Like, Whatever
February 26, 2013 Transcript of the actual conversation of the Loud Girl talking on her phone in the next booth last night at dinner...
"So, like, I was at work today, and my boss Bob comes up to me, y'know, and he's all like,
"Did you finish that project I gave you last week?"
"And I, like, totally forgot about it, so I'm thinking, like,
;)
;)
But I don't say that. I'm all
;)
And he's just, y'know, looking at me, so I say
;)
And he just stands there, so I go
;)
And he rolls his eyes and looks at me, and he says,
;)
I know.
;)
And I say, what, like you never missed a deadline? Oh, I know, that's cuz
;)
right, Bob?
And I'm getting, like, totally pissed that he thinks he can treat me like that, so I'm just all,
;)
and I walked out.
Yeah, I know! Good for me!
Now I'm like
;)
I didn't want to be a lawyer anyway."
Really, like, epic thanks to Sheryl L., Ellen B., Lexi R., Katherine B., Sam B., Allison W., Amy O., Bruce T., Julia R., and Laura D. I love you guys. You really get me.
Reader Comments (50)
Cake #1 - Why a cow? "Oops, I bought a cow?" "Oops, I stepped on a cow pie?" And why would you commemorate that occasion??
Cake #4 - All I see is a ginormous rubber band draped over the sides. Yum...
At least she didn't say "The sources provided a very deep to the soul information." Because that's the sentence I'm grading now.
That was great! I like totes loved it. You are cray cray!
Those are some strange balloons on that last cake.
And if that's a real conversation.... just wow.
Glad it wasn't my conversation, though. :)
Maybe the cow ate the roses?
A genius post. Brava.
How appropriate, today is the first day of the bar exam for most states!
"The sources provided a very deep to the soul information."
Thank you, now I can't breathe!
Serioudly, I'm laughing too hard.
And so after Loud Girl leaves the "I QUIT" cake on her boss' desk with her name and leaves, her ex-co-worker Passive Aggressive Girl comes in and adds an "E" at the end of "QUIT" and adds "LOVE YOU" underneat dat.
heh.
This is, like, the most totally awesome, frickin' genius combo of cakes and writing, like, ever. Seriously.
What's with the cow on the first cake? I would have preferred to see a dog...with one hind leg lifted.
Well, at least the balloons on that last cake really look like bal...um...well, maybe not, but at least they don't resemble sperm...I think...
Good one, Sharyn! I can *totally* imagine my twenty-something niece having that conversation with her friends...her pattern was always "this is a great job!"and then two weeks later - "my coworkers hate me" followed quickly by "my boss is out to get me" and inevitably ending with quitting or being fired soon after. I lost count after the first five jobs in two years... (My greatest fear is that my daughter will follow in her footsteps. Yikes!)
@Haiku Mal - as Charlie Brown would say, good grief!
Alright everyone, let's not get excited about the cow... clearly the cow is not responsible for anything going on with this cake. As usual it is an innocent cow, as most are. (Except perhaps for the deranged one that belonged to Mrs. O'Leary... poor thing never was right in the mind) What we see here is that the misguided baker placed the lovely creature on the cake without double checking the order asked for a "crown", since it is (I'm sure) a cake commemorating a beauty queen wardrobe malfunction.
So please... let the poor cow be.
Cake #4 "I didn't forget" to wash my hands but I got a tapeworm anyway? Cuz that's certainly what it appears to be draped around the sides of that cake.
ROTFL!! GREAT post, Sharyn!!
Clearly, the cow is troubled because she misplaced her cow tools. Oops!
Is it just me, or does anyone else have the feeling that Loud Girl's name is Amber, and this is her second career. Her previous career is just what paid for law school.
And now I want to go watch more "West Wing" reruns...
Best cake wrecks post! Well done.
I think an expletive was removed from the "Do Something About It" cake. Why else would there be a big blank space after "Do". Although I'm not sure what that has to do with a tombstone, or is it a jewelry box with an ill-fitting lid (head scratch)? Oh wait, I see what it is now! A "chalk-board", atop a chocolate triangle cake . . . with a chocolate-covered rice krispie treat. Everything is totally clear now (I'm going to go lie down now).
