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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jun142013

Celebrating A Farther Day

[running in]

Quick! Farther's Day is coming! DO SOMETHING!!

"......."

 

DO SOMETHING ELSE!

[wide-eyed side stare]

 

Look, here's some random sports-related flotsam. Just try to tie it all together somehow.

PERF.

 

Oh, and be sure to spell it right: it's FARTHER'S day. See?

 

So not Fathder's Day:

 

FARTHER'S day:

 

K, now you try.

Nooo...

 

Getting warmer...

 

BINGO.

 

And now, BIG FINISH!

[crickets chirping]

 

BIGGER FINISH!!

"Super TAT?"

Ok, sure. Let's go with that.

 

Happy Farther's Day, everyone!

 

Thanks to Melissa W., Heather B., Karen M., Jacob M., Jack L., Laure T., Leslie P., Nikki M., Molli M., Sara H., & Angela P. for at least not mixing it up with "further"- because, seriously, that is the WORST.

« Sunday Sweets: Dad's Day | Main | What A Dad Wants »

Reader Comments (91)

The first cake is, unfortunately a DQ Strawberry Chessequake cake:( Those are cheesecake pieces. Thank god it didn't come from my store:(

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDQJane

@Sharyn: *AWESOME*, maybe?! =^~.~^=
=========================================
@zoomom; We should alert the Proper Authorities regarding this "Crouton Situation"! I'm thinking the EPA, ERA, EDT, RFD, and possibly even the PTA.! Let's DO this, ASAP! *turns and runs*
=^-.-^=

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Sharyn is fabulous, once again. I always look for her songs. At least the croutons are edible unlike the plastic bits of flotsom and curly ribbon. As for the "inky" pocket - that dad isn't an engineer or he would own a pocket protector.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKim

I would much rather those be croutons than my first thought, chicken cubes. Guess I eat too many chicken Caesar salads.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

@Sharyn: DAYam, you are so GOOD at that! I don't know all the latest "buzzwords" because I was born during the Jurassic period. But, if "earworm" means something that you couldn't get out of your head without a shotgun, then yeah-it's that. But in a GOOD way!
=^~.~^=

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I'm so glad I'm not the only one who thought "Are there croutons on that cake?!" I said that out loud and my husband looked at me funny.
HIM: "There aren't croutons on that cake."
ME: "This is Cake Wrecks; you never know."
HIM: "..."
ME: "Look, someone else thought so too!!!"
HIM: "..."
ME: "I'm just saying. You never can tell with wrecks."

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSabs

croutons or fried tofu... hmmm

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterfmg

That first cake is not professional. It can't be! Surely little Billy or Sally was given the chance to decorate a cake for Daddy, hence the sloppy presentation, shaky writing (Mom was there to help the little urchins spell Father correctly) and smattering of croutons atop the cake. That's the only thing that makes sense to me.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercal331

Weighing in on the Great Farther's Day 2013 EPCOT Controversy(tm):

They look a little too "bready" to be cheesecake bites. Maybe bits of cinnamon roll chopped up into sweet croutons?

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

#1: Ah, yes. I remember that particular Father's Day of 1979. That's the time Father's Day fell on Backwards Day. That there is a puddle of icing with the cake (otherwise thought to be croutons) on the OUTSIDE. Please do not make fun of this traditional cultural celebration.

#2: Dads love getting ties for Father's Day, but what they love even MORE? Plastic ties on cakes for Father's Day.

#3: Is it even possible to have a dad that roots for the Red Sox AND the Patriots? Isn't there some kind of law against that?

#4: A game of Pick Up Sticks on cake.

#5: Actually, that is one of the best uses of a CCC (patooie!) that I recall seeing. The screwdriver is an odd addition, and the spelling of 'Father's' is unfortunate, but otherwise a nice, er, set of cakes.

#6: All I can think of is sparkly poop.

#7: THIS is how they FIXED it? facepalm

#8: Even with the aid of concentric circles, still off target.

#9: Did they only have ONE strawberry left to decorate that thing?

#10: Has no wreckerator ever seen balloons?

#11: @Joel Polowin: My thoughts exactly! Haha!

