8 Wrecks To Bring the "Romance"
August 11, 2014 It's "Resurrect Romance" week, so you know THAT means:
Time to bring sexy back! With cake!
[starting up peppy dance music]
HIT IT, JOHN!
;)
Um. John. What are you doing. John. John.
Let's try that again.
HIT IT, JOHN!!
;)
...no.
;)
Now I'm getting uncomfortable.
Here, lemme take over.
Look, people, to really steam things up you've gotta be loving:
;)
And maybe keep those pet names private.
Try telling your amore that tonight... IS THE NIGHT.
;)
Only not in a murder-y way.
Some ladies like it if you buy them...
;)
...THINGS. Buy them things. 0.o
It doesn't have to be anything extravagant, though. Sometimes just sharing a refreshing slice of watermelon can... uh...
;)
...never mind.
Anyway, I'm sure we can agree that the important thing for love & romance is to be a beacon.
;)
A sexy, sexy beacon.
("Happy Kattie?" I BET SHE IS.)
Thanks to Elizabeth L., Laura R., Anony M., Mallory V., Haley, Heather F., Jody M., & Jaime-Ann, who I'm reaaaaally hoping is a fan of our Pan-demonium post. Otherwise, AWKWARRRD.
*****
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Reader Comments (39)
George Gershwin loved romance AND cake.
I’ve got a cake for you Poopie pie,
Didn’t understand a storm was blowing by.
I never had the least notion, you’d want to throw it into the ocean.
Olaf? Sven?. What a pair!
Tonight's the night I'll show you just how much I "care."
Your "watermelon's" so great
So I have got a cake, my baby, for you…
O, my melon slice,
my beacon lights my undies.
Let's embrace, Poop-face.
http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2011/12/6/high-koos.html
Sung to "Love Will Keep Us Together"
Cake, cake will keep us together
Think of cake, babe, whenever
Some tornadic winds come along, all hump day long
Don't mess around
Sorry, Olaf, that's wrong!
So STOP! [Stop] Poop face, we ALL love you
Stop [stop] Murder cake is not cool
Buy me a cake and more THINGS to keep us together
You, you belong to me now
Melon's not what I see. Wow.
"Be a beacon!" Don't run aground. That's so profound.
With cake like that I'm not Sneaking around
Just STOP [stop] 'cause cake makes me love you
STOP [stop] Keeps me thinking of you
Look in my heart and let cake keep us together
Whatever.
(Now excuse me. I need to see what words I can make from SETEC ASTRONOMY)
Peen pan FTW.
Be a beacon....
Love the Sneakers reference
"Oh my, Herr Doktor, Olaf must have an enormous Sven-schtucker."
Be a Beacon...give him ...help. OK, now everyone go watch "Sneakers".
The "Happy Kattie" cake has an almost-invisible "Birthday" on the bottom red stripe. Or maybe it's "Barthday". Hard to tell.
OMG. Seriously, these people need to stop trying to make penis cakes into other things. It's hilarious, but no.
Today Jen's sweetie
John Flunks romance 101
Normally he's smooth.
It's like a bowling pin. With goiters and blonde pigtails.
A lost scene from “Romeo and Juliet”
(In a room in Juliet’s house, at dusk)
Juliet: O, Romeo, dear Romeo. Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,
And when I close my eyes I see my dear Poopy Face.
Romeo (aside): Love! Ha! Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps
And she chooses to make googly eyes about craps!
Juliet: Why the poopy face, my dear?
Woulds’t that I compare thee to a summer's day?
But be filled with cheer, my love
For tonight is the night
The sheets run red with the proof of my love for you.
Romeo: Tonight’s the Night!
If I know you are coming I will bake a cake.
Juliet: But first, pray thee, a snack for you.
Whilst thou share in my melon, Romeo?
It is ripe and red, filled with the juices of my love for you.
Romeo: To eat or not to eat…that is never the question!
What’s in a name? A “melon” by any other name would taste as sweet,
And if watermelon be the food of love, eat on!
Juliet: What light shines through yonder window?
Romeo: ‘Tis naught but my Beacon of Love,
Standing proud and tall, a refuge for you, my love,
Bidding you safe passage to my heart.
Juliet: You make my heart flutter, my poopy face.
Let me be the water that surround you,
My channel deep and waiting for your vessel.
Romeo: ‘Twill be a joyous enjoining, my love,
And I shall introduce you to my seamen.
Juliet: And, O, my dear Romeo,
Do not forget to purchase that mongrel I like.
Romeo: Yes, my dear, I’ll buy Abby.
(Aside) And pray he is not like the other dog you had who
Would forever interrupt us as we kissed and mingled
On the balcony beneath the stars.
Why, ‘tis lucky I still had my voice for all the shouting,
“Out, out, damned Spot!”
