Graduated Layers
May 23, 2013 Graduation season is upon us, my friends, and I for one couldn't be happier. Not only do I get to revel in the fact that I'm a "prefessional adult" who's DONE with school [NEENER NEENER], I also get an excuse to drag out some of the old grad wrecks I never got around to posting.
Here's one from the last Ice Age in internet terms, aka ten years ago:
;)
That was the year we learned to ix-nay on the unfortunate onograms-may.
Skipping forward a ways, we come to "2009":
;)
Year of the "Dipolma" and "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks.
In 2010 we had a fresh crop of Permedics celebrate their "gradudlion:"
;)
It's a tough call, but I'm pretty sure "Gradudlion" is my new favorite misspelling. The trick is to put the emPHAsis on the second sylLAble, like this: GraDUDlion. And then pronounce the end bit "leon" instead of "lion." Go on. Say it with me: GraDUDlion. GraDUDlion. [Ignore those co-workers; they're just jealous.] Now once more, with feeling! GRADUDLION!! YEAH!
[looking around]
[sitting back down]
[patting hair back in place]
K, where were we? Oh, yes: 2011. The year we learned that only the very BEST cakes get reserved for store displays:
The grace. The dignity. The spacing.
(First one to say, "But at least it's spelled right!" gets the patented Jen Death Glare. DON'T TEST ME, PEOPLE.)
In 2012 bakers broadened their horizons by combining the fine art of Dali-esque surrealism with a post-modern monochromatic aesthetic:
;)
I call it, "Tar Donkey Butt-Peeing."
So what will the 2013 grad season bring? Well, I hate to speculate, buuuut...
;)
I've got a pretty good feeling about it.
("Graguates gradudlying! Graguates gradudlying!!")
Thanks to Stephanie F., Jen S., Alana G., Brittany R., Daffny A., and Julia A. for gradudlyating at the top of today's class.
Reader Comments (83)
But that black one is such a bargain for the price!
Kankakee's airport code is IKK (which I'd pronounce "ick"). Looking that up gave me to catch my breath after laughing up a lung over the "tar donkey".
Tar donkey butt peeing, giggle giggle giggle
The decorator obviously didn't "graguate".... just sayin.... I had a customer a few weeks ago argue with another employee I work with that congratulations was wrong on her cake, which I did and was mad at my self for having a blonde moment...When the customer pulled up the dictionary on her phone and promptly apologized ...lol!! Instant karma
I guess a white sheet cake would be the most appropriate for a KKK graduation, but surprised they went with black frosting.
Dream big and don't let anyone ever tell you that you'll never be Grand Wizard!
But is the Kankakee airport code better than Sioux City's, which is SUX?
('Nother native Illinoisan checking in...Joliet area)
Yeah, I'm at a loss as to what that green one is supposed to be, too.
And while "Congratulations" may be spelled correctly, somebody still decided to put a green letter on a green cake, so it's not hard to see "Congratu ations" instead.
All I can think of is the happy dance the bakery clerk was doing when she noticed someone FINALLY bought that hideous Tar Donkey CCC (patooie!), only to have it returned to the shelf after the above picture was taken.
I will be on the lookout for some non-wrecky goodies this season, because, alas, The Firstborn is a gradudlying graguate and will leave the nest this summer.
Oh, my.....
Hey, May: I ALSO thought that "Gradudleon" would be a great cat name! You beat me to it! It could also work in a Harry Potter-type thingy, p'raps.
To Laxmom: F.Y.I.: black frosting/icing comes out green.....but I'm only guessing =^-.-^=......
What in the bloody ELL is that little green coffin-y looking thing lying inside of the giant sideways "C"? I feel like I'm missing some subtle (OR just not-obvious-to-me) deeper meaning...
Don't expect I'll actually lose TOO much sleep over it, anyhoo...these are more "just plain stupid" than actually troublesome, no? (But then again, I'M not the recipient of any of them, either....) ;-P
Owww, Jen, turn off the death glare, will ya?! It hurts!
My theory about graguates- the baker's first language is Russian or Ukrainian and got the Latin and Cyrillic alphabets mixed up. A cursive d in cyrillic is just like the latin letter g. I speak from bitter experience as a language major who studied 3 foreign languages at once the carnage a linguistic breakdown can wreak. Seriously, I used Cyrillic writing in a Spanish mid-term once, it wasn't pretty. Fortunately, the prof knew I was doing a double major.
I think it should be pronounced Gra-DUDE-Leon, so I almost agree with Ed. I am now murmuring GraDUDEleon, GraDUDEleon to myself and shall be leaving work in a white jacket very soon.
@mel: Once again, you have returned clarity to my world. Bravo! That was a masterpiece.
zzzzz78759, the "L" is green so it IS spelled correctly.
Tar Donkey is proof that just because something like a *graduation cap* is square, it doesn't mean it's gonna make an easy CCC.
