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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
May302013

Hungry Like A Wolf

Just when you thought bakeries had FINALLY run out of those angsty Twilight photos:

"Hey girl, sorry my rippling pectorals are covered up by this Snuggie, but I want you to know that this lone wolf is educated now, and that means no more hunting chickens on the full moon, or shedding on the duvet, or turning in circles five times before I can take a nap. That's right, grrrrl; I'm a changed man! Look at this neckface: would I lie to you?" 

 

Sharee N. tells me she found this in a bakery display window, so I guess that's one small step for recycling, and one giant leap backwards for those of us easily startled.

So... thanks a LOT, Sharee. [twitch]

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Reader Comments (49)

You'd think artists had never cracked perspective... Either that or he's balancing a cushion on his head. I had a friend at college used to do that. Found it soothing. Which the recipient of this cake might need help with.

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

This wreck didn't even need a caption. One look and I laughed out loud.

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

Looks like Little Red Riding Hood has finally met her match -- the Big Grad Wolf.

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

The best part for me are those feet--no wonder he's a werewolf; he NEEDS to be able to use all four limbs!

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I showed this wreck to my mom. Her comment? It looks like a chimpanzee. :-)

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMyra

I thought that was Anakin Skywalker

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDavid

My first thought? ROAD KILL!

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPatti

Okay, if Jacob really had been a neck faced, Snuggie wearing werewolf with who was struggling to graduate with honers despite his disability (giant poop feet), I think twilight would have been, like, the best book ever.

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHolly Folly

Literal LOL @Sharyn! You win!!!
I think my 13-year-old girl child has that picture on her phone. Well, the one without the weird feet and hands. I can't be the only one who counted the fingers, right?

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Sharyn - Thanks. I nearly snorted coffee out my nose.

That said, I think "The Big Grad Wolf" should go viral and become an internet meme.

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I can't stop laughing at this cake. I keep scrolling back up to the picture and giggling all over again.

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMaryGrace

I'm sorry, but I would TOTALLY consider buying that. It is awesome in its suckitude. I can't stop laughing. The smoldering eyes, the apparently chronic shrug, the cap worn on it's point (which, is that subtle commentary on the state of our country's education system when a graduate cannot figure out how to put on his cap?), the Snuggie, the hands, the feet made in rings like a tree...BWAHAHAHAHA!

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

Golly I haven't laughed like this in a good long time. Thanks ROtFl

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDiana C

It's too bad I have already ordered cakes for my son's party Saturday and he knows what I ordered. Otherwise, I would show him this and torment him by telling him I ordered it for his party. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The hands. . . .the feet. . . . Did someone roll over him with a steam roller, thinking this was a new remedy for vampires?

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Thanks, Jen. Now I will have Duran Duran tunes running through my head all day. (Do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do do Do do...)

I would just like to add, if I may, that if you are noticing a reddish glow in the north it is me blushing after reading all the lovely comments left about my TARDIS cake yesterday. Thanks guys! You really made my day! (I left a comment on yesterday's post, too. I just thought I would add this here too, so you really know how much I appreciate your kind words. :-) )

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Also, Jen, I would really like to let you know how much I appreciate that you let us get all off-topic and stuff here in the comments. My hubby said it when we met you in Toronto and it really is true; you have created a wonderful community here! Thank you so much for the daily laughter (cuz you is all kinds of funny!) and for letting us all play along!

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

I'm waiting to see what song Sharyn comes up with for this?

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBrisdmek

I liked him better when he was stupid...

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I'm with Patti. I imagine a cartoon steamroller just ran over him.

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWill

To Jennie, who remarked:
"You'd think artists had never cracked perspective..."

Well, I'm sure that they have, but I'm just a bit confused, dear. What in the world do "artists" have to do with any of THIS?
=^-.-^=

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

I wish there were a like button by the posts. "Big Grad Wolf" would have numbers off the chart. The cake - not so much.

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

And as long as we're taking a survey as to why the grad looks so angry--Oh, we're not? Well, then, I'll start one:
I submit that
"The Grad looks So Angry" BECAUSE:
1.He isn't terribly pleased that his hands look like feet.
2.He also isn't too-too thrilled that his actual feet look like cow flops.
3.He is mortified that his mortarboard has no tassel, so he won't have anything to flip to the other side on signal at the end of the ceremony (they always do that).
4.#3 means that he'll have to flip... something else.

