diaper with a weird texture. I'm just going to say that over and over until I convince myself that's what it is.

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Scrotal texture....ummm.....wow. My first thought was cow udder. Which makes as much sense as a huge scrotum that is a disturbingly different texture than the feet. That poor, poor teddy bear.

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

Reminds me of the South Park... this kid will not need a hoppity-hop.

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSandy in So Fla

A pillow? Hoping for the best here...

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterErica

No and NO wtf is with these bakers?

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I've got it--it's a cake showing TWIN bums: "Tri" and "Stan." Stan was originally sitting upright, playing with the cubes, until Tri toppled him over and pushed Stan head-first into the depths of the cake. To make sure he'd stay there, he sat on top of his brother. We now only see Stan's butt sticking out from the cake since the blanket is too short. Meanwhile, Tri's feet + covered butt remain on top, looking slightly more graceful than Stan's derriere. Boys will be boys! Still disturbing though...

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGrammar Gracie

Oh... the texture!
Hope surgery went well and that your recovery will be speedy. Thanks for the awesome sick figure drawings. I see another book in your future.

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

First, I thought of The Blob. Then I thought of Slither. Which luckily made me STOP thinking about scrotal texture. [shudder] None of these thoughts should be related to a baby cake.

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGTGirlKS

Love the South Park reference!

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

I must still be living a sheltered life. I just thought it was a VERY full diaper. In either case, ew!

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKay

I'd pass if I found a giant tumor with feet were burrowing through my cake.... I know tumors aren't catchy but.... *cough cough*

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

By far the funniest post ever! Thank you for this site bring not right humor to my day :D

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

First I just love these stick figure posts, they are hilarious. Poor baby if that represents someone real. So wrong to turn it into a cake. Couldn't eat it.

But the video. Sugar Lumps. omg I think I developed a hernia I lol'd so hard. Good thing I wasn't eating or drinking anything. You really should warn us about these things. bahahahahah

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJeanne

Hi, I'm Pippa, long-time reader, first-time posting, and I just had to comment because that song is my all time favourite song from 'Flight of the Conchords' - in fact the whole episode is funny - and this cake was making me giggle but when I saw the video still at the bottom of the post it made it even better!

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPippa

My reaction was that this was an oozing blob that had either somehow grown human legs or had devoured a baby and is still in the process of digesting it.

Please for the love of Pete do not feed your babies to the huuuuuuuudge.

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterPocket

For those of you who have obviously not been previously introduced to the MAGIC that is Flight of the Conchords, you owe Jen and John (thoj) a huge thank you. I promise you that you should delve deeper into their awesomeness.

And also- EEEWWWWW.

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

My favorite Flight of the Conchords song! And one of my least favorite cakes! The diagram made me die laughing.

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterFM

Awesome post. So funny, and not just because I love Flight of the Concords. :)

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

So... I guess it's a boy?

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterGristle McNerd

Where is the rest of it???

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJess f

Once again, the folks at Cake Wrecks have predicted my facial reactions to wrecked cakes. Mister stickman and I might be related.

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterDances with Lasagna

I guess someone was feeling a bit testy that day.

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterMillie P

*snerk*

Or maybe it's just a fat roll & the decoration is supposed to be of William Howard Taft as a baby.

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterNerfbomb

I was really ok with it until I exed out of the page and was treated to the up close of the Teddy's face on my FB feed, which in turn was a close up of the goodies under the blanket, which forced me to comment "eeew eew eew!" Even on my phone that picture is too big! Why oh why is the 'diaper' (because that's what I'm deluding myself into believing) textured like an elbow? For the love of Pete! What the frosting?

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCBushLite

Teddy is the Cake Wreck version of Mr. Bill as I hear him screaming "Oh nooooooooo."

January 20, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterKnittedbooties

Lmao and here I thought it was a very full diaper about to explode on that poor helpless teddy bear. I would never have thought it was anything else.. until now lol.

January 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Find the baker. Make them explain.

January 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

I have to comment because a day later, I just realized the title of this post. o_O

Millie P> What you just did there? Yeah, I saw it. ;)

January 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

The first thing I thought of when looking at that is raw chicken breast....hurk!

January 21, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

The "???" is it's squished head.

January 29, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterSquirtGirlMC

And then I laughed so hard I started crying a bit.

February 19, 2015 | Unregistered CommenterTess

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