Our World Cup Runneth Over
June 20, 2014 Bakers, let's talk about soccer.
Because of all your balls...
;)
...the soccer ball seems to be the most difficult for you guys to grasp.
And believe me, when it comes to ball grasping...
;)
...we want you to have a firm grip on the situation.
(John: "Uh, I think that's supposed to be a basketball cou..."
Me: "SHHHH.")
For example, some of your balls are too fuzzy:
;)
While others are lumpy and uneven:
;)
Some of your balls are too small:
;)
And others... well... are they supposed to be that color?
;)
Look, bakers, we know that Soccer balls come in all shapes and sizes, and each is uniquely beautiful in its own way.
Unless it's this way:
;)
Seriously, man, put that away. You're just embarrassing yourself.
And to all you World Cup fans out there:
;)
Hang loose, you crazy nuts, you!
Thanks go Andrea C., Jennipher D., Charesse, Becky N., Diane L., Amy N., Abi H., & Ilana W. for the balls-to-the-wall excitement.
*****
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Reader Comments (36)
Gosh, I hope this doesn't make any soccer fans get testes -- um, I meant testy... (Oh, balls...)
What, no Pokeball?
These balls are crazy-made by someone insane
Just looking at them causes me mental pain
I have to gasp, it’s hard to grasp
Goodness, gracious weird balls of fire
Furry? Lumpy? These balls are just sick
That basketball court looks just like a…well,not right
We love soceer, these balls we fear
Goodness, gracious weird balls of fire
Kick it baby, woo, it’s a mess
Smash it baby, looking at it causes too much stress
A wreck, It’s dreck, there’s just one word for these it’s “blech, blech, blech”
These aren’t ball-y, some are not even round
Perhaps the bakers were too tightly wound
I have to gasp, they’re hard to grasp
Goodness, gracious weird balls of fire
Regarding the second cake I must say ohhh myyy ;) sharyn and Suebee hehehehe to the bakers all i can say is DX
Cake #6 is actually a highly accurate representation of the rare, endangered Preppy-Shelled Tortoise of Kungamunga (preppipinkus shellisloppius), an obscure island somewhere off the coast of Madagascar. During mating season, the female, as shown in the photo, makes nests out of her own snow-white poo, one nest for each egg. The adorable green offspring eat the eggshells upon hatching, and look! They're already copying Mummy's clever survival behavior, the product of bazillions of years of evolution, namely lying around trying to look inconspicuous. Aren't they adorbs? SQUEEEE!!
@Sharyn and @SuBee: well done…you’ve got a good handle on this today and I’m kinda tired, so I’m gonna hit the sack…. (And a shout-out to Team USA -- our North American Defenders: GO NADS!)
Balls-to-the-wall gold stars of funny-ness go out to Jen, Sharyn, and SuBee
That's a prize I just created. Celebrated by a gold star with a smiley face and a cake wreck of your choice.
1) barbed wire wagon wheel, malformed number sign, and stitches on a wound
2) Um...yeah...movin' right along... (Except to say this team seems up for anything...
3) Is this a diseased Tribble?
4)CCC (Ptooey!) and yet, it looks kinda yummy
5) Why did someone place a chocolate chip bird doo on that sea anemone?
6) Scariest specimen! I think it's a diseased brain, laid out next to some green eggs and no ham
7) Yikes! Just...yikes!
8) Happy Soceer to you too! You're not trying to pander to the drunk masses and cash in mercilessly on the trend of the moment are you? Of COURSE not. You're obviously a smart cookie!
The positive- none appear to be blue
My brother actually had a pink and green soccer ball like that when we were kids. The cake may not be great, but the colors aren't unbelievable.
That pink and green cake looked very much like the soccer ball that one of the girls on my 9 year old son's co-ed soccer team had last season. Actually it is pretty rare to see the white with black hexagon soccer balls anymore. My daughter's soccer ball is pink, my son's is blue, we also have one that is golden rod with blue that supposedly glows in the dark- we're not crazy enough to play soccer in the dark. My favorite was the one that one of the other girls on my daughter's team had- it was light pink with Hello Kitty! Now, off to the internet to see if I can find a Death Star soccer ball!
The snot on cake 6 makes me queasy. But Mel has given me a reason to become a soccer fan...so I can say GO NADS!
@Sharyn and @SuBee ...wonderful as usual.
