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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jan312013

An Indecent Proposal

Suppose you're a professional baker, and you want to propose to the love of your life. What do you do?

Why, you make a cake of course!

And you pour all of your time, talent, and t-passion into that cake, because this, of all the cakes in your career, is without a doubt the most important.

Right?

RIGHT?

Ok, fine - I guess you could also do this:

 

0.o

Putting aside the fact that I'm oddly reminded of a Holiday Inn bedspread, I have to say I'm most curious about that oh-so-unique texture. What do you think the baker used? Bath sponge? Plastic bag? Hair brush?

 

Thanks to Ashley W., a "friend" of the happy couple who assures me the answer was still "yes." Dude. THAT GIRL IS A KEEPER.

« Supper Bow Tie Optional | Main | Literally? LITERALLY. »

Reader Comments (61)

Hi, all! This is my very first comment on CW and... uh... what can I say? At first glance, that... cake... kinda reminded me of a toilet. Glad it had no filling on the inside... you know... like chocolate XD.

(Then again, it would defeat the purpose, since this WAS supposed to be a wedding ring. But what if there was a finger? O.O... uh, ok, leaving to everyone's imagination... and leaving. Bye!)

Thanks for this wonderful blog :-)!!!

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGutz Grilla

At least the proposal is spelled correctly. I've seen so many people that ask, "Will you mary me?"

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

I think it's particularly awesome that the wreckerator homed in on that amazingly popular "beige diamond" fad we hear so much about lately.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

Ooo, it's shaving cream!
Did he have to eat his words?
Napkin in the rough.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

That diamond looks just peachy! :-)

(Bet I'm only the ba-zillionth person to say that, right?)

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Color choices are weird, yes, but I can't get past the untreated cake board that has soaked up the buttercream frosting and left greezy outlines around the cake and writing. Urg.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJasry

There are indeed diamonds of that color see the ("author URL" above), but maybe he meant the top of the ring to be the golden setting and just could not afford to spring for gold leaf...

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

Ok, so was this done by a decorator for his/her fiance? Or was this ordered by someone else?

If I ordered a wedding cake to propose (which never occurred to me), and it looked like that, I'd scrap the whole idea. Just saying.

KarateLady, is that diamond peachy or carrot? Yeah, the carrot/carat jokes don't work as well in print. :(

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

Good idea, badly executed-glad the girlfriend still loved him :)

Haiku Joy bwahahaha

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

"t-passion" makes this.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

@Muria - Carrot/carat FTW!!! (Boy, that was fast!! :-)

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Aaaand kudos to Haiku Joy, too! You're really on fire this week!

You have the flaming brilliance of a... of a...

...of a DIAMOND!!! :-)

(rim-shot)

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

That's clearly the logo for FireFish(tm), a new web browser which helps you navigate the stormy seas of teh interwebz, plumbing its murky depths for pron and kittehs while avoiding the turbid shoals of spam sites and "404: Not Found".

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

It looks like a combination hemmeroid pillow/whoopie cushion

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonna M

Cool that they had a cake decorated with a pink-tailed chalceus (chalceus macrolepidotus). I guess they're tropical fish lovers.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFM

I don't really see a ring. I see the offspring of a lifesaver (mint flavored) with a butterscotch candy, the wrapped kind. Maybe this is what happens if you don't clean out your purse for a few years.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterstaying anon.

Toilet seat with a goldfish tail.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

At first I saw a fish, then a toilet seat, then a fish again. It took a minute for it to register as a ring. I think what happened is that they got the colors backwards. That peachy color was supposed to be the ring, and the white should've been the diamond. I agree that I would've just tossed the whole thing and thought of another proposal idea!

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

With this thing, I thee wed...

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

That reminds me so much of one of those hemorrhoid donuts.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret Thatcher

Great idea but poorly executed. It would, however, be awesome if the umm.. diamond was carrot cake! (see what I did there?) It could be worse. My ex proposed to me by handing me a 20 piece box of McNuggets with the ring inside. Yeah, he was a smooth one alright.

@Haiku Joy ~ I'm so glad you're still around. Your comments just make me smile (or snort coffee out my nose)
Nice @BADKarma! Do you think there's an app for that? ;-)

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

It may (or may not) interest you to know that when viewed upside down the "diamond" part of the ring looks sort of tail-like. What that tail would belong to I have no idea, I only mention it because now that I know how to lock my screen and look at images upside down I have been doing so all week in the hopes of seeing something redeeming in the wrecks.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

I agree with Jasry- as horrifyingly badly done as this wreck is, I think the cake board with the "bleeding" letters is bothering me more.

And SuBee...LOL

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterPeachkins

There's no better way to propose than with a toilet seat stuck to a pink paper fan.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGigi

SuBee FTW. :) Awesome.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

In his defense, he was probably shaking in terror the entire time.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTaylor P

It seems the baker spent the most time on the burnt love note in blue and ran out of time to actually decorate the cake. It's like on Face Off when they have to paint the whole body in last looks.

Hi @Gutz Grilla! Welcome.