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

@Sharyn: Gosh, girl--you is Gooood. HOW do you come up with this stuff? Anyway, it's fun to "listen" to your renditions! I'd call them "Wreckditions," (ONLY because of where we are), but they're too good.
You must have been born with a silver stanza in your mouth.
=^~.~^=

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

An EPCOT over croutons? Most impressive Jen!

@Sharyn ~ I refuse to give in to the temptation and read that for fear I'll have that song stuck in my head for the rest of the day. I made the mistake of watching the YouTube video of the military guys doing their remake of the video and now that's all I can think of when I hear the song. Dammit!!! Ok, since it's now TO LATE to stop the earworm I'll go back and read it. ***scrolling up*** o.O That just made it worse! Well done my friend!

The balloonish thingy's are really scary. The first thing I noticed was the faces. **shudder**

@BADKarma **blink blink** Thanks for the visual **blink blink**

I'm so glad single moms don't have to worry about Farther's Day cakes O.O

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

re the second cake: looks like dad's pen leaked in his shirt pocket - again. all the ones with father spelled farther - thank goodness for the h.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjane lewis

@Becka:" herby/sweet...the new salty/sweet..." Does sound cool, but I kill for sweet & salty!! And what really hoochies my coochie is the combination of CHOCOLATE and something salty, like pretzels, or Bugles (cue Homer Simpson doing his "Aauuurrgghh, drooling,tongue-hanging-out, thinking-about-food" thing.) =^-.~^=

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Just came here to offer the obligatory Happy Falker Satherhood(underloined in grean). Heck I will even add some "balloons," ya know, for effect.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEvan

Huh! Interesting! I just noticed that the yellow, screwdriver-wielding CCC here is almost in the SAME "configuration" as the brown CCC in the "Princess Bride" post on 6/10.(!!!) It must have something to do with the age-old "How many same-sized round things can fit in a rectangle of specific dimensions and still keep its pictorial integrity?" conundrum.
=^e.e^=

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

The first one is a DQ ice cream cake w/cheesecake bits on it. You can see it's starting to melt, that's why the border icing is slipping down the sides.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAunt4god

@ Just Andrea:You asked, "Is it even possible to have a dad that roots for the Red Sox AND the Patriots? Isn't there some kind of law against that?" and got me totally confused, as in "Completely confused," or "SO confused" or "HUH?" See, the Patriots do football, and the Red Sox do baseball.
So, sure-he can root for both. Only at different times. 'Kay? ((looks around for hidden camera))
=^?.?^=

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Was it just me or does the green "balloon" look especially sad?

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJeanette

The first one is either croutons or squares of tofu. Maybe it's for the vegan dad?? Maybe???

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

@ Evan: I had ((GASP!!)) actually FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT "Falker Satherhood"!!!" (underloined in grean or otherwise!!) :-( ((SAD!))
Well, at least YOU remembered. What a big SWEETIE!! If you don't mind my asking, what COLOR(S) are the balloons? (I'm only asking, ya know, for effect.)
=^u.u^=

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Mmmm, croutons with warm strawberries....

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I have to say thank you for your loving tributes this week to Father's Day. I have been working with donated children's clothing for a while, so I have been seeing a ton of infant and toddler clothing lately, nearly all of which has loving, snarky, and icky references to mommy. I nearly wept when I finally actually saw a garment that said, "I love my daddy," and I realized it was because for the past eight weeks or so I hadn't seen a single reference in this peculiar genre of "literature" that acknowledged that fathers even existed (no, the abominable term "babbydaddy" does NOT count).

So, again, thank you.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

@Tina: Wow-your "Ex-husband Follies" remind me of MY ex! He was a little *odd*...he'd been in Nat'l Guard for short stint, and I recall him telling me about how they went on "Night Removers" (his not-even-trying-to-be-funny, stone-cold-serious way of pronouncing "maneuvers.") He actually had his own, special little dictionary in his head. What a strange and magical land that was...
=^g.g^=

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I'm rootin' for croutons... placed there to help Dad remember his salad days......