Welp, time to stop following Cakewrecks.
I didn't know you supported violence and harmful behavior under the guise of "celebration". Makes me sad.
[Editor's note- Wait. Waitwaitwait. Wait. Lemme make sure we're on the same page, here. We, a funny cake site, put up funny soccer ball cakes accompanied by testicle puns, right? We did this because apparently, there is some big game or something that everyone is talking about, right? And your well-thought-out conclusion is that we support violent and harmful behavior because of it? Because of cakes? Because of poorly done cakes? Because we posted cake wrecks on a site called Cake Wrecks? Well okay, then. I'm sorry to see you go. Have a fantastic day! -john (the hubby of Jen)]
Cake #2 - Are those arrows pointing to where the balls go or perhaps where they are?
Someday, I will make a CD of Sharyn's and SuBee's parodies and release Cake Wrecks Greatest Hits. (Misses?)
You'd have to be pretty ballsy to display wrecks like that in public.
@john (thoJ) ~ You're much nicer than I am. I have lots to say in rebuttal but since this is a family show I'll simply say trolls suck, especially the anonymous ones.
Happy Soceer to you too!
The ACDC song " Big Balls" is now stuck in my head.
Can I have the deviled eggs on #6?
#6 - If your bakery uses guacamole in place of frosting, you might have a Cakewreck.
Maybe Anonymous above was thinking of soccer hooliganism, which IIRC the European and English have been cracking down on pretty hard over the past few years. Or the recent riots in Brazil? *shrug*
I needed a reason to care even a little bit about soccer and HERE IT IS! Wrecks, @Sharyn, @SuBee, @Mel and then some weirdo that found some way to be offended (although, I couldn't see it, and I was REALLY looking). Truly makes my day! Testy, NADs, and "uh, I think that's supposed to be a basketball cou..." Classic!
For Jen and John (thoJ) and Kool and The Gang (Yes, that's YOU!)
Celebrate good times, come on! (Let's celebrate)
Celebrate good times, come on! (Let's celebrate)
There’s a party goin’ on right here
Extolling violence – It couldn’t be more clear
So bring your nunchucks and your phasers, too
We gonna celebrate your fury with you
Come on now
Celebration
Let’s all kick some balls and have a good time
Celebration
We gonna smash CCCs and have a good time
Support our harmful action
If you don’t, you’ll end up in traction
Everyone on Cake Wrecks now
Come on!!
Am I the only one that sees a poodle in #4?
I'd comment about how much I like (most) everyone's comments (Look! 2 musical offerings from SuBee!!) but first I have to go punch a Care Bear. I don't really want to, but I feel this inexplicable urge...
I was going to ask the same thing as shannon above, cause those green deviled eggs laying on the bed of grass next to the pink & green stained-glass planetarium in picture #6 look delish!
@SuBee ~ I'm most impressed that you put the thoughts in my brain into a song. Did you do some timey-wimey-wibbly-wobbly thing or what? Nicely done!
@mel ~ I've been giggling at GO NADS all day! Thank you!
@The Former CB: well done!
@Knittedbooties, @CbushLite, @Jodee: Thank you! And remember…it’s always good to support the NADS….
Theadare might be listening...we will let him look after the situation.
Consider this your somewhat less than daily reminder that frequently grasping, and checking over, your balls in a warm bathtub is not only fun, but a life-saver.
You won't ever see a Race for a cure for testicular cancer, nor a telethon, nor much of anything else but mockery and derision over it-- but it's a far more common killer of young men than you think. So check those balls, gentlemen, for lumps, sore spots, and assorted ickiness, and talk with your doctor. Because you deserve to live too.
[Editor's note- Great point, khereva. -john (thoJ)]
Cake 7 needs to come with a small tube of frosting and some clues so the crossword can be filled in. Also, the squiggly lines on the pink and green soccer ball make it look more like an Abby Normal brain.
#2 looks like a penis jumping rope. What is it?!
Lmao. These cakes are hilarious. I wonder if even half the wreckerators know what a soccer ball looks like. Judging from these probably not.
Thanks, khereva!
Too funny. The pink/green one is awesome. :)
#5 looks like some kind of sea anemone... WTH?
Until now, I wasn't aware that green sea urchins fed on tiny soccer balls!
And is it just me, or does cake #6 look a little like Epcot? ;-)
Hilarious!