A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
May 22, 2013 The Good:
;)
By Steven Barela of Child's Pastry Shop
(WOW!)
The Bad:
;)
(Whoah...)
And the Ugly Truth:
;)
(Oh, sure, NOW you tell me.)
Thanks to Jeanette E., Samantha L., & Sarah F. for taking a stand against drunk decorating.
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Reader Comments (42)
The bad one ain't so bad, just what a person would feel like after some shots of patron :P as for the last one, that should be the cake for the Hangover movies XD
Good guy wreckerator dispensing sound advice with wrecky cakes.
It may be the ugly truth but at least they got the spelling right!
I believe we should all just take a moment to marvel at the fact that the last cake uses "you're" rather than "your" or "yore."
At least the last one spelled everything correctly and used proper grammar. That's something.
The ugly truth one has spelling AND punctuation AND grammar correct! Kudos! I guess that makes #2 the wreck of the day.
I'm trying to think of an occasion that might involve a "You make poor choices when you're drunk" cake and I'm really having a hard time coming up with one.
I make poor choices when I'm drunk, do I? Well, I can sober up, but what is your excuse for bordering this cake with the filling from devilled eggs?
While I am positive I make poor choices when I'm drunk (some things are just better left unsaid!), none of my friends has been kind enough to make me a cake announcing it to the world. For which I'm very thankful!
Thanks guys for your continued love and support. I cried again reading yesterday's comments. You guys are awesome! And thanks @Craig, those are the kind I covet right now. :)
OK, maybe the last cake got the spelling and grammar right, but capital letters are sprinkled about without reason.
Perhaps the poor choices made when drunk "entail" cakes with squiggly little "balloons". ;)
@Wendy- A surprise baby shower?
What SuBee and zoomom said.
@Wendy - I'm having a hard time coming up with an occasion that could NOT use a "You make poor choices when you're drunk" cake!
- 49% of Baby Showers
- For a friend in the hospital
- Groom's Cake
- Monday Morning
Feel free to join in loyal Wreck-Henchpersons!
@Jodee and Allison in Indiana - I went back & read yesterday's comments. I'm so sorry. My prayers are with both of you and your families. I wish I could give you a big hug. Or a cake. Or both.
CW readers are so supportive, as I found out when I announced my adoption news. (Which, btw, is going well. It's a lot of work, but that's children for you!) Jen really sets the tone and people seem to gravitate toward this site who are both funny and warm hearted like she is. It's only natural to feel that over the past 5 years this blog has morphed into a truly on-line community. Thanks Jen, John (Thoj), Sharyn, SueBee etc. etc. etc. !
SuBee, I was just coming on here to say the same thing. I am so proud that the last cake managed to use "you're" in the correct way.
@Jodee and Alison in Indiana: *see @mel's comment. Praying for strength, comfort, and peace to both of you.
@Tricia: Glad to hear things are going well for you and your little one.
As for the cakes today, wow. #1 is astoundingly awesome craftsmanship, and, er, paintsmanship.
#2: It somehow reminds me of one of those fake pirate hook 'hands', except instead of a hook someone put a solitary finger...in the middle of the 'hand'...
#3: @bassgirl: Haha! Good call.
@Jodee and Allison in Indiana-Please add me to the list of people who have you in their thoughts. When your going through one of the messes that life so often throws at us, it's important to have a place to visit and let it go if only for one or two minutes.This is that place for many of us. If nothing else, it's comforting to know that you're not the one who made a poop cake or a camouflage c-section baby shower abomination with extra sprinkes.
I'd like to point out that the third cake has correct spelling, grammar and punctuation. It even uses "you're".
It is distinctly possible that the third cake is the wreckerator's response to the customer's complaint about the second cake. S/he was going to say, "You can't expect a grocery store bakery to duplicate the work of a master baker," but that didn't fit. S/he also didn't want to run the slightest risk of being misheard on the last two words. At least "you get what you pay for" was successfully avoided, especially as it is properly rendered, "you get that for which you have paid."
Just because there is no immediate justification for complaint doesn't mean the grammar cop in me must remain silent. Mwahahaha.
One comes to the sad realization of how low one's standards have, in fact, gotten when one realizes one is slightly giddy over the fact that "you're" was spelled and used correctly on a cake wreck.
The last cake may have proper spelling and punctuation, but why are half of the words capitalized and the rest not?
At least the advice cake was grammatically correct.