Yesterday was my and my darling spouse's 18th wedding anniversary (how time flies)--and it was quite romantic. He took me out to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants, we shared an ice-cream cone, and saw a non-animated movie (you parents of kids know how special that is).
Fortunately (by the looks of things) cake was not involved.
I LOVE how the "beacon" is aimed right at the "watermelon" (which, if it were in pink tones would greatly resemble a vjayjay)....Freudian Monday?
"I leave message here on service but you do not call."
Leave it to you to make a fabulous movie reference like that. :)
It looks like the 6 is vomiting snow. Cannot be unseen.
Okay, you really got me with the Sneakers reference. I think I have to go watch it now. "Be a beacon?" "Give him head?" *dies*
Hey, that's the green-lipped mussel of love!
Mel, you've reached a new level of genius today.
Cake Wrecks, oh how I
love thee. Not as much as Kattie,
loves some umm... light house!
I'm still trying @Haiku Joy!
@mel ~ To bad we didn't know about this lost scene back in high school. It might have kept the class awake!
I needed this today.
If this is the general result, then I vote we stop trying to resurrect romance and just let it go.
And what is with the mystical flying solo waves on the lighthouse cake?
That's it! I have to admit it! I thought it was a crush, but no, I'm in love with mel. Please don't tell my husband, although since I read him all the comments every day he's probably guessed, and please don't tell me if Mel is short for Melanie, that's one too many watermelons for me:) I adore all of the comments/commentors, and John (thoJ) you did well today, I'd have been uncomfortable too with the cakes today, they were a bit more than a handful;)
I thought at first glance the lighthouse was a three eyed clown. Scary.
Watch for the satly spray from that last won, especially if it gets in your eye. Ouch!
mel, I loved it.
Oh, HOW did I miss the "Sneakers" reference until I read the comments?
@mel - Whoa. You could write for one of those bodice-ripper romance novels.
I think the wreckorator of Cake #5 ran out of room. I'm thinking it should say "Tonight is the Night...that Aunt Flo Visits!"
I'm pretty sure I can see @mel blushing from here.
@CBushLite ~ We have a fan club. Someone was supposed to be working on shirts.
So, um, where can one buy one of those lighthouse-themed condom with flashlight tip? Asking for a friend.
@Degera: Well, I don’t know about genius, but thank you…just havin’ some fun…
@Jodee: and generated a lot more English majors, who, with any luck at all, would become bakers who can spell…I’m sensing you’re having a little stress…if that’s so, I hope all is back to normal for you soon….and, laughter can lighten a heavy heart….
@CBushLite: ahhh…hi! May I speak to your husband for a minute? Thanks. Dear Mr. CBushLite. I think a word of explanation is in order. I just wanted to point out, as you no doubt already know, as you are an astute and intelligent man (after all, you did have the foresight to marry Mrs. CBushLite – that speaks for itself) there are many kinds of love. I know beyond a reasonable shadow of a doubt that what she is referring to is what the Greeks call “Philia,” which is a mental only type of feeling, one strictly of friendship, particularly among people WHO HAVE NEVER MET and share a mutual interest, like Cake Wrecks and humor. Thank you.
PS – mel is not short for Melanie, and hasn’t been since the operation. Kidding, kidding, kidding about the operation.
@Haiku Joy: Thank you so much for that kind comment! Know that I feel that way about all your posts – your command and use of the Haiku is nothing short of incredible and totally delightful. You brighten our days.
I see your watermelon bo-jayjay and raise you one "spitting the seeds" innuendo.
1000 Internets to melspeare!
@SaraV:hahaha.....too funny....no, actually, I couldn't -- couldn't keep a straight face....
@Jodee: blushing indeed...yes, that brightness that you see is my face...not a light from a "lighthouse", as depicted above....
I cannot stop laughing hysterically at poor Kattie's cake. Woah. I probably shouldn't wonder where people find pans shaped this way. I just shouldn't try to guess either lmao.
The look on Marshmallow's face is my favorite part of the Frozen cake. Take a good long look at that expression and tell me it doesn't mirror the one you had when you saw Olaf and Sven in that... position.
Also, that camel is the most beautifully awful thing I've seen all day.
@Zippy: Wow! That's a lot...thanks.... :-)
Jodee, nice use of the awkward pause!
You know, if that red cake was a joke between two closet Dexter fans I could understand it. As it is, well...maybe it's not a good idea to buy a romantic cake with a line from a fictional serial killer. Just saying.
Long time follower, 1st time poster. If I had my green tea latte, it would have squirted out my nose, I just laughed out loud so hard! Thanks, Mel for your amazing contribution. Well done--my English degree flopped a little before it went back to sleep. Love, love, love!
The pink geometric heart was done using the same principle as smocking. If you up the word you'll probably find plenty of videos on how to do it using fabric and thread. You can extrapolate from there how to do it with fondant.