An Independent Celebration
July 3, 2014 Holiday weekend time, baby! Who gets to cut out early this afternoon for a long weekend? Huh?
WE ALL HATE YOU.
The rest of us will just be here, "working."
Though to be honest, we may not have our full attention on what we're doing.
;)
Oops.
;)
Close!
;)
"What country is this, again?"
You ever get a little punchy while you're waiting to clock out?
[giggling] "Ok, ok, now throw this York peppermint patty on it. DO IT. I dare you."
;)
"OH MY GOSH SHE DID IT."
"Look! I made a toothbrush!
;)
"A cake toothbrush! I AM A GENIUS. KNEEL BEFORE ZOD! MWUAH-Ha-haaaa!"
But mostly I bet you're just watching the clock and phoning it in, am I right?
;)
"Close enough."
;)
"Like I'm going to look up a reference image at 4 o'clock on a Friday."
And my favorite:
Since bakers have always struggled with all those stars on the US flag, cake companies made a plastic insert they could use. Unfortunately, no one told the bakers they still have to add the rest of the flag:
;)
I like it. Very... clean.
So remember, my fellow Americans: get out there this weekend and celebrate our Independence the way bakers intended:
;)
Independently.
Thanks to Denise, Sarah R., Chantene Z., Erin P., Steph K., Allison, Danae H., Ed P., & Beth H., for helping us get all this "work" done.
*****
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Reader Comments (43)
oh, look! #6 is Sponge Cake Square Pants!
Cake #8. That wreckerator just couldn't do anything right. Not only did they forget the stripes, they put the plastic star thingy upside-down!
Sung to "The Star Spangled Banner"
Oh, say, did you see, by the bakery case light
How so badly they failed, and now there's no redeeming
Those on "Stars and Stripes" cake have a perilous plight
For their country's been turned, and now my eyes are streaming
"July 4 of" is rare, just what country is there?
Have candy, then brush, and pipe squiggles with flair!
I'd say blue stripes are wrong, but flotsam sta-ars sa-ve
Oh, the wrecks that Jen has found for In-de-pen-dent Day!!!!
I’m proud to be an American
If tomorrow all the wrecks were gone,
I’d looked at all my life.
And I had to start again,
With just a poundcake and a knife.
I’d miss the sloppy stars
And stripes the wreckers here display.
‘Cause a wreck still stands for talent,
That got lost along the way.
And I’m proud to be an American,
Even if I’m upside down.
I’m brushing with my toothpaste cake,
So I’ll look nice when I frown.
And I gladly grab a piping bag,
and add stripes and mints for fun.
‘ Cause there ain’t no doubt I love these wrecks,
God bless us every one…
I think on exhibit #4, they simply ran out of Dove chocolates....either that or the York was meant to be the "white" in the red, white and blue.
"What country is this, again?" Waldo-land.
I'm planning to go to work and make about 50 red, white, and blue cakes and cupcakes and cupcake cakes (I don't like them but I have to have them out) and I'll make SURE none of them will look like this. It's as bad as when my decorator thought a rainbow started with purple and put out 20 cakes that all went purple, blue, green, yellow, orange, red, top to bottom.
My daily dilemma with Cake Wrecks is choosing my favorite. Lovely contestant #4 is a rather fetching representation of......the United States? (Right?) But #6 just looks like a seascape to me - anemones, starfish, uh, fuzzy creatures. Very patriotic.
@SuBee: Very nice indeed.
The hipster minimalism of Wreck #8 is to die for.
I HAVE to comment to say "Brilliant Sharyn and SuBee! You've outdone yourselves today!" *standing ovation*
I want you to know that I diligently look at these cakes to make it my goal not to mess up on the cakes I make daily. On average I make between 15-30 cakes per day and I'm always looking at the details. The one cake on here alone that gets me, at least this go around, is the star plaque one on the white cake. Lmao people these are current designs sent this year. There are new designs sent every year and the blue star plaque with the I love USA in the bottom right corner is current.
Sharyn and SuBee: fantastic song tributes! I will never hear those songs the same again...
Happy 4rd of Juli, everyone!
@Sharyn and @SuBee: Spectacular. I'm sitting in the doctor's waiting room with my dad and trying not to sing out loud! I managed to hold in the laughter, but I got a few looks from others here.
Could the first cake be of a map of the US how it's seen in Australia?? ;0)
I would totally buy a toothbrush like that!!!
Aquafresh for the win!
@Sharyn and @SuBee -- so well done, ladies!! Thank you.
And thank you Jen for "working" today and making us all smile, laugh, and scratch our heads in puzzlement.
SuBee and Sharyn hit it out of the park, as usual! Happy Independent Day to all of you tomorrow! Have a big slice of that last cake for me!
I love having Colleen and Stephanie S. on here to give us a (sane) insider's view!!
Cakes three and four today are actually filled with historical significance. Looking at Cake 4 first, the apparently errant York patty actually represents an integral part of our Revolutionary War history. York, Pennsylvania, served as the temporary capital of the Continental Congress, and it was there that the Articles of Confederation were drafted and adopted. That document was the first legal document to refer to the colonies as “the United States of America,” so many believed that York was the Nation’s first capital.
Cake Three also played a little-known role in our Nation’s history. Most are familiar with Paul Revere’s famous ride and the lamp-in-the-tower scenario. Well, that was all fine and dandy if the warning came at night, but what if it were needed during the day? This cake was the day plan. If the invasion started during the day, Paul would ride through the country side and drop off one of these at the town square. The colonists, wise in the ways of interpreting balloons on cakes, knew that immediate action was called for – this was the signal that the British were coming.