@BADKarma: teehee

I'm with @Jasry, that greasy cakeboard is distracting, at least.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Needs a carat jockey.

(I decided a cake break was in order.)

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I also see a fish. Ha!

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMellissa Rose

Where the heck is Sharyn??? Hellooooooo????? Are you ok???

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

She said YES on the condition that he find another line of work, coz cake decorating ain't gonna pay the bills!

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoseParrot

Oh, it is a ring? I definitely thought it was an ugly fish.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterErica

Naturally, this unique texture was achieved by using a toilet brush.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

I was braced for the cupcakes my brother used for the same thing...

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterchunter

My husband actually did propose to me with a cake, but he had the good sense to purchase it from a non-wrecky bakery. This mess should have sent the prospective bride running far and fast!

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJudi

I sure hope the bride-to-be has a good job; I'm not sure the baker will be able to support them, if this is typical of his work.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

I hope they don't use that bakery for their wedding and/or groom's cake.

And I have a cake baking in the oven right now, but it's not getting any icing--professional or not. (Red Devil's Food, not to be confused with Red Velvet.) ((No reason, except I had some sour milk in the fridge and it's cold outside--good reason for cake, right?
))

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

It looks like a toilet seat with a fish tail.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCara

Okay, Jasry's comment has made me sheepishly ashamed that until I read it, I thought the "untreated cake board" was a white sheet cake under the design!

That said, my take on the "ring" is that it looks more like a colorless holiday wreath and the "diamond" is a very pale bow.

This is almost like one of those ink blot tests!

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJody

@Jodee in WA: When my husband proposed, he put the ring on an Astro Pop and handed it to me while we were driving in the car. I'm not sure what his origninal plan was, but this was his way of cheering me up on a bad day. It worked! (How sweet of him. Eh? Get it?) My BIL couldn't believe I actually ate the Astro Pop instead of keeping it forever in some scrap book or something.

Also @Jodee in WA: I was thinking the same thing yesterday, but thought I might wait a day or so before sending out the search party for Sharyn. I think I'll head over to the bunker and make sure Theardare doesn't have anything to do with this. "Theardare, you have some s'plainin' to do!"

@zoomom: it amuses me to no end that you are locking the ipad just so you can look at the cakes upside down. : D

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

@Jasry

That there is why Aluminum Foil is any cake decorator's best friend. If I'm going to have a cake sitting on a cake board for longer then an afternoon I'll foil wrap even a professional cake board.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

Jodee in WA: I'm here, Jodee. We had early school things for the kidling the last couple of days -- Cake Wrecks publishes here at 7:00 AM, and I was trying to get everyone ready and out the door. Then just a couple of busy days catching up on all the things that slid when I had the crud. I've been GREATLY enjoying all your brilliant comments.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

All I can think is this bride posted a pic to Facebook and comments came flooding in that said "Oh, you should send it to Cake Wrecks... awkward...

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTia

i thought that it was a life saver (the candy with the hole) with a fish tail - didn't even think of it being an engagement ring.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjane lewis

@Sharyn - Glad you're back! I knew Theardare wouldn't hurt you - you know just where to scratch his itch... <SMILE> BTW - how did you infect my family through the internet?! Everyone's got or getting the crud over here...except me! (Thank goodness! It doesn't figure though, since I read Cake Wrecks waaaay more than the rest of 'em!)

@Andrea & Jodee in WA - my husband proposed by "finding" my ring under a shell while we were strolling on Surfside Beach, a couple of hours south of Houston. I still have the shell (and the ring, of course!) :-)

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

I don't understand, is she going to have a coral seashell instead of a diamond on her ring? :)

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

are we sure that wasn't a Styrofoam wreath ring???

like they say, the cobbler's children go barefoot; I guess the wreckerator's fiancee goes...yeah, sorry, I got nuthin'. stupid analogy, anyway.
(shrug)

(said brightly) pretty scrolls under the writing!! In all seriousness, I give him props for carrying through and doing it. I've never proposed to anyone and I always give the proposer major credit for what must be a real nightmare moment (even if they're sure of the answer).

um, Jodee, please tell me McNugget Boy was an ex "boyfriend!" You didn't specify. (feel free to lie) ;)


@Andrea Face Off for the win! I think I saw this as a "crown" on an episode.


Off topic: Craig & HaikuJoy, hope your respective friends are hanging in there. HUGS

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

@Andrea ~ That was awfully sweet ;) **giggle**snort** Did you at least keep the stick???

@zoomom ~ I plan on hitting you up later this month when I get my ipad. Some of these wrecks might just make sense if I could look at them upside down and I'm a little old to be standing on my head!

@Sharyn ~ I'm so glad you're ok! I was worried you went to quarantine island without me! Although I'm starting to feel like I might need to head there again :(

@Barbara Anne ~ I dodged that bullet, mostly o.O

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

Could be worse I suppose lol. The ring does look a bit like it has a shrimp tail but heck I would probably still eat the cake. Can you tell I am hungry right now? Lol

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

But can we agree that he has very nice handwriting? AND he spelled everything properly!

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKendra

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