No cow pie. Must settle for beefcake.
Like, seriously, y'know, I gotta, y'know, transcribe and, like, y'know, like, properly punctuation ver-, verbatim? Verboten? Whatever, y'know. like, OMG, stuff like this all day. Like, duh. Seriously. You know what I mean?
*Sigh* All filler. No content. My English now no good is. Mutating too fast.
Fluffy Cow you will be pleased to know that the Great Chicago Fire being started by a cow in Mrs. O'Leary's barn is an outright myth. This is especially the case when you consider that the O'Leary property was one of few places untouched by the fire.
You can't blame it on the barn and cow when neither actually ended up on fire.
Fantastic! Seriously, a top notch post all the way around.
On a side note, I am a bit concerned that the generation coming up is going to be horrific, and this posts reinforces that fear. It is also why I remind my kids that in real life, not everyone gets or deserves a trophy.
What is cake number 3 "supposed" to be celebrating? Congrats, you didn't have a baby yet?
Even those of us who did want to be and are lawyers completely agree with the last cake! That's now going to be something I regularly send to newbies taking the exam. It is the perfect sentiment.
I feel like cake #5 is incomplete. Like, all the space between "mad" and the question mark was supposed to have "bro" there but they weren't sure if it would work or not.
At any rate, one day at work, a customer comes up to the cake counter:
"Can you write on this cake?"
Yes, ma'am. What would you like it to say?
"'Happy now?' You know, like, 'Are you happy now?' *laughs*"
0_o ...okay. So... okay. What color would you like that in?
I didn't have the time or a chance to take a picture of it since it kinda caught me off guard and she was standing right there. I mean, it wasn't really a wreck because it's what she asked for and my penmanship makes grandmothers in small Italian villages cry tears of joy because they've never seen anything so beautiful. Yeah, wish I got a snapshot just because I thought it was amusing.
Am I the only person who mentally read this in a "Valley Girl" voice?
Seriously. There needs to be a like button for the comments. Seriously.
Dear Cake Wrecks:
This is to inform you that the firm of Tinker, Toys and Tops was not amused by your public recounting of a highly personal phone conversation, particularly as it relates to impinging on the confidentiality of the party of the second part, one “Bob,” who is, in fact, on the fast-track to becoming a partner here at T,T &T’s. We do not tolerate impingement with impunity! Furthermore, we are particularly distressed by the misinformation being promulgated concerning Bob’s status as a genius, which, in fact he is. However, he is not a “fricking” genius. I’ll dispense with the diatribe that comes to mind when I hear that, and instead just calmly point out that in this day and age of environmental disquiet, we are proud to be in the forefront of ecological edicts and regulation. And, in that field, Bob is a fracking genius.
Furthermore, and I trust I am not divulging any private information here inasmuch as the party of the first part (caller) has already tendered her resignation and did, in fact, waive any right to confidentiality by speaking so loudly in a public place, by saying that the prestigious firm of Tinker, Toys and Tops would be highly unlikely to promote anyone who’s preparation for the bar exam included the activities prioritized as listed: (1) screw, (2) the bar, and then (3) exam. While we are not interested in our employee’s private lives, we would hope that when about to take such a life changing step, the order would be reversed.
I hope this clears this up relative to Bob and his intellectual predilection.
Sincerely,
Mr. Potato, Head Counsel
Tinker, Toys and Tops
@Sharyn: love your work....!
@Melonie - it could be... hmm... it just might be... <snicker> (Good one!!!)
@Fluffy Cow - ah, yes, the cow is always innocent, right? Just like the butler is always guilty... :-)
@Isolder74 - true, but I bet Fluffy Cow knew that...she's sharp that way. On the other hand, I did read of a cow killing an elderly lady. Poor old grandma was out on her farm & was head-butted in the chest by her cow. (Confirmed not a bull.) This stopped her heart & caused her death...right in front of the grandkids. Eek! They said it was a freak accident cuz cows don't butt much & when they do, it's usually not enough to kill you...