Now, I'm not a professional cake decorator, but I would be beyond thrilled if I'd made the "bad" cake. Totally proud if I'd made that.
As for the ugly truth, I am TOTALLY bringing that to the next cocktail party I'm invited to.
I applaud the baker of "the wreck" for his/her use of proper grammar.
"Is there a bottle of PATRON in your pocket, or are you just HAPPY to see me?" *wink*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
@Wendy: Reason d'aitre for a cake like that? Here's one:IF IT'S FOR SOMEONE WHO'S IN JAIL, and IF there's a hacksaw baked inside the cake so that the perp who's in the pokey can escape. (Or,it could just be SHOWN to the guard,who'd either have a heart attack and thus be out of the way, OR accept it as a bribe to look the other way.) =^?.?^= I give up! It's clunky & UGLY! If I had it, I'd use to prop open a door, or scare away trick-or-treaters. ((gaccckh))
An intervention cake! Neat. Those things tend to be such downers. They really need cake.
I have a request.
Next week after my life calms down a little teeny bit I would like that bottle of Patron (the first one, not the second please) but I want it covered in Pink King. And y'all have to promise not to post any pictures or videos of me making bad choices. Deal?
@pikkewyntjie that cracked me up!
@Wendy, wanna come to my party? In fact, ALL of you are invited! We'll have this grand shindig in the bunker atrium! Who's gonna bring the cake?
I just don't understand why some people just don't say no?! Know your strengths fellow bakers!! If someone asked me to make them that cake I would say - no way that guys got some crazy skills!!
Wasn't that first one supposed to be for a Sunday Sweets?
@ Jodee & Allison in Indiana - my thoughts and prayers are with you. (And I just posted a more detailed comment to y'all on yesterday's post to go with everyone else's. (((HUGS)))
@zoomom - SNORT! You reminded me of an old Winston Churchill quote. (or faux quote, depending on who you believe...) A British Labour politician named Bessie Braddock, saw him and said "Winston, you are drunk, and what's more you are disgustingly drunk. "
Winston replied "Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what's more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly."
Ouch. Oh, and the Good is really, *really*, REALLY good. Saw it on 'How it's Made' - the tequila manufacturing process is quite fascinating. The cake looks pretty darn good, too - I wouldn't be surprised if someone tried to pour a glass of it!
The first cake is reminding me that after today's batch of stress, I need to make myself a margarita tonight. Or two.
The second cake reminds me of something phallic. And happy!
The third cake reminds me that I'd better be finished working when I start making margaritas.
I would bring cake 3 to my next weekend camping trip. My crazy friends would love it. Once again, the comments are the best. Thoughts and prayers for the Indiana folks. I <3 this site!!
@zoomom nice to see you back and you're in fine form! I thought deviled eggs, too! :D
@Craig LOL being misheard on what she'd written?? (Listen, do you smell that?)
I love the cork on the first one. Very cool.
Much hugs to Jodee and Alison in Indiana.
Glad to hear it's going well, Tricia! :)
The "bad" cake isn't bad at all in my opinion...
@zoomom -- so glad to see you back...and in rare form, as usual...! :-)
AYE, CARAMBA!
Everybody's just a-champing at the bit to get at that booze, by the looks of things! Let's have AT it~~who needs reasons? We don't need no stinkin' reasons! Reward is its OWN reason. I say so-- So there!
@Karate Lady: HA!!! That Winston Churchill bit is a hoot! It SO sounds like something my hero W.C. Fields could have said (and probably did~he had to have INVENTED snarkiness).
=^-.-^=
You could bring it to serve at an intervention!
I see nobody wanted to put a name to the second tequila bottle cake attempt!
I love Child's. They made an awesome pizza cake for my birthday one year.
I love the first cake and the second one isn't that horrible really. Lol then again what do I know considering I don't drink and wouldn't know if the bottle looked right or not. But I would not eat that bright yellow third cake for fear of turning my insides into some weird neon color.
Great idea, Jodee! I'm definitely coming to the party, and I'll bring cake. It will have sprinkles, flotsam, carrot jockeys, suggestive balloons and the words 'Jodee, we love you in purple'.
I wonder if the 'cork' on the first one is edible. I think it looks like a cookie. But then again, maybe it's just a cork and I'm being too optimistic.
Literally just busted out laughing at my desk at this post...this site is going to get me fired some day!!!! Thanks for the giggles.