@Sharyn and SuBee: a hearty wave of the sparklers to you both...well done, well done!
You try to make a map of the US out of cupcakes? Are you freaking kidding? That doesn't look anything like a map of the US. What an embarrassment. No wonder it's on the sale rack.
What? It's a tooth? Oh. Well done.
I hope that the wreckinator used a "New" York peppermint patty.
@Sharyn and @SuBee ~ You both did a whiz-bang-up job! hehe
Obviously I need more coffee. I think I had more **face-palm** moments than usual on this one. Or maybe Jen is just that good. Yeah, that's probably it.
For some reason this entire post depresses the &*%% out of me. :{
There is a full flag version of that plastic insert. (Woe is me for not having pictures!) It's approximately 8" x 10", so of course the store I was in put in on a 1/4 sheet cake.
#6 took a weird turn from America's flag to The More You Know PSA.
#6; Hooray for the Red, White, and Blue. Oh yeah, and Yellow! and Green!
I totally thought that plastic insert on the first cake was some sort of animal. The northeast section looks like a trunk of some sort and the Great Lakes section looks like a mouth. I had to do some mental gymnastics to realize that was the U.S.!
Ahh sharyn and suebee perfect tributes to our nation :D the cake with just stars makes me wonder what the instructions were O_o The rest just make me wonder if people have even SEEN a flag
I've seen many baffling things on this blog, but no. 3 is the worst yet. Or, even though it's a cookie, it takes the cake.
I mean: a square with stripes, plus balloons and a horseshoe? WTF???!??!?!?!!??!!!
I am going to find some festive red, white and blue beverages to wipe out the brains cells that had to orocess this information.
Jen, you are just...I mean really, I just have no words...You slave over the hot computer all day and all night, posting sarcasm and snark just so we can all laugh outrageously in inappropriate places at inappropriate times, usually in front of someone who takes life WAAAAY too seriously and is an old sourpuss (even if they are 22) anyway. Then we get accused of laughing at our crabby supervisor, then we have to go to HR for "Sensitivity Training" so we will stop making people the butt of our jokes. Then you can hear us in the HR conference room laughing even louder because now the HR Director has CW up on the screen and is going through the archives...
Okay, so that didn't REALLY happen...to ME at least, probably happened to someone though. But, we should TOTALLY have a "Jen Cake of" celebration....when's a good day for you? When Art makes landfall as a CAT3?? Your on the western side of FL right? Not in any danger right...Jen, JEN....uh oh...
@ Sharyn & SuBee Bravo!!! Hip hip....HAZZAH!! Songs almost everyone in the land knows, the land that celebrates "July 4 of" Aaaah, I remember the good ol' days when "July 4 of" was celebrated with M80s and M120s that my dad would bury in small divots in the front yard. Scared the heck out of our dogs, but...<snort> "the dogs fine. They won't lose their hearing...or their minds,".... years later we had a deaf dog with dementia. But I digress.
@mel Always appreciative of the history lessons mel. What were balloons made out of then? Sheep gut or was it more like "conceptual art" back then. <giggle>
HAPPY July 4 of and Happy Independent Day as well, try to be alone as much as possible, and make sure those toddlers go out and look for work on Independent day.
Jojo: the plastic flag insert is 8" x 10"? What to you do if you actually want to eat the cake? Rip it off with a soggy squelch and slice the denuded underlayer, or try to excavate beneath it? Or just cut as it is, and serve people plastic strips and let them cope with it?
@Sharyn-I always get a little teary eyed when I hear the Star Spangled Banner, but your version had me sobbing.
@mel-Where were you when my daughter was taking AP American History?
@Colleen and Stephanie S.- Don't you feel superior when you see this stuff? I'm guessing you could be working blindfolded with a cast on one arm, and your work would still be better than this.
Have a wonderful Independent Day-Enjoy your stars and strips!
I have to agree with Nancie - these cakes are funny, but it really is depressing that there are folks running around loose who don't know how our flag looks - or which end is up, quite literally.
VBeach - since you asked, there were no balloons as such, but Colonial kids made do with an animal's bladder, blown up and tied off, for a ball. Until the leather (or whatever you want to call it) dried out, a bladder bounced quite well.
Last minute display... Check. Hyperactive whining boss...double check
Cranky customers that don't know the first thing about cake decorating...yep its a holiday!
Tomorrow... (Evil grin) I just want to wreckorate the whole bakery!!
Thanks for the great decorating ideas... Plan on doing several of the above😀
except for the misspelling. I can't do that....
(Shudder) I just can't!
Congratulations to all for giving me some guffaws today. Have a safe 4th!
@VBeach Alemap: Thank you. I always enjoy making up…I mean discovering…and sharing new historical facts. And your “conceptual art” was well done, well done!
@SuBee: Had I only known, I would have been happy to help her frazzle…I mean dazzle…the teacher…..
I love how on the "toothbrush" cake, they went through the trouble of making all of those stripes, but only did 12. I guess 13 stripes would have really looked odd.
First glance at the first cake, I saw a blue-faced whale. :-)
Very interesting cakes.
Um, don't you work FROM home?
This is just disgusting! But hilarious, as always! :D
The one you call very clean ... White and blue. Stars but no bars ...
Could be an independence day cake for Scotland?