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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Mar282014

What, No Waffles?

The nation of Belgium is presenting President Obama with a special gift during his visit this week:

The gift... of a cookie.

D'aww.

No, see, it's a really BIG cookie. A GIANT cookie. Five foot four inches, to be exact. And it's going to look just like him!

Oh, hush, Han.

 

Of course, when giving the president of the United States an enormous cookie effigy of himself, obviously a country turns to the very best. And I'm happy to report that the baker specially selected for the task took it very, very seriously:

"The hardest part will be the face," he told the press. "I will have to work on it centimeter per centimeter to work out all the details."

 

Wow. "Centimeter by centimeter?" Break out the world's biggest glass of milk, guys, 'cuz this thing's gonna ROCK!

Oooh, and here it comes now!!

Um...

[wincing] Oooh...

 

AAAAIIEE!

 

Oh.

 

Huh.

So tell us, Mr. President, how do you feel about cupcake cakes?

 

Thanks to Jenna W., who would like to point out that at least they managed to spell his name right.

*****

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Reader Comments (57)

No We Can't!

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Hail to the chips...

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

His name is the best looking part of this disaster. Oy gevalt!

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterZippy

Woah. I thought you were joking until I scrolled down, saw the "Obama" and then clicked on the link just to see. Seriously? This is all kinds of wrong. Nothing funny to contribute. Just flabbergasted.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPam B

Gee, not a single racial stereotype unbaked. With arms that long, no wonder the President likes basketball....

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPersephone

That is the result of "centimeter per centimeter" ? Belgians can be wonderful decorators, but not this one...

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

Wow...just...SMH...

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarole

Well, I hope the baker was going for "abstract." I mean, The right hand looks like it has 3 fingers, and the left hand looks like it has 5 fingers, with the thumb tucked behind.

I hope it tastes good.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

All that wreckorator badness, and all I can think is, "What's up with all the ones?" What am I missing/

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

Why is his butt on the front??? I am so confused!

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Though, it must be difficult for him to play basketball with a foot attached to his left elbow.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEmma

The linked story says that this cake was designed by 64 year old baker Willy Van Oers. No doubt the President will want to bring this home to show and share with others. This will, of course, require several Secret Service agent escorts in order to make sure the cookie gets home in one piece. Because of its unique size and delicate nature, I’m sure it will quite a challenging task to protect the President’s Willy.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Evidently Belgian centimeters are different than American centimeters.

Belgians, Begians, measuring the centimeters
You and your arithmetic, you'll probably "go far."
Belgians, Belgians, measuring the President
Seems to me you'd stop and see how off you really are.

(From Inchworm lyrics)

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

@SuBee- BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

The Secret Service destroys all gifts of food and drink to protect the First Family. Hope they can destroy this before the Obamas actually see it. *wincing* Really, Belgium?

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterZeldabird

Cookie Monster! COOKIEEEE!

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

Is this a declaration of war?

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I just want to know...

who has a cookie sheet that big, anyway?

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKae

@mel: The baker also thoughtfully made a number of Secret Service cookies as escorts.(Oh, and: The President's Willy? Not gonna touch that one -- take that any way you want...)

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

And people mocked the President for giving the Queen of England an iPod with his speeches on it....

I was completely sure this was an Onion story. Or a cookie not done to give to the President. Belgium should have stuck with waffles.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

Well...I...Ummm... I don't even know what to say O.o

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

This is a joke, right? Right?!

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Good question Kae? And, I'm with you mindy1 -- what did we ever do to you, Belgium?! Wait'll you see the horrific waffle wreck of your leader which our wreckerators are designing as we speak!! We have the world's foremost wreckerators in this great country, so Belgium had just better watch it!

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

@Sharyn: I'm glad to hear they decided to make the Secret Service cookies...last I heard they hadn't made up their minds and were still waffling on that.... As for the President's Willy...well, I'm just reporting a fact, and I ain't gonna touch it either....

PS: Is this what they mean when they talk about "cookie cutter diplomacy"?

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

That's it? That's actually it? Belgium actually presented this to our president? With a straight face? Seriously????

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Oy, the stereotypes....

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterwildmaven

At the 1924/5 British Empire Exhibition at Wembley, there was a life-sized statue of the Prince of Wales made of butter, a loyal tribute from New Zealand. The Prince went on to become the useless King Edward VIII; not sure whether the butter icon played any part in his failure.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTachybaptus

@TLC: I agree; that hand IS pretty weird! It actually reminds me of the MAD Poiuyt (from MAD magazine). If you've never seen it, Google MAD Poiuyt. =^0.o^=

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I read somewhere that when other countries think of America they think of Justin Bieber. Maybe that's the problem here. But seriously, has Willy **snicker** (thanks @mel!) never seen a picture of the PRESIDENT of the United States!?!?!

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Well, wow. WHY IS HE PLAYING BASKETBALL?! OMG #facepalm

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLisa S.

When's the Sunday Sweets cookie edition?? ;)

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPeanut

I never thought anything could EVER make CCCs seem acceptable. Then this came along...

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

I wonder how you'd eat this cookie. Maybe a group of people shut their eyes and drop it on the floor to break into pieces. If the cookie tastes good it doesn't matter how not pretty it is.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

Mommy, I'm Skeeered!

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLeta

Does anyone know if this baker is human? Because I don't recall anyone who has knees that bend to the side.... I mean racial stereotyping is one thing but forgetting which way knees bend??

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNaughty Nautilus

@Persephone Regarding the basketball? He does play fairly often, seems to be one of his hobbies.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKevin

Errrrm... most gratuitous use of "Belgium" in a blog post? No... no, they really did this. Oh man...

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterL

That's just awful. Could they fit more stereotypes into one cookie?

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJill B

Thet should stick with waffles.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEvelyn

And it's not even made out of chocolate.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBeth B.

Dear god, people, do your research.
This cookie was presented by a radio station in Belgium.
It's speculoos, a type of cookie that's very common here, but so uncommon at other places that it doesn't even hade a propper English translation (I thing gingerbread is most comparable to it)
It's NOT a diplomatic gift. Nobody was insulted by it, and there was nothing wrong until American newspapers pulled it out of context and made it into a big drama.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterallknowing

Can we notice that, just to add insult to injury, those flag-styled pennants actually break our flag code with their design? Oh, Belgium...

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJay

Ricketts. Why does he have Ricketts???

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkmac

Is this perhaps a brilliant piece of a post-modern parody symbolizing the disappointed expectations of the Obama legacy?

-- or perhaps does the state-appointed baker really think that President Obama has the same nose as Bert from Sesame Street?

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterScott Zaboem

I think his butt is on backwards,

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRivergoddess

@FluffyCow, I appreciate how you managed to find a butt joke in the controversy.

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterScott Zaboem

5 foot 4 inches? That's my height. O_O. Well....... nice legs you made there.. is Obama suffering from arthritis lately?

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteraffy

It could have been worse.
I'm just not sure how. :(

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNight Owl

@ allknowing--Umm, sorry...

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Ah, allknowing, thanks for that explanation. Now I get it. The radio station employees are not used to people actually SEEING anything they do...

March 28, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

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