You had me at NEENER NEEENER. And you lost me with that green . . . thing. The tar donkey completed the process, and now several small vessels have exploded in my very tired brain.
The green one looks like a recycled Christmas wreath.
#1 I didn't know they had (a) class.
#2 If they had left the label off the 'dipolma', it would have been fine. Except for the quotation marks, the frosting color, and whatever was written at the top that was crossed out with Magic Marker.
#3 Random pairs of blue dots on an otherwise color-coordinated cake aside, perhaps the second word in question is supposed to be 'pre-medic'. That would be someone in the process of mastering advanced first aid, so can they truly be said to have gradudlioned?
#4 I cannot fathom what this is supposed to be. But at least...you know.
#5 My best guess on the label is "24 CT WHITE CUPCAKE CAKE WITH ICING AND KIT". 'Kit' would presumably be the flotsam, but 'icing' doesn't begin to describe what these cupcakes are having to endure. This is a fine example of how we know that the secret to art is knowing when to stop.
#6 One letter can turn an ordinary cake into a wreck.
I read this every day and sometimes I comment but most days I don't because I can't ever think of anything witty enough... and I haven't thought of anything witty today either, but I had to say something about the Tar Donkey butt peeing. Thank you. I laughed so loudly that my son came from the opposite side of the house to see what the deal was.
Holy crap!! I was so stupidly distracted by the whole Kankakee/IL thing that I forgot to give you props for the "View From the Top" reference!!! I didn't think anyone else had ever seen that. "You put the em-PHA-sis on the wrong syl-LA-ble." Hee hee...
I want to see the patented Jen Death Glare. Please note: I don't want to Receive it- just See it. Any volunteers? I'll bring cake to help you recover.
@KarateLady I don't think a mere mirror is going to deflect something that grand- we need Captain America's sheild since that deflected a Loki attack and a strike from Moljinor!!
@mel part of the time I want to move in next door to you- the other part I'm certain that would result in multiple restraining orders against me...(sigh) maybe I could just live in the same state?
A gradudlion sounds like a condition that only a permedic could treat.
@Barbara Anne - If I wasn't married, I'd be willing to take Captain America & you keep the shield. :-)
@mel - I concur with Barbara Anne - another masterpiece! :-) I would have complimented you earlier, but I've been out n about pretty much all day ! (After I made my 1st comment early, *early* in the morning...)
I nearly died laughing at tar donkey butt peeing lol. Even my husband couldn't believe his eyes and had to look again. Where on earth do you come up with these things?? What's scarier is who the heck wrecks these cakes so badly that no one will take them home? Lol.
I totally said gra-DUD-leon before I read it....it's like w-ENNNNNNN-bc.....the "tar donkey butt peeing" nearly caused me to wake my sleeping husband....I had to hold in the loud maniacal laughter ....I may lose a bulging eye ball or suffocate!
How and where did you come across Brian Depalma's graduation cake, where and what did he graduate from in 2009 and with and why is his name spelled incorrectly? A typo?
My first impression of the black CCC was a misshapen piano with a melted candelabra.
My second thought on all of these was at least they are only cakes and not regrettable tattoos.
@SuBee -- lol...wish I had some Google Goggles...
@drgns4vr... :-)
@Sharyn: you are too kind...for a true masterpiece, just read any of your posts...you are consistently brilliant!
@Barbara Anne: you'd be a welcomed neighbor...(smiles)...and I'd be happy to share a state with you -- I happen to hold dual-state residency status...my body is in the state of Illinois, while my mind frequently is in a state of confusion....
@KarateLady: Thank you, and I'm happy you enjoy my posts...I do have fun...and I, too, often just have time to post and then have to come back and add comments...like now....lol... :-)
The funny thing about the "dipolma" is that it wasn't even necessary to identify it at all... I'm pretty sure anyone looking at a graduation cake would know what a rolled-up piece of paper is meant to represent.
The funny thing about the "dipolma" is that it wasn't even necessary to identify it at all... I'm pretty sure anyone looking at a graduation cake would know what a rolled-up piece of paper is meant to represent.
I am no longer permitted to read your blog when I have the cold from hell because it's not pleasant to experience maniacal laughter interspersed with uncontrollable coughing and hacking. And also that black thing is clearly Darth Vader and he ate Mickey Mouse and he's slurping up Mickey Mouse's last leg like a piece of spaghetti. I'm surprised you didn't figure that out!
My 10 year old just came up, looked that the "Tar Donkey Butt-Peeing" and said "What is that?"
Oh my gosh Jen! After, of course, saying GraDUDlion properly with you there, I started looking around to see if the door to my office was closed because I was getting the giggles. Then I continued to read the rest of the post and just totally lost it on the butt peeing.
*happy sigh*
That made my day. Thanks.
Can anyone else hear Ned Flanders saying "grad-oo-did-lee-un"?