Cry Fowl

THIS JUST IN from WREX-TV:
A toxic icing spill at an area shopping mall has left locals traumatized, confused, and a little peckish:
However, it was in the bakery that results were most devastating, particularly among the turkey cakes.
Some burst into flames:
...others complained of being a bit chilly:
"I'll give you a heads up when it's warmer, guys."
And a few even found themselves on the new literal reality show, "Face Off."
"This punches you in the face with how bad it sucks."
"I liked it!"
"Nobody asked you, Ve."
This guy was spotted rolling down the bread aisle:
He looks fierce, but turned out to be a big cream puff.
(Now he's toast.)
Sadly, the largest percentage of cakes turned into something experts call "poo wangs."
And once a bakery is infested with poo wangs, it's really hard to flush them out.
In the mean time, though, the bakery is having a sale on the classic English dessert, "spotted dick."
So it looks like this situation might have a happy ending, after all.
Thanks to Jayson G., MK, Sara G., Lisa P., Judi I., Nat B., Wendy C., & Laurence R. for the spot of English culture.
Reader Comments (55)
They all look a little pecker-ish to me...
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#3 Turkey/shai-hulud hybrid?
when i read WREX (NBC here in Rockford, IL) i was so excited that someone was mentioning my little town for something other than being generally depressing (im looking at YOU, Forbes) that it took a good thirty seconds of scrolling for the pun to sink in. bahahahaha
I realize I'm a bit late to the party, what with just discovering the site and all, but... Isn't #8 what's technically called a "turdkey"?