It's Not Fat, It's Fluffy
February 12, 2013 Happy Fat Tuesday, everyone!!
Ok, you've already got your King Cake, of course, but what about your OTHER Mardi Gras cake?
You know, the one to frighten off small children.
;)
Yeah, that one.
[GEEK JOKE: Looks like Lady Cassandra found a new makeup artist. Haha! ZING.]
This one could also work:
;)
THE FLY!!!
The comedy and tragedy masks are a great choice for warding off pesky youngin's:
;)
...provided you only use the tragedy side, of course. Fortunately, most bakers are way ahead of you there:
;)
Yep, that's a tragedy.
;)
YOU HAVE DISAPPOINTED THE TIKI GODS.
NOW GO CALL YOUR MOTHER.
What's that? You're still surrounded by rug rats? Ok, time to break out the big flotsam:
;)
Part of me wants to run away screaming, but the other half wants to glue all that stuff to my face and go grocery shopping. And if you don't think I'd move the mole to a new spot on my face every five minutes, then you just don't know me. Or Robin Hood: Men In Tights.
Well, I trust these scary selections have sent the kids packing, so let me end with a very special birthday wish:
;)
[soulful singing]
I see your literal "colors"
SHINING THROUGH!
I see your literal "colors"
And THAT'S WHY I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS ORDER SHEET.
Thanks to Heather D., Elizabeth D., Karen E., Bunny, Julia K., & Deana M. for not sending in more King Cakes. Seriously. THANK YOU. ;)
Reader Comments (70)
@KarateLady (or anyone else, for that matter): (Off topic...) Do you have a recommendation for a good cookbook for a friend who is trying to get off gluten, sugar and dairy? Any help would be greatly appreciated. (No, Theardare, she can't just eat meat. Scritch, scritch, scritch.)
I've been following your posts for a while - very funny. But the thing that I continue to find amazing is the price these bakeries have the nerve to charge for these monstrosities. And the fact that someone is buying them!
@Andrea - <whispering back> Ok, Big Baby is preoccupied. It's using my hand target as a teething toy. I'm going to slowly back away from it & hope it doesn't not... <CRASH>
Oops. Stupid statue. <Busted Theardare statue lays on floor. Baby turns around>
Run Away! Run Away! <Dashes back through bead curtain. Big Baby drops hand target & lumbers after KarateLady>
ANDREA! JODEE! GET THE DOOR! I'M COMING! <runs & ducks under low-hanging gold, green & purple banners and through beads and masks hanging from ceiling in hallway> Mutters "Stupid, @#$!$%%$ feather masks!" <Reaches basement door & bangs on it. Big baby is behind but catching up.>
HELP! LET ME IN! QUICK! AAAAAAIIIIIGGGHHH!!!
<Before she can launch an assault worthy of Bruce Lee, Big Baby scoops up KarateLady & slings her over his shoulder. She Kermit flails in an attempt to free herself> LET...ME...GO!!!
<Big Baby doesn't seem to notice. He is too busy lumbering back towards the Atrium with his prize.>
(to be continued...)
SueBee, I salute you once again! You are so on my wavelength - that one got to me too yesterday. Thanks for starting my day with a big laugh.
Yay, Dr.Who! Cassandra's been got by Homer Simpson and his make-up gun, set to 'hooker'!
The first one makes me want to say: It's astounding....time is fleeting....madness takes control. but listen closely not for very much.....well you know the song right?
Hey, KarateLady! Are you OK? Look, I'm sure Dr Who will be here in a minute to rescue you - just hang on ...
Haiku Joy, you forgot to check your settings again.
What gets me about the flotsam cake with the mole is that it has a pretty feminine hat, some pouty sexy lips...and a mustache. Is not waxing another Fat Tuesday tradition I've never heard of?
I didn't see your Lady Cassandra joke below the picture, and I thought it looked like her too. LOL! Whovians unite!!!!!!
Hey isn't the roaming Mole from "Hot Shots"? Did that do that on Robin Hood too? Gah how tacky.
Now you'll always wonder when it is being done purposefully and when it's a boopsie.
OMG! Did I miss February Birthday Mardi Gras Color again? I am having so much trouble keeping up with all these multicultural holidays. Hope you all had a happy one!
So wonderful that there are so many Whovians who are also Cake Wrecks fans! We need to organize a convention with a Doctor Who bake off. I see Lady Cassandra peanut brittle for some weird reason. Imagine Dinosaurs on a Spaceship in CAKE! :) I must create a TARDIS cake!!
KarateLaaaaaadyyyyy are you ok??? I tried to occupy Big Baby with some SourPatch Baby Jesuseseses but I think I made him mad! Where is Theardare's AK??? Craig??? You gotta help save KarateLady! You're 7 feet tall, remember?
Lullaby and Good Night...ta dah daaah ta da da...hhhmmm...hhmmm..
<KarateLady is in the Atrium rocking Big Baby in a giant green, gold, & purple hammock made from all the Mardi Gras banners. Big Baby starts to snore - clearly, he is completely out.>
<whispering> Finally! <She flops on Theardare's cat bed. Whispering again.> Never mind, Jodee - just get Craig to fix the Bunker. That should make the baby disappear. Although, I wouldn't mind being rescued by the Doctor - 9th, 10th, Tom Baker, Peter Davidson...I'm not picky... :-)
@Sharyn - Living Without magazine is *excellent* & they have several good cookbooks. With a subscription you can search the site for recipes! They have current & back issues dedicated to various holidays (with lots of recipes) as well. In addition, Walden Farms has a variety of salad dressings, sauces, dessert sauces, etc., that are gluten-free, dairy-free, and sugar-free (but use sucralose - an artificial sweetener).
<more whispering> Uh-oh. The hammock's slowing down...I better go push it some more. Get Craig to hurry, will ya? Bye..."Lullaby and good night...la-la-lah-lah-lah....
lady cassandra was my initial thought right away too. please oh please let there never be a cake that looks like the face of boe! *pleads earnestly to the gods of botched frosting*
I don't know what KarateLady's been imbibing but I really, really want some. ;)
Chav-tastic!
@Barbara Anne - Glad you asked! A Jovian Sunspot for starters, followed by a Samarian Sunset as a chaser and finished off with a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, of course! :-)
PS I thought of slipping in a Samarian Sunrise (aka Sonic Screwdriver) before that Sunset but that would be silly now, wouldn't it?!
And yes, Craig is *so* not a hoopy-frood dude for failing to recognize the guitar! ;-)
I like your Geek Joke. She also looks like she needs to be moisturized.
It's really sad that I got that geek joke.
Moisturize me!