Disenchantment Under the Sea
August 1, 2013 ;)
I'm telling you, things just haven't been the same here since Ariel opted for a water delivery!
♫ A sea birth ain't always keener
;)
Sometimes it's a big mistake.
There's stuff you just can't unsee there
;)
It even upset the hake.
Just look at the fish around you
;)
She freaked 'em out by the score!
The squid even lost an eye now -
;)
"Don't want it anymore."
Under the sea!
;)
[Oh my, Dory!]
What did we see?
;)
[Under the sea!]
Childbirth ain't better,
just 'cause it's wetter
;)
Take it from me!
Up on the shore it works OK.
Just let the doctors earn their pay!
'Cause if we're voting
;)
"It was revolting!"
;)
Under the sea! ♫
;)
[plop!]
Thanks to Carolann, Elizabeth G., Tiffany G., Nicole & Koren S., Angela G., Amy R., Trish L., Pon T., Chris, and James N., for not watering down their labors of love. (And, yes, the octopus is very well done... which is probably why it's creeping me out so much.)
Reader Comments (63)
It is rather fun to think of all but one wreck reacting in horror to that one wreck. Maybe that's toddler Ursula.
On that sixth cake, did they use up all of the leftover frosting in the bakery on that one cake, just to get rid of it? I counted at least 9 different colors of frosting, as well as 3 different shapes of sprinkles.
The colors of frosting on all of the other cakes are questionable, too. As much as I love cake, I would have to say, "No, thanks" if offered a slice of any of these.
Is that last one a spoof on baby butt cakes?! GENIUS. Though not a "wreck" I feel it appropriate in the under the sea post. Hilarious!
I don't know...I kind of love that last cake. It reminds me of that episode of Family Guy where there's a nuclear fallout and Stewie turns into a squid-baby. I wonder if I can find someone to do that for my baby shower...
Wait.. is that last octopus cake a baby butt cake? With an octopus butt? Oh my... Just checking.
I kinda like that 2nd cake. Kinda cute and the air brushing is such that it almost looks like the whole thing is lit up from the inside.
I could see a cute animated puffer fish that looks like him being a great comedy attraction in a Little Mermaid episode.
I have to agree with @Classic Steve though - that does sort of look like baby Ursula. In an extremely creepy and "keep it away from me" way, it is appealing.
As for the rest, just looking at them makes me want to reach for a bottle of pepto...and given how much I abhor that stuff, that's saying something!
Wow! You have outdone yourself with this one! :)
Poor sebastian will be moving into the acquarium after this trauma.
The red icing fish of death is interesting as well. Kardashian lips and a fatal level of red food coloring!
holy carp! what ON EARTH (or under water) could possibly possess someone to do the "octopus in diapers" cake?? I'm so disturbed...
I have to imagine there's someone in this world who's a sucker fior a well-made octopus arm cake.
I agree with Hey Nony Ne...I really like that second cake. And, if it hadn't have been squished somewhat, the second-to-last one might be kinda cute too. The color on the body of the grey/green squid though is revolting!
The second cake is kinda cute - looks like a nite lite.
The baby butt tentacles cake is GENIUS!
Have these people never seen a fish??
Like the puffer fish (#2). LOVE the baby octopus. It's not a wreck but it works perfectly.
If the red lips (#4) is not an inflatable vinyl pillow — and I'm not convinced it isn't — it is very well done. It even has seams along the lips where the plastic was bonded together. I can envision someone bringing in pictures of the plastic lips-chair that is a running family joke and asking for a cake that looks like it — with eyes.
What is supposed to be wrong with cakes #2 and #8?
That poor first baby looks like someone cut off his front two legs, then sort of placed them gently in front of the baby. O_O indeed.
On the squid cake, I was looking closely to see if they'd thrown some sliced black olives on there. Never underestimate the garnishes of a lazy wreckerator!
Most excellent post, Jen!
I knew it was coming... it was all leading somewhere... then the last one!!! OMG I snorted and cried laughing!
The puffer cake hit home with me. In the Navy, I was on the USS Puffer, SSN 652. The Ursula? cake is pure genius. The rest of them "Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water" (with apologies to Steven Spielberg)
That third-to-last one is both bad and good at the same time! I think it's supposed to be some kind of gar. Those have manky, ugly rough skins sort of like that depicted. the baker got some good texture going underneath the thin greenish frosting. It would be hard to eat though, due to its ugliness. Also, what the heck is up with the (possibly) rum balls? Is the fish eating them as bait? Or, is it chewing on a rock, right under its mouth? Confusing...
Thanks a lot @Sharyn. I've spent YEARS trying to get that song out of my head and in less than 2 minutes you've completely destroyed all my hard work. Well done!
I'm pretty sure the second one is glow in the dark.
The bright blue one kinda scares me. It's mostly cute and all but I'm not sure what that color would do to ones digestive system (and I'm not willing to find out!)
I'm with mindy1, I don't think these people have ever seen a fish.
1) Jen is officially the Intertoobz Ghoddess for using "Hake" in a blog post.
2) What ARE those brown, roundish things next to the Zombie Pike? (Do I want to know?)
3) The fish in that second-to-last cake seems to have gotten hold of the umbilical cord...
4) I want the Cthulhu tentacle baby cake. It rocks.
If I am ever pregnant again, I am totally finding someone to make that tentacle baby butt cake. That is genius.