@SuBee -- that was a gas!
@Sharyn -- doth thy talent know no bounds?
@Maria -- I think you've cracked the crouton conspiracy!

And, finally, my favorite, too: to all the dads: Falker Satherhood...!

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

@khereva: Well, that IS a miserable state of affairs! Why should this be so? HOW did it become so prevalent? I would just about give up a limb to NEVER AGAIN hear that moronic term that you mentioned. Heaven help us~and the poor,innocent little ones.I'm going to pick up my toys & go home for a while; this crap is making me sad.=^u.u,^=

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

OT: Happy Day to all the fathers out there!

(we now return to our regularly scheduled programming)
the yellow ccc (patooie) with the screw driver- so realieved someone else saw it as barbed wire- I was freakin' myself out

@drgns4vr "typewronger" took reading twice to sink in- LOVE IT

@Maria nice crouton story but I believe in Occam's Razor: the simplest theory is the correct one. Therefore, the wreckerators simply hate us all.

June 14, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Ah the poor dad's that get these cakes. I took another look at the first cake. I am so hoping those are cheese cake bites lol. If not.. that wreckerator must love salad and wants the customers to eat healthy. Ugh just at that thought alone lol.

June 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Those are the saddest ... balloons ... ever.

June 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commentergobblergobbler

Can't...stop...laughing...

June 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArasay

I was ready to run to the lab and create an 'untaste' machine over the strong mental image created by croutons on cake when someone mentioned 'cheesecake', thus restoring normality with a single word. I need to remember that word the next time things get out of hand at The Bunker.

It has been quite a while since we had an Epcot; I am pleased to note that this one was comparatively civil. No SHOUTING or threats to stop reading CW forever with thirteen exclamation points, just the redundant observation that is the essence of Epcot. Who knows how it might have turned out if they really had been croutons. Deep-fried croutons, at that. Mwahahaha.

Although someone did have to go and invoke the SL...

June 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Hi Craig!!! Where have you been?! Been missing your astute, erudite, & informative posts/lists! :-)

(And kudos to Jen for her *excellent* post, Sharyn's lovely parody, SuBee, Jodee, mel, Just Andrea & all the rest as always!) :-)

June 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

That last one may look like it says TAT but if you look, there is blue icing making the semi circles to make the word Dad

June 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChristel

@ Craig:
"Who knows how it might have turned out if they really had been croutons."

And you don't know for SURE that they WEREN'T... now, DO you? heh heh...
=^e.e^=

June 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

My favorite is definitely Fhather's day.

June 15, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersparkling74

@Craig I prefer croutons to cheesecake- even ON a cake. (sigh) Can we stick with donuts/doughnuts when the bunker gets out of hand?

June 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

All right, everybody into the bunker! I'll bring the salad and dressing. I see that we already have croutons. *Ducks to avoid the cake and croutons being thrown at her*

June 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRhonda

All right, everybody into the bunker! I'll bring the salad and dressing. I see that we already have croutons. *Ducks to avoid the cake and croutons being thrown at her*

June 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRhonda

Farther's Day - as opposed to Closer's Day? Or is it really about money, and they meant to put Farthing's day, as a celebration of old coinage? (because we all know it's really all about money in the end, right?)

Anyways, Happy Falker Satherhood everyone!

June 16, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPauline

@sendingtheclowns: Erm, I was going to try to pretend that post didn't happen. Yes different sports, but I was thinking the Patriots and Red Sox were from rival cities. As it turns out they are the NEW ENGLAND Patriots, which is practically the same thing as Boston, right? : o P

June 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

As previously mentioned (though I probably shouldn't, since we're facing an Epcot), the first cake is a DQ strawberry cheesecake (or "Strawberry Cheesequake," as dqjane said, and I'd assume she'd know the proper term) ice cream cake, and the "croutons" are cheesecake bits. Every time I go to Dairy Queen, I see some of those in the freezer (much better looking than this one, fortunately) and marvel at how very much the cheesecake bites look like croutons.

I've never seen such a poorly decorated DQ cake, though part of it seems to be because it melted a bit. Oh, but hey, at least they spelled everything right! (This website has given me such low expectations...)

June 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAurora

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