(Other than All That, how was the graduation....?)

=^-.-^=

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@Shirley: Yes, the cake alone is funny, but if you ask me, the caption more than doubled the fun!

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

At least it is spelled correctly. [ducks and runs]

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

It is a cellular peptide cake. With mint frosting.

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMerrilee

I thought he was one of the Green Bay Cheeseheads and had graduated to Blue Cheese.

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

She said Neck Face! ahahahahhahahahhaha!

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLori

I made it to "snuggie" and was overcome, head in my hands, laughing in that way you do when you're nearly hysterical and there's no sound and you might just be crying. That's when my co-worker walked into my office. By the time I looked up, she was very concerned.

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjen in maine

@Craig, you like to live dangerously don't you? I'm thinking even Gossamer isn't going to save you from Jen's death glare this time...

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

I think he is in pain....his poop feet look like they hurt. And those crushed/deformed hands...how does he use them? Really....if you had not said twilight, I would not have know who it was....

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJerry aka grandmajer

What on earth...I can't even comprehend this cake

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Hahaha...neckface

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

I have learned not to drink coffee while reading Cake Wrecks. Snuggie and neckface bahahahaha

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSam

I just- I dunno. I'm giggling in that nervous, anxious way I get when I'm truly not certain I can be trusted to be kind. Sometimes, I feel the evil emerging and that poor, poor cake...I feel for it. I do.

BUT IT SUX!!

@Craig, I'd love to see a 7ft tall wrestler ducking and running simultaneously. Quite the visual. Couldn't be worse than this poor, poor cake (which looks like, but is not, a CCC [patooie]).

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

I'm trying to figure out how they could turn this into a "bad wolf" alien for Doctor Who... shouldn't be too hard ;)

May 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Oh how my brain exploded upon seeing whatever this thing is lol. Scary and weird is all I can think of at the moment since my brain has jumped out a window lol.

May 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

@sendingtheclowns: Ok, I was already chuckling at the word 'neckface', but then I came to 'cow flops' and couldn't stop giggling. Never heard them referred to that way before, but hilarious. :) After reading all the comments I scrolled back up to look at the cake again, and it's just too much!

May 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

@Sharyn -
With graduations just around the corner,"The Big Grad Wolf" is just plain perfect.
It's cute and funny, and (unless they're too sophisticated) I'll bet a lot of high school kids will grab it and run with it.
=^~.~^=

May 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

On the "plus" side, he's clearly been flattened by a steamroller inside that snuggie, and someone dropped a large, pointy block onto his head, so maybe we shouldn't have to worry about seeing him again anytime soon?

May 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCharlie

@Merrilee : Nice reference. If this was the cake in Data's dream...I'm not even sure how to finish this thought.

Also, now I am imagining a new trend of graduation stripper cakes.

May 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commentertreksifter

His hat is to big, his hands look like blobs, and his feet look like hamburgers


(All and all, it looks pretty crummy.)

June 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChocgirl

@ Melanie: So, I had you at "cow flops," huh? I guess I'd been assuming that most of the free world knew that particular term. Why, I have no idea...but what the hay! If the *it* fits, flop it ! Mine IS to a large degree a farming/dairy-oriented state, so I suppose I just grew up amidst the culture. (?) =^~.-^=)

June 1, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Twilight Boy's just mad because he didn't actually graduate. They just dressed him up to make him feel better. The diploma is actually an Arby's menu.

June 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAddy DelaMorte

LooooooooL

June 2, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterOmo Dem Say

This had me ROLLING with laughter, tears streaming down my face. The cake was funny, and "neckface" took me way over the edge. AMAZING.

June 7, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTina M

Hahahaha! Yeah, the cake was bad enough, but the description about had me spitting out my coffee all over the computer screen. OMG the dog references and the "neckface". Classic.

July 15, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTami

Frankenstein mates the Werewolf?

November 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDoug Frazier

In this form...I'm called...GRAD WOLF. Bonus geek points if you get the reference.

March 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

The Who reference had me rolling. TheCreepyTribble is boss.

May 9, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlooming shadow

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