Dump Week
February 6, 2013 It's National Dump Your Significant Jerk Week, or as I like to call it, Dump Week. That's right, folks, it's time to get out now before you have to spend another Valentines' Day shelling out the dough for over-priced chocolates and stuffed animals!
And really, what better way is there to end a romantic entanglement than with CAKE?
;)
Now your ex can drown his sorrows in beer and buttercream. Unless he's out of beer. Or hates cake. In which case, this cake is PERFECT.
;)
For some reason I get this one a lot. You know, from you readers. It's usually followed by a "I promise I'm not a stalker," and a request for my home address. (No joke.)
If you prefer a more subtle route, there's also this option:
;)
"Allow me to point out that the arrow pointing to the representation of the amount of my love is actually larger than the representation of the amount of my actual love.
"If you're not getting this, I've also prepared a pie chart. On a pie."
Then there are all the old standbys:
The Outraged:
;)
The Relieved:
;)
The Psychopath:
;)
But for my money, I'll always prefer good old fashioned crazy:
;)
If I find a jam filling, I am OUTTA HERE.
Thanks to Sarah H., Kjaere, Lesley M., Birdy, Olivia C., and Erin W., who will always hold a special place in my heart, and we'll always be friends, but I'm at a really complicated place right now and just need some time to think about who I am, you know?
Reader Comments (57)
The first cake totally got this Rhett & Link song stuck in my head - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyfNZs2dPto. Also it's very appropriate for National Dump Week.
I have got to remember "Find the toenail" for April Fools Day.
All I can think of is Homer's classic dumpline, "Hey Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population-- YOU!!"
TLC, you've got it backwards. The sound of his muscles rippling actually make it difficult to have normal conversations. You'll want a muscle-rippling-muffler attachment for your video camera so that you'll be able to hear the conversation. I mean, it's not like you can hear John's muscles from space. But close.
Okay, now I'm exaggerating. You can only hear them for a 3 meter radius.
I know I've used that "INSIDE the house" line before. I can't help myself. I'm like a baby playing peek-a-boo. I find it funny. Every. Single. Time.
If this ever comes to a vote, I'm casting all my shares against commodifying our ability to express appreciation with "likes" or "e-props" or "thunbs-up." If we like something, let's use our words and say so.
Put this one on your top 10 list! I wish I had someone to dump/stalk just so I could do it on a cake.