Wednesday
May072014
That Crowning Touch
May 7, 2014 Ok, bakers, time to make some princess tiaras!
Now remember, we want them to look like this:
;)
Because reasons.
And we can only make cupcake cakes (patooie!), because cupcake cakes (patooie!) are just so clean and beautiful and easy to serve:
;)
[deadpan stare]
Aaaaand... GO.
;)
[wincing] Oooh, SO CLOSE.
;)
Less close.
(Am I the only one who sees a star stepping over a puddle?)
;)
What the...?
No.
;)
[softly banging head on desk]
NO!!
;)
I give up.
Let's just go back to making King cakes.
;)
Perfect.
Thanks to Liz, Chris L., Ann Marie P., Kristin M., Hannah C., Valerie B., & Erich B., who totally rule.
*****
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Reader Comments (55)
I think the last princess tiara looks like a flower-bedecked Dalek sucking a pacifier. (And, yes Jen, I DO see a star stepping over a puddle.)
So, song... Um, sung to Volare
Tiarae*, Oh no
Bizarre-ay, wo oh oh no
*it's the plural
There might be something wrong with me, I kept scrolling in hopes that the shapes would morph into jaundiced phalluses.
I like deviled eggs
as the fingerprints on my
"We're Number Three!" mitt.
Ok I'm not sure if that is a map of North Dakota or South Dakota being said "Happy Birthday" to, but it's all kinds of wrong.
But, on the "I give up" "cake", I see a sad faced yellow blob monster with horns and its three tongues sticking out. Anyone else? Please tell me I'm not the only one who sees that.
The last yellow one looks like Jabba the Hut!
To be fair to the fifth cake, the roses were nicely done and make much more sense than colorful "squiggles." Though, one wonders if the baker had ever seen a tiara before and why a yellow mountain seems to work better. Maybe it's a volcano and will overflow with brightly colored buttercream! Mmmmmm....!
Heloise - I saw the same thing on the "I give up" cake! Looks like a very sad monster :(
The last princess cake looks like a frowning anime' character. The one above it possesses sad, colored carrots.
And we'll never be roooooyyaaaaallllssss....it don't run in our blood.....
I did see a star stepping over a puddle :D the rest of the cakes look as though they were made by well intentioned children.
It's a pity that the third cake didn't turn out too well! It could have been really pretty!
(You know you've been reading CakeWrecks too long, when seeing yellow blob monsters and stars stepping over puddles in cakes is the "norm".)
I must need more coffee...My first question on cake #1 was why it 3 nipples in 3 different colors....But I got a maniacal giggle out of the star stepping over a puddle....
Hey! Gotno Tipps here again, President of CloseEnuff Bakeries™ (home of the Incredibly Similar Cakes™) and today I’m proud to introduce my new line: Adequates™ -- cakes for the indiscriminate buyer. They may not look perfect, but as our slogan proudly says, “The Taste Is All Inside!”©
We’re starting off with something easy, and popular – the Tiara Cake! The first two cakes were made by perfessional bakers (our competition), while ours start with cake three. These are from out Imagine That™ line, developed with a friend who had a course in child psychology, designed to help stimulate a child’s imagination, while providing a semi-nutritious treat.
Cake three is our Princesses-In-Waiting Cake™ – for those who like the idea of Princesses but don’t actually want to spend a lot to have actual Princesses on the cake. Simply tell the child that the Princesses are coming soon and this is where they’ll be. Not only is this a cost-saving measure, it promotes the development of your child’s imagination! Win-win!
The fourth cake, our popular, What’s That? Cake™, takes creativity to another level, as the child spends hours and hours trying to figure out what it is. A map of the United States? A free-style visualization of the lymphatic system? See how long it takes your child to recognize the Tiara Cake! Educational, thought provoking, tasty – all in on cake!
Cakes five and six are from our Incredibly Similar Cakes™ line, for those willing to spend a little more for the fussy child who does not want to enjoy the educational aspects of our cakes and just wants what the friend who took one child psychology course says is “instant gratification.” We try to somewhat please everyone!
Cake seven, our highly popular Faint Resemblance If You Squint Cake™ is for people who love our I’ll Take Anything Cakes™. These usually are purchased for very small, gullible children who will accept whatever you tell them, particularly of you say it with enthusiasm – Hey, Mary, it’s a Tiara Cake! (And, because we’re able to pretty much throw them together from existing surplus cake parts, they are very economical!)
And the final cake is one we made for a customer who wanted a creative spin on the Cinderella story. While in the story, the Prince finds Cinderella by having the ladies of the kingdom try on a glass slipper, in this version the Prince and an evil King from another realm both search for Cinderella. Pictured here is the King (spelled out) and three poached eggs, all signifying that the King did not find Cinderella, and the yolk is on him.
The yellow sad monster cake - do you think they tried to make the Fantadroms robocat? Or was it some other yellow cartoon character that I was thinking of...
The yellow sad monster cake - do you think they tried to make the Fantadroms robocat? Or was it some other yellow cartoon character that I was thinking of...
I saw the I give up cake as a cat. But then I'm not a cat person.
The King cake looks like 3 turkeys chained a the neck. Nothing says 'Your the King' like shackled foul.
Well, at least the roses are pretty on cake #5 LOL!! I do have one small, but very important, question: What in the WORLD were they thinking making deviled eggs out of frosting on that "King" cake?!?!
p.s. - Jen, I saw one of the little jiggly guys from Flubber (the Robin Williams version) instead of a star stepping over a puddle.