Augh! My all-time favorite classic Disney movie is violated by these cakes! Thanks a lot. No really, thanks a lot for real, this post is hilarious! :D
Thanks for the ear worm, Sharyn! Great job!
These are all cute, funny, and wrong, all at the same time. Perfect wrecks, I'd say! :-)
On second glance, are those octopus tentacles coming out of a baby diaper? Is THIS why the song is about giving birth unda da sea? ;)
Eating that ultra blue fish would leave you looking hypothermic for the day.
Since I'm actively (though not right as I type this, of course) trying to conceive, I'm so bookmarking this post to have the last cake for a baby shower. It's somehow less disturbing than human baby bottom cakes. Way less.
Oh my. Just because a cake is done well, doesn't mean it SHOULD be done! I'm going to have nightmares about those tentacles!!!
I just listened to that song last night as part of my impromptu Disney medley; now it's stuck in my head again. Thanks. :P
I odn't know exactly why, but 'It even upset the hake' made me laugh, and laugh, and laugh...
Think I may adopt this as an everyday phrase. 'I've eaten enough to upset a hake', for example.
I've seen enough Hentai to see where this was going ;)
Both my babies were born under water. If I ever have another, he or she will be, too. I definitely need an octopus baby cake next time around! :P As if water birth didn't freak out the inlaws enough... Muahahaha!
I loved the baby octobutt cake though !!! <3
I love the pufferfish cake! I think it's absolutely adorable
:::standing ovation:::
That last one reminds me of Men in Black.
Oh dear, someone's love affair with Lovecraft has gone a little too far. (Dear, don't read the Necronomicon when you're expecting...)
Also, ew. Fish + cake is just bad. OTOH, I'm no longer hungry...
Heart Cthulu Baby!
Disappointed in your lyrics theme. I know water births sound "weird, but people opt for them because they reduce the pain significantly with no side effects for mom or baby. I feel like maybe Sebastian and the other sea life could be a bit more supportive of Ariel's birthing choices.
I love the commentary. I could totally sing along with it. Thanks for the smile today.
Baby Octopus rump cake = BEST CAKE EVAH! Maybe it's Baby Cthulhu?
Great post, Sharyn. Congradumations on the raise, @Jodee! Did they have cake?
#1 The 'crab' looks decidedly egg-shaped to me, making this another example of pan repurposing gone wild.
#2 This would be a great night light for a child -- a child you're training to have nightmares, anyway.
#3 Bad Joke Eel after that espresso tanker went down in rough seas.
#4 This one looks inflatable, down to the 'seams' on the lips. Let's sea, massively red fish on an oil spill? Unless one knows how certain colors of frosting metabolize, one's local walk-in clinic could experience a sudden spike in business.
#5 Please tell me those are not olive slices.
#6 Needs something -- maybe sprinkles or some flotsam.
#8 One's local walk-in clinic must have sponsored this one. "Moohahahahaha."
#9 Dear cod, what is that thing?
#10 And the award for 'most disgusting use of a gummi worm' goes to...
#11 Though well-executed (someone should be behind this), it is presumably Jen-approved, thus still a wreck per the Bylaws. Theardare is pacing...
@Craig ~ I'm wearing a sweater in your general direction today. Hey, it's a little chilly up here in the PNW!
@sendingtheclowns ~ I'd wear one in your direction too but I don't know which direction that is. o.O
I really want that puffer fish in plush so I can keep it on my desk and look at it all day.
I see that someone
solved the Mermaid Problem, eh?
I'll have the tako.
(Thanks to Sharyn for my last line today!)
This would have been a really fabulous post without the commentary on water birth. Fish do everything in water ;) . The last cake is the best.
I'm usually just a lurker, but this post was extra-brilliant!
That octopus tentacle baby-bum cake was an homage to baby-bum cakes, created by a NOT PROFESSIONAL (but should be) cake decorator for his baby shower (the baby doesn't have tentacles, but she does have the cutest little legs). That cake was also freakin' delicious. He is an extraordinarily excellent professional cook and artist, and very eloquent on the subject of food and cooking. You should check out his blog: http://lookouthesgotaknife.com/ and if you're in the Greater Toronto Area and you want to hire him, drop him a line and you might get lucky.
That last one really isn't so bad. It genuinely looks like an pink octopus tentacle. It's fairly close to what we see here on Sundays, you gotta admit.
BEST baby butt octopus cake I've ever seen!!
(Er, only baby butt octopus cake I've ever seen . . . but maybe it will start a trend?)
Tell me the "revolting" one is a Slaughterfish from the Skyrim video game!! That would be such an awesome grooms cake, and if it is then it's actually perfectly done. The bon-bons in front would be the slaughterfish eggs which you can find on the riverbanks and are harvestable for use in creating potions.
I WANT a baby butt octopus cake! That may be worth having another baby for. Maybe.
Or maybe I'll just have one made for my birthday and confuse all my friends.
@Craig - Actually, the octopus baby bum cake shouldn't count as a 'wreck', not just because it's awesome, but because it's not technically a 'professional cake'. The guy who made this is an exceptionally talented cook and artist, but he doesn't work as a cake decorator nor was this cake commissioned and paid for by someone else. I don't know where Jen found this photo (did someone send it in for Sunday Sweets?), but it's definitely not a wreck by any stretch of the imagination.