7 Seriously Ugly Wedding Cakes To Make Your Day Better
June 30, 2014 Wow, you guys really like your wedding wrecks, don't you?
And by "your" wedding wrecks, I of course mean someone ELSE'S wedding wrecks.
Because you are terrible, terrible people.
We must be related.
Now, remember, a wedding cake is the most important cake in a person's blah-de-blah-look at this wreck:
;)
On the bright side, there are cupcakes.
On the top side, there's this:
;)
I think it says "M and H."
Why did the baker use "and" instead of an ampersand?
The world... may never know.
Ever wonder what a cake would like like wrapped in wet tissue paper?
;)
WONDER NO MORE.
This next one is Smurf-tastic:
;)
In fact, I believe the bride's exact words were, "So help me, I'm gonna smurfin' SMURF that smurfing baker!"
So...
;)
...that happened.
The bride asked for steampunk:
;)
She got steamed poop.
Every time I see a wedding cake like this, I think the same thing:
;)
If only that camouflage worked.
At least it didn't have a weedy deer skull on it, though!
AHAHAHAHAHAWAIT:
;)
The swan pillars are a nice touch.
The intestine topping, not so much.
Thanks to an anonymous bride, an anonymous wedding guest, Katie F., Judy M., another Anony M., Shari A., & Ashley P. for helping me give brides-to-be everywhere nightmares. SLEEP TIGHT, LADIES.
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Reader Comments (81)
@Jodee: O, no, Jodee! In the immortal words of Queen Elsa, "Let it Go!...."
@Ginger: thanks.... I do have fun here.....
I get married Saturday week. Thanks for terrifying me.
I also saw pepper-sand on the first cake ('some non-appetizing cultural ritual I don't know about??), and cashews and unshelled peanuts on the last cake (ridiculous! it should have been corn nuts!). And I don't know if I'm sorry or not that I missed the "horseshoe" cake...! Do wreckerators, er, bakers actually scan Cake Wrecks every day to make sure none of their creations are there? Talk about paranoid! I would think they would like the publicity, er, notoriety...! :)
Came back to show the hubby the horseshoe wang and now it's gone....darn it! That one was my "favorite" one of ALL TIME on CakeWrecks!
@mel: So if someone orders a Vera's wang wedding dress, do they get "special accessories" to complete the . . . .effect?
I swear that first cake looks like it was in a construction zone and all the dust fell on the cake. I would love to see people eating the smurf cake though and attempt pictures after lol. All the blue teeth must have been interesting unless the bride was off crying in a corner somewhere.. poor thing.
For anyone who wants to see the horseshoe wang cake: I just Googled "horseshoe wedding cake ugly" and found a cached image of it in Google images. I don't know how long it will be available, though.
That was just mean @mel! Good thing I'm headed for bed. But if my dreams include that blasted song, I'm totally blaming you! ;-)
That second one is rather nice. Not Sunday nice, but nice. Maybe it was just what she wanted?
What on earth is that drippy chocolate mess on the cupcakes in the last pic? My 8-year-old son could do better than that.
The "tissue paper" and "smurf" cakes could honestly have been quite pretty in some slightly better hands. Nothing cold have saved the others short of a total overhaul though.
(Maybe this one'll make it through.)
@TLC: good question! I would guess they do and they would also have a special song as their first dance at the reception: Good Vibrations....
@Jodee: Argggggg.....I was just trying to be helpful -- couching my concern for your welfare in a contemporary idiomatic manner, utilizing a pop culture reference to show that even us older folks can still be hip, with it, and groovy, digging the vibe of the younger generation...fail.....(should I have referenced Justin Bieber?)
Did someone from Blue Man Group get married??
Aww...I missed Vera's wang. :-(
MSTeacher3K, thank you so much. Now all the comments about it finally make sense. Before I read in the comments that Jen change the pictures I was very, very confused.
Yup. Found the horseshoe cake. That baker SHOULD have wanted that cake removed; it is that ugly. But not just pure ugly: embarrassing in its sincerity ugly.
Plus, we here let NOobody mess with John (thoj)and get away unscathed.
Call me old fashion, but what happened to a simple 3 tier white cake? I will say one thing, the guess will be talking about these cakes for years to come.
The "tissue paper" cake looks like it was decorated with toothpaste. And I'm bummed to have missed the horseshoe wang!
Yup, the original horseshoe cake is still cached in Google . And it´s awful. I now wish I hadn´t looked oO
The horror... the horror...
#8 That thing in the middle between the upper and lower parts of the cake sure looks like a dangling "dong".
The guests of the various weddings would be shocked at those cakes.
"Why did the baker use "and" instead of an ampersand?"
Ampersands are tricky enough with a pen, let alone a piping bag. The rest of the cake suggests challenge had exceeded skill level already.
I think that fourth cake, the one under the smurfs, was painted in farrow and ball.
they must be middle clarss
this is why I'm making my OWN wedding cake. It's too important to trust anybody else with. I'd rather screw it up myself and be able to fix it in time than see it on the big day and not be able to do anything about it.
The really amusing thing about the first cake is, that if I'm right, the bride and groom figurine is a specific sort of collectible. I can't exactly tell, but if it isn't what I'm thinking of, it's a decent knockoff.
And if it IS what I think it is, it's not only worth more than the cake itself (my cat's crap is worth more than that cake), if that's representative of the wedding, it may be worth at LEAST more than half the entire budget.
I'm all for hiring the blind, but not to decorate cakes. How can a baker look at one of these, and say, ''Yep! My best work EVER!''
#5 is actually pretty cool looking as far as SteamPunk goes.
I think #4 fits in nicely with the wood(-like) paneling, metal folding chairs, plastic tablecloth, and dollar store votives. Nice job, Aunt Shirl <3
Are those tiny red soldier toys on that last one?
That camouflage cake is the exact color that a dead body turns in the early stages of decomposition during the first 24-36 hours after death. The baker had some contrary opinions about the union, I'm guessing?
Ha! Love these, especially the mouldy looking camoflage one!