Wednesday
Nov132013
This Time It's Personals
November 13, 2013 SGM
(Single Green Monster)
;)
...seeks soul mate
;)
...for lasting relationship.
Must enjoy:
...roadkill
;)
...snow calligraphy
;)
...crime scenes
;)
...dumpster dining
;)
...fish slapping
;)
...and quiet evenings at home.
;)
NO WEIRDOS.
But enough about my ex. (Just kidding -- therefore, it's NOT actionable...) Thanks to Michael G., Sue S., Sarah B., Pam T., Elizabeth C., Anony M., Stuart C., and the hilariously talented Charmaine (the baker of Hello Dominatrix up there) for hooking us up.
Reader Comments (57)
these are just an unholy mess... what has been seen can unfortunately not be unseen. EWWW.
Hello Slutty
Anybody else old enough remember Devo and their amazing hit?
Slap that fish,
Eat squirrel for a snack.
Yummy moldy dots,
Gushing bloody clots
When an order comes along,
You must wreck it.
Before the SGM’s last song,
You must wreck it.
Yellow snow’s not wrong,
Go and wreck it.
Now wreck it,
Wreck it good.
Mess it up,
It’s not food.
Pirate hooker’s
Simply words.
Try just to print it,
It’s good enough.
To wreck it
Wreck it good.
Ha!! "Snow Calligraphy" -bwwaaaaahahahahaha!
So now I have to go google the Bad Lip Reading of Twilight so I can watch it:
"Dude, you slapped a fish"
Another morning made by CW!
(Took me a half a second on "snow calligraphy"… now I can't stop laughing)
Ahhh! Loving the Hello Dominatrix cake!
Is it wrong I sort of want the Hello Kitty Dominatrix cake??
Hello Kitty with fishnet hose and black garter belt--oh my, is that a whip in her hand and handcuffs on the bedpost? Wow, I have a whole new respect for Hello Kitty.
SuBee: I am, in fact, more than old enough to remember Devo and this amazing song. That album was a hit on our college radio station long before it hit mainstream. Memories. . . . . .
On that first cake: Are those fingers supposed to be attached to . . . . . something?
The road kill cake is a riot. On Friday night I went to the annual chili cook-off sponsored by our police/fire department. The Street Department entered for the first time. When I asked them what their secret ingredient was, they said (and I quote): "Road kill." They won first place in judges' choice.
And S&M Hello Kitty is SO deviant! I love it!
I can't wait until my daughter is old enough to show her the Hello Kitty Dominatrix. That just made my day!
My BFF loves Hello Kitty stuff so I spent a full 30 secs thinking how cute that cake was & how perfect it would be for her before I realized how Kitty was dressed. Holy kitten with a whip! Things like that make me worry about myself. I've even had a cup of coffee already so no excuses there. As for the rest of those beauties, if those are what's available in the personal ads 1- I thank my lucky stars I'm already married to an awesome guy & 2- if I were single I'd be thinking seriously about finding myself a lovely Abbey a la' The Sound of Music!
@SuBee - Bwaaahahaha! That was awesome! I can totally see those weird red cone hats. ;)
My BFF loves Hello Kitty stuff so I spent a full 30 secs thinking how cute that cake was & how perfect it would be for her before I realized how Kitty was dressed. Holy kitten with a whip! Things like that make me worry about myself. I've even had a cup of coffee already so no excuses there. As for the rest of those beauties, if those are what's available in the personal ads 1- I thank my lucky stars I'm already married to an awesome guy & 2- if I were single I'd be thinking seriously about finding myself a lovely Abbey a la' The Sound of Music!
@SuBee - Bwaaahahaha! That was awesome! I can totally see those weird red cone hats. ;)
@SuBee:
Hell, yeah! 70's and 80's music kicked A$$! (I WANT my I WANT my I WANT my MTV...! ) =^~.~^=
Cake four: "Snow calligraphy" courtesy of Mr. Snuffleupagus, Cookie Monster, Oscar the Grouch, Big Bird, Ernie, and the letter "P."
#1 Kinda funny, I guess.
#2 I'm guessing that that's another example of the description, rather than the thing described, winding up on the cake.
#3 I'm having trouble seeing squirrel there. Severed (and then run-over) human foot, maybe? But if so, what's with all the little bones sticking out all over and the cat paw sticking out from underneath? (Squirrel paw doesn't look anything like that-- they have dextrous fingers, for one thing.)
Just took another look and found the squirrel's face. He's a hunchback.
#4 Wangcandles (new word, just made it up).
#5&6 Ewwwwwwww!
#7 That's a fish? Why is it pooping blue?
#8 (Hello, baaaaaad Kitty) WTF? Seriously, WTF? I'm way over 40 and I'm not sure I'm old enough to see that cake. At least it wasn't a single-digit age. (It's rare that we see such a well-crafted wreck, though.)
Well Helloooooooooo Kitty!
