Jen Takes a Chill Pill
April 8, 2013 Heeeeeey guuuuuys. Jen here. Now, I might have had to take an itty bitty tiny dose of Xanax earlier today, and I might be feeling a liiiiittle bit relaxed right now.
;)
Me [looking at the "to-post" wrecks]: "Meh. These cakes aren't so bad. I'mma go pet the cat."
John: "Oh, you want bad cakes? I'LL FIND YOU BAD CAKES."
[fifteen minute pause while I smile dreamily at the wall]
John: "Ok, here we go. How about ... THIS."
;)
Me: "It's the head-shrinky guy from Beetlejuice. Nice. I'mma go pet the cat."
John: "HANG ON. I've got better ones. Here, look at this:"
;)
[long, considering silence]
Me: "Ew."
John: "... and?"
Me: "And what?"
John: "All you've got is 'ew'? How about a 'til death makes us parts' joke, or, or, something about eye balling the problem? C'mon! Work with me, here!"
Me: [snoring]
John: "Jen. Jen. Jen."
[enlarging another photo and angling screen in my direction] "JEN!"
;)
Me: "AAAAIIIEEEE!! I'm awake! IMMAWAKE!"
John: "... and?"
Me: "And I think I need another Xanax."
Thanks to Suzanne G., Sarah S., Anony M., Jude S., and artist Katie Cook, who has just the surprise I need for John later, OH YES.
Reader Comments (67)
#2: The one and only know shot of Cousin It's face taken while It was in the salon getting a permanent.
#3: What is the cake made out of that when the rats dive in, black goo oozes out?
#4: Is Bismarck a Hewwing?
I got my new name. I'll be Just Andrea.
is the till death do us part a threat cake?
Ok, now I really did go back and look because somebody mentioned dead rodents on the dead people cake. Really??? Ok, I'm officially grossed out now. The fact that I woke up with a migraine and have already lost it multiple times today really isn't helping my gag reflex. O.O
@Kathryn - Gosh, you're right! Looks like Sigmund trying to pass for human & got a bad dye job...or a beat-up old wig...(didn't realize anyone else liked & remembered Sigmund!!! :-) (I have the Bugaloos on DVD, too! :-)
I do not like spiders. I'm not scared of 'em. I just don't like 'em. Having said that, I admire the skills that went into that last cake. It's fantastically rendered, but I think I'd rather have a slice of Santa's Ski Slope. And a xanax.
@Craig - Theardare's scared of ME?! You gotta be kidding! I spent time in Room 101 too, ya know. Of course, now I have these nifty electronic sonic soundwave-canceling ear plugs from Area 51... ;-)
@Jodee - sorry about the migraine. Have you been checked for gluten-sensitivity? It can cause migraines. Just a thought...feel better soon!
The last two are well-made cakes but...why??
Does Anony M. stand for anonymous? Cuz I'm absolutely sure I sent the Death do us Parts cake wreck to you. My girls, Meg and Kaity are getting married this coming weekend and asked me (joking) to make the parts cake for the wedding. To which I replied, HEX NO!!! And sent the pic to you via my phone.
I'm not exactly a professional, but I'd really rather none of my kakes ever end up here unless they are on your "Sweets" pages!
That Santa cake is kind of clever, really, And the spider cake looks to be well enough done for a Sunday Sweets for the nature geeks among us, of whom there seem to be a few.
@Karate Lady
Mom, you really shouldn't have mentioned your fear of sharks. Like, REALLY shouldn't have mentioned it. I don't know if you know this, but Theardare is still ticked off at you for the whole horny toad gene incident. Seriously, I saw him in a shark costume earlier this morning. I've confiscated his machine gun and hidden it in the bunker with an IPod playing the MLP theme, but the girly music won't hold him off forever. *ignites lightsaber* You run, I call the mardi gras baby?
I can tell you one thing if that spider cake sets foot in my house on my birthday someone here will probably die lol. I hate spiders..even fake cake spiders. Yuck!! Evil wreckerators now all I need is a clown eating a spider and I will just go to my rubber room.
The last one is a fishing spider, genus Dolomedes. Very realistic. That probably doesn't make the arachnophobes happy to hear that.
I'm glad we got the Andrea thing straightened out.
Was #3 commissioned by Overly Attached Girlfriend, by chance?
@TLC: Yes, serial killer a la a black widow. The fingers and eyes on the cake are all that is left from her previous husbands. Then, the guests, presumably, EAT the evidence thinking it is just fondant.
when I went back to see the rodent hiney (which I'd missed the first time through) I thought Ratbert instead of rat butt.
the spider's creeping me out because it IS so well done. it wouldn't otherwise
In keeping with the recent plastic football decoration theme, the first "head" has a similar design for the mouth! And is wearing a stylish yellow scarf too!
Yeaaaaaah, so this severe arachnophobe didn't almost throw their laptop or anything. It's in the Top 3 phobias, internationally to boot....warnings people, warnings.
The text was pretty funny for this one though!