@Heloise, I saw Shrek unhappy because he has jaundice, but same thing, essentially.
Is that a depressed Pikachu?
The "I give up" one is absolutely Jabba the Hutt - just after he has been told he will *never* be permitted to eat Princess Leia for breakfast.
That next-to-last one is an awesome Pikachu cake!
The deviled eggs on the King cake are a nice touch, but I'm not sure how that would taste. Hmm. I wonder if "King" refers to Elvis. Cakes decorated with deviled eggs sounds like something he might like and even if not, I'm starting this rumor anyway.
Yep, I see the star stepping over a puddle too.
And Sharyn, I see the Dalek too.
You know you might be a redneck royal if your cake looks less like something you might wear, and more like something you might live in...if it had wheels, that is.
The "Dakota" one looks more like the island of Oahu than a tiara.
Pikachu! I choose you! (I give up)
Yes, a Dalek! I love it.
Man, that tiara design never even looked good coming from Decopak in the beginning. The amount of grocery store clerks forced decorator that couldn't manage it doesn't suprise me much. Uck.
What in the heck ARE the color squiggles in the middle supposed to be?!
oh no, not King cakes!
Does that king cake have udders on its head??
Heloise - maybe not a monster but I can see a really sad Pokémon (that yellow one, I have no idea what was his name) ;)
The 7th one totally looks like the top of a Dalek.
The fifth one (the one after the dainty star stepping over a puddle) is the princess Cinco de Mayo CCC. Because it is not a tiara, it's a sombrero.
I also see the star but I think the "I give up cake" looks like Pikachu from Pokemon
Oh--oh--totally serious here, gang. I just found out Farley Mowat died. Now most of you are probably shaking your heads and saying, "WHO?" But some of you may know he was a Canadian writer, who wrote mostly about animals and nature, and focused much of his later life on conservation. He was enthusiastic in the efforts to stop the seal hunt in Canada.
What you may not know is that he wrote a few funny books along the way, too, and I read them, oh, in middle school, I think. "The Boat That Wouldn't Float" about the maritime provinces of Canada, but mostly Newfoundland, and "The Dog That Wouldn't Be", set in the prairie provinces and containing all sorts of animals, including two great horned owls who (I kid you not) used to go on convertible rides and slowly bounce up and down together.
He was my first window into new and different places, and I am truly saddened to hear he has gone. It is like a favorite uncle left suddenly. I have read pretty much everything he wrote, and I will treasure it.
Cake no. 4 looks to me like something that failed an audition for Sponge Bob Square Pants. Maybe it's stepping over a puddle of its tears?
We are not amused.
I'm baffled by the unique and oh so varied display of tri-coloured center blob units....mystifying and odd all at the same time...I can't look away from them...is this some kind of mind trick to lull me into a tiara trance?
Sara, when Madeleine L'Engle and Lloyd Alexander died the same year, I too felt like a favorite aunt and uncle left suddenly.
They're all so pretty! I just want to sing!
But I can't decide whether to sing about the Golden Helmet of Mambrino or put on my best Fudd voice and sing about My Spear and Magic Helmet with a side serve of Kill da Wabbit.
No, I think definitely the former.
All together now, slowly and with majesty! In harmony!
"Golden Hell-Met
of Mambree-No
There can BE no
Hat like thee!!!
Thee and I, now,
'Ere I die, now
Will make golden
His-tor-RY!!!!!!"
Incidentally, can anyone else hear the cuckoo singing in the cuckoo-berry tree?
I'm with the Pokemon crowd. It's a sad, mutant, demented Pikachu. Dresed like Barbie. Whose nose is on fire.
@Sharyn - Now that you've said that, I totally can't see the last princess cake as anything else!
My thoughts, not necessarily in order of "cakes":
A. I'm not sure why anyone wants to duplicate the first wreck... Oh, I mean tiara cake.
B. Dalek. Yes. It's a Dalek.
C. Star stepping over something? My first thought was misshapen state somewhere in the USA. Now that you mention star... I think it was trying to sneak off the board before anyone saw it. Exit, stage right.
That King Cake is actually a three-eyed alien in a cloak/cape.
The seventh picture looks like 9-Volt's helmet from WarioWare.
I am glad you were our interpreter for that adventure. I never would have guessed tiara in any of them.
SaraCVT, I've been sad about Farley Mowat all day. Read both of those books and of course "Never Cry Wolf".
Regarding the cakes: I do see a star stepping over a puddle, a very sad yellow animal with two ears and a head crest - or three horns, either way. To me, I see a Dalek in the King cake. :)
@SaraCTV: I’m sorry to hear about Farley Mowat. I knew him primarily through the movie “Never Cry Wolf.” Losing an author you love is a hard thing. I never knew, until a few years ago, who wrote some of my favorite books. He was a part of a group of writers whose work opened the universe to me, shaped my life, and ignited a passion for reading in me that has never flickered. His prose was concise, yet filled with action, and his simple stories dealt with the lives of everyday people, but they were magical to me.
His name was A. Sterl Artley, and he was one of the writers of the Dick and Jane books, the books about Dick, Jane, Sally, Spot, Puff and Mother and Father that introduced this wide-eyed, can’t-wait-to-learn, first grader to the incredibly wonderful world of reading. I haven’t stopped since.