Stick A Pick In It
September 16, 2014 "... and to avoid any possible mistakes, instead of any writing on the cake I'd like you to just use one of those plastic 'Happy Birthday' picks, please."
;)
"No, no, I don't want you to write it, I want you to use one. You know, the 'Happy Birthday' sticks? Yes. One of those."
;)
"Maybe I'm using the wrong word. Um... do you have a decorative plaque you put on cakes? One that says 'Happy Birthday'? Because that's all I want. Really. Just that!"
;)
[massaging temples]
;)
"See, now you just wrote 'pick' again."
;)
"Aha! Well, you DID use some birthday plaques this time. But see, that's all I want! No writing, just one plain 'Happy Birthday' plaque."
;)
"I feel like we're going in circles here.
"Tell you what, forget the sticks, picks, and plaques, k? Go ahead and write happy birthday. JUST HAPPY BIRTHDAY. That's it. Got it?"
;)
Thanks to Emily H., Garret E., Dan N., Savannah W., Shelly F., Melissa W., & Evan H. for today's just desserts.
*****
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Reader Comments (47)
Stick a fork in it--you're done.
If I had to pick a favorite post for this week ..... today might be it.
Though I'd really like to stick it to those wreckerators, er, decorators.
Now excuse me while I go remove some plaque from my teeth.
Hey now, let's be fair.
If you want a just birthday,
who am I to judge?
"No, No just Happy Birthday, got It? What are you some of kind of idiot!"
"I'm not sure I can fit all that on cake sir."
"Since what you write is wro --oo --oo --ong, I don't want you to write..."
The UPSIDE: Kayque Wrekxcsz will live FOREVAHHHHH!!!!!!! (Now, where'd I put my aspirin...?) =^~.~^=
A plague on all your birthdays....
Some bakers, they learned a new trick
Just display your good wish with a pick
But some found it exciting
To add their own writing
Which made me exclaim, "What a poor example of decorating and comprehension skills that guy has...
Three exciting celebrations today!
First, we celebrate the first use of the plectrum, a “small, flat tool used to pluck or strum a stringed instrument.” Happy Birthday, Pick!
Next, it was on this day, many, many years ago, that Caveman Ogg picked up a small branch and used it to start a fire. He also found that object, when sharpened, to be useful for hunting. Later, he threw pieces of it toward his pet dog, who retrieved it and brought it back to him. Happy Birthday, Stick!
And finally, it was today is the day that dental plaque was first discovered, in 1843, in Yellowstone, Wyoming. Happy Birthday, Plaque!
Creamy lumps and plastic colorful balls, seasoned with just the right amount of paprika!
I'm impressed not a single one wrote "plague" on those cakes. Is that a glimmer of hope, or grasping at straws? Or sticks...
This reminds me of the time I went to Starbucks and ordered a latte. When asked my name, to avoid confusion (silly me), I said "June" like the month. You guessed it, my cup said month when I got it!
Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse. . . . .
I guess the bright spot is that I was expecting at least one cake to say "Happy Birthday Plague." So there's that.
I am really scraping the bottom of the barrel for optimism here, aren't I?
The stupid...it burns D: lulz@haiku joy. Even though it is soo off, the last one still looks yummy
I'm amused that the one with balloons and Happy Birthday Pick has balloon picks.
::sigh::
I always think, "They cannot be serious", but there's the photographic evidence right there....
??? Okay, can anyone 'splain me please-why is there a pile of red "sand", paprika or red velvet cake mix in the center of the 4st cake? And on the 5rd, the only word that's completely legible is Stick...? <heavy sigh>
Haiku Joy- :-D
SuBee- I love me a great limerick...but one that completely goes off rhythym is HI-larious!!
mel- love your History lessons, better than Peabody and Sherman!
@mel: I enjoyed your "Great Moments in History", and learning about how Mr. C.O. "invented" fire, as well as the game of "fetch" (as it is known afetchinately today). But what I really want to know is this: could he cook?
=^-.-^=
That sixth cake looks like it says "Happy Birthday Plague." If so, given what looks like festive bacteria in the center, nailed it!
@Haiku Joy, I think that's my favorite one of yours ever!
So apparently, many wreckerators are literalists!
mel, I loved it.
Could be worse. They could have misspelled "plaque" and given them the "plague".
My nephew got the nickname Stick so those cakes could actually be appropriate.
Mine would say "The Happy Birthday plastic thingy"
Piaque? They're getting all fancy on us now.
Happy Birthday plaque?? Time to brush your teeth!!! :-)
The penultimate cake with the inscription "HAPPY BIRTHDAY PLAGUE" is being very nice considering the plague decimated the European population between 1346-53. Personally I wouldn't want to wish happy birthday to something that had killed up to 200 million people. But that's just me.
I am actually surprised that none of the wreckerators used plague instead of plaque.
At least cake #2 is bright and cheerful in its cluelessness!
@SuBee - That made me laugh!
Paprika? I wasn't sure if it was that or phosphorus powder from some chemistry lab experiment :-D
Oh, right - paprika. I thought it was red dye pigment they didn't mix properly into the icing.
To the tune of "Three Blind Mice"
Picks, sticks, plaques,
Picks, sticks, plaques,
That's all we want,
That's all we want,
But we went down to the baker man's shop,
And he made a cake with the words on top,
"Just happy birthday", oh why won't he stop,
at picks, sticks, plaques.
Plaque's real name is Bob but his cruel dentist father gave him a nickname that stuck like... well plaque. Stick was just a scrawny hillbilly who didn't eat a whole lot. Both are feeling super loved today as it's not even their birthday...
Am I the only one to notice that the cake, third to last with the "plaque" that the "Happy" looks more like H U Y Y S Y?
I thought paprika was for deviled eggs?
@Buttercream-I thought it said "Hayyay," which is such a happy word I think I'll start using it.
With apologies to Bill Engvall, here's your plaque.
(pinches bridge of nose)
What does #5 even say?
What does #5 even say?
If I want it then you should have put a stick on it. Woah oh oh, woah oh oh...
My favourite is the rainbow birthday plague uhm plaque
@SuBee: hahaha…I think that is called a Limertickle – like a limerick, but with a tickle at the end….
@VaBeach alemaP: thank you, but to be fair, they let me borrow their WABAC….
@sendingtheclownssendingtheclowns: could he cook!? Why, certainly, as long as you liked everything well-well-done…..
@Haiku Joy: I am honored. As I read your post earlier, and marveled at its clever word play, I thought, That lady can say more in 17 syllables than I can in 17 paragraphs…you continue to amaze me….
@Seabird: ha! Nicely done….
SuBee, you're a genius. This blog gets the BEST comments!
I know I'm late to the posting here, but I love, love these posts where we get to see the escalating frustration of a hypothetical customer. Totally brilliant writing!
Well at least you can still eat it
Lmao too funny
#5 says "Happy Birthday Stick". It was my daughter's and I asked for no writing, just a happy birthday stick. I was laughing so hard at the "Stick" for her name that I didn't even notice how sloppy the "Happy" was!