@SuBee: lol...well done...I remember that song! I think it was from their album "Q. Are We Not Cakes? A. We Are WRECKS!"
That roadkill cake is just...wow. Then they misspelled "squirrel!"
Pirate Hookers...they arggggggggg-ue about their price....
I'm almost sure that somehow Cake #2 led to the last one. I'm also pretty sure that we need a sunday sweets 'adult day' version where we have more cakes like the last one.
messages in cake
is anyone really there
who can be a friend
lonely people all around
seeking comfort for the night
That 6th cake appears to be a poorly executed variant of the famous British fruited cake served with with pudding: spotted dick cake.
Snow calligraphy....ahahaha....perfect!
I-Want-You Monster
is no gentleman, is he?
Two-fingered salute.
My poor stomach just can't handle it today **sound of running**
Okay, **deep breath** I can do this.
**urp** No, I can't.
@SuBee ~ I loved that song! Maybe if they had used your lyrics my parents wouldn't have hated it so much?
Looks like the teletubbies held a peeing contest on a nice snowy day. Yay!
I'm pretty sure #2 has something to do with Rants from Mommyland. That is the nickname that was used between the two original bloggers and is now used for the community in general.
@Sir Laffsalot -- that pun made my day!!
"Squirl"??
I KNEW Hello Kitty had a secret life. I just knew it.
The 6th one down? Click to enlarge, and then read what it says across the top above the image. Yes, along with other i.d. stuff, it really does read : "..streetshutter.ow.moldyicing.jpg?." Isn't that special?
Mold. It's what's for dessert... O_O
Gag.
(PS, if you click on the link, it's even "better" close-up).
The fish ... seriously, that's supposed to be a fish? (Maybe it's an attempt at Picasso's style?)
I gotta tell you, I visit this wonderful Wrecky website nearly every day, and I've never been as mystified by any individual confection as I am by that dang fish.
MMM Squirl!
Fish slap made me think of 50 First Dates. "Yes, fish slap calm me."
@ SuBee Excellent!
NEVER eat yellow snow
(I'd also avoid orange, blue, green and brown, especially brown)
The squirl cake looks as though it's made from plasticine, not cake. (Do they even make that stuff any more?)
LOVE "snow calligraphy" to look and laugh at. To eat? Ew.
That last cake gives a whole new meaning to "Kitten With a Whip."
The "Pirate hooker" cake is a reference to Ace of Cakes, season 2, episode2. Mary Ellen reads an e-mail from a fan asking if they deliver. The e-mail was from someone who called themselves "Pirate Hooker".
That last one just ruined my childhood...I will never be able to watch Hello Kitty ads on TV again...
I am in love with the Hello Kitty cake, not least because it's got my my name on it - AND it's spelled correctly.
You guys, did you check out Charmaine's other photos of Hello Dominatrix? Her bare bum is showing!!! That is hilarious, and not something you'd think of seeing on Hello Kitty.
As for the "dumpster dining" cake - that is truly disgusting! How could any store worker think it was okay to leave that icky mess in the case. I cannot imagine how long it had been sitting there to get to the state it was in...
That Hello Kitty cake is so...deviant on so many levels! Glad it's not for a kid, though if it was, it would be right up (down?) there with all those slutty Halloween costumes marketed at teen girls every year... Wouldn't be surprised if it pops up *as* a Halloween costume next year. There's a slutty Dorothy (Wizard of Oz) costume all ready...
@SuBee - I remember the video, those funky step-pyramid-but-round-not-square hats, their Honda scooter commercial, and doing our aerobic exercise to it in middle school PE class. (I was surprised we were permitted to even *hear* it whilst in school.)
@SirLaffsalot - Good One! Bwahahahahahaha!
I was thinking "pirate hooker" is a reference to the movie Anchorman.
@Little Boy Blue - that was classic!! My dog is quite distressed now by my laughing so hard,. :P
Not to be the pervert here, but the Hello Kitty cake *might* be a reference to 50 Shades of Grey. *Might* But, then of course, I have no idea what that's about.
I have the giggles. I can't even stop long enough to think of anything cleverish or high five someone else who did. :D
SuBee, that was AWESOME! You are giving Sharyn a run for her money!!
That Hello Kitty cake is made of eighty kinds of awesome. I long for someone to love me enough to get me such a cake.
Happy Dominatrix Kitty is not a wreck. Her creator is an artist and she made me laugh for several minutes. If you could come up with a theme, she would not be out of place in a Sunday Sweets post.
As for the other cakes, I ain't eating no "squirl" and am glad you warned me about snow calligraphy. I shall avoid that.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek lol. That pirate hooker cake makes me wonder what the story is behind it..then again after seeing that Hello Kitty cake maybe I am better off not knowing lol.
For those who think the Hello Kitty cake is weird....well...they DID make a Hello Kitty "neck massager" wink wink, nudge nudge. (This website has pix if you don't believe me--and of a dozen other Hello Kitty weirdnesses!