I just noticed the "TIME!!!" on the front of the third cake. So apparently it actually reads "NO NOT YET!! TIME!!!" Which makes me imagine it being part of a monologue by someone who talks like the Nutty Professor. "No, not yet! Time! There hasn't been! For me, yet! Because of all the busyness and the too-much-work and the sick days I've been having. Froynlaven!"
First, I would like to apologize on behalf of California for inflicting 'Val speak' on the rest of humanity. California and I have had a chat about it; I told her what it was doing to my favorite blog, and she was like, "no way!" Then I was all, "way!" Then she was all bummed and stuff, so I guess that counts as contrition. (Dang. Forgot about 'surf speak'. Er, sorry about that.)
I have a third party grammar / spelling checker installed. It didn't flag anything in the above paragraph, which has me a tad concerned.
@Haiku Mal, after you finish grading that sentence, just pave it over. A simple roadside marker will be sufficient warning to future generations.
@Melonie, good linkage.
@Isolder74, the fact that the O'Leary place and cow were not touched is itself suspicious, is it not? To the best of my recollection, the legend does not say where the infamous cow kicked over the lantern. No one would have paid much attention to a cow walking through the streets at that time. A cow carrying a lantern might have occasioned some comment, but people would simply think it was well-trained. Little did they know the cow had Mrs. O'Leary trained -- to take the fall.
@Rixie, you should get some sort of 'good parental skills' trophy. I was going to take the easy way out and say, "good parenting," but I'm trying to wipe out the use of nouns as verbs. Little by little, I'm extending the area of sanity. Perhaps future generations will thank me. If there is hope, it lies in the Proles.
The O'Leary property was one of few places untouched by the fire? I'm sorry, but that makes the cow sound guilty to me. She should think about contacting Mr. Potato, Head Counsel at Tinker, Toys and Tops.
Hey @Sharyn, have you secretly been in my neck of the woods and didn't tell me? Sounds like conversations I hear my girls say...except a lot more use of the word "like". @Craig, we seem to have a lot of CA transplants around here, thanks a lot! ;-)
@mel ~ I deal with legal documents all day long, I'm seriously impressed with Mr. Potato's position. ;-)
@Haiku That made me snort. It also sounds like something one of my girls would do expect the words would be spelled phonetically.
Hil.ar.i.ous. What kind of person would drop a lawyer gig for a simple missed paper? Yikes...stresssed out or whhhattt?
omg BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Brilliant! The first time I read it I forgot they were cakes and how hilarious it was, I was focusing on the conversation. Then I look back and realize these people were payed to bake these cakes. Then I laugh harder.
O.M.G. Best. Post. Ever.
Oh god, the CA "valley girl" speak. My brain is now screaming in pain. >_<
Given how often I forget stuff, I'd like a cake each time I remember something :) !
Thank you for providing a very deep to my soul information.
I can't even type that with a straight face! @Haiku Mal, you MUST get an interpretation on that and fill us in!
Oh, mel, I think I'm in love with your brain. The bar exam cake as a 3 item To Do list. Ha, so funny!
Genius!!
What reason could be
enough to explain? Please pass
the fondant babies.
I love Mr. Potato Head lol didn't know the guy became an attorney. Heh. I like the I quit cake too and for most of these wrecks they would be pretty fitting at someones goodbye party. Then again maybe not considering some of the frosting lol.
Way to go Bob! I love your "Far Side" refrence with cow tools. LOL
Way to go Bob! I love your "Far Side" refrence with cow tools. LOL
Mel, Mr. Potatohead is a genius, pure genius.
What's supposed to be written on cake #7? "Seriously"? Sorry ady? But then who's ady? What's goiing on here?
Does the green "balloon" on the last cake look like Squidward from SpongeBob's face to anyone else?
Awesome job, Sharyn, putting that all together! Well done! Woof! Woof!
Is it just me, or does the frosting on the "I quit" cake look really tasty for some reason? It's not what I'd call pretty, but it sure looks like it'd taste good.
I didn't see the "time" on the baby shower (?) cake until Steve mentioned it, and now I'm even more confused. Is it a gender reveal cake, saying "no, it's not time to find out yet, oh wait, now it is"? Is it a false alarm cake, and they're not actually having a baby after all? I want to know.