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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jan292013

LEGGO MY LEGO!

Hey, yesterday was LEGO's 55th birthday! Yep, that's 55 whole years of tiny bruises and hopping around the house on one foot while cursing - which is definitely grounds for cake, don't you think?

 

Hmm. Maybe a LEGO cake would be more appetizing.

Now, in theory, a LEGO brick cake is pretty simple to make: just stack cupcakes on a sheet cake, frost the whole shebang, and then stick as many LEGO flotsam pieces on it as possible so people don't think you've created an edible skin rash:

 

 I have an irresistible urge to step on this.

 

You can also use the time-tested, wreckerator-approved method of just writing what the cake is supposed to be ON the cake, so people are sure to get the hint:

 

If I were Kyle, I'd be hoping there were another 9 cakes waiting in the wings.

 

Still, those aren't half bad for homemade, right? Of course, they're not homemade, they're professional. And so is this:

 (The Cliffs of INSANITY!)

 

And this:  

It's like the underside of a sheep belly. A cold sheep belly.

(Ok, not THAT cold, but still, you know, pretty cold.)

 

And this: 

 There's a "sh***ing bricks" joke in here SOMEWHERE, I just know it.

 

If you want your LEGO cake to get really confusing, just add crayon candles:

 I see a pair of goggles exploding rainbows. Which is almost awesome.

 

And you're never going to believe it, but this, too, is a professionally made "LEGO" brick cake:

[looking around]

[shifty eyes]

Ok, if no one else is going to say it, I will:

 

LEGO NIPPLES.

 

FUN FACT: The little bumps on LEGO bricks are called "studs."

FUNNER FACT: Today's wreckporters Breanna, Amanda K., Cindy S., Autumn & Dylan, Sondra D., Brian K., Gwen I., & Cricket are total stud-magnets. Awww yeeeeah. (Also: ouch.)

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Reader Comments (47)

Princess Bride references make my day! :)

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

New geek tradition:
replace chicken head biting
with dismemberment.

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Sung to “Somebody that I Used to Know” by Gotye
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY

Now and then I think of wrecks we’ve seen together
These lego cakes are just so crappy I could cry
Their many fails are just a sight to see
Can’t call it lego just ‘cause it’s bumpy
And my affection for construction bricks is over

We could have predicted there’d be certain types of badness
Don’t have to step in it to know how this will end
But flotsam, writing and cliffs don’t make sense
Cold sheep and baby poop just make me tense
Exploding goggles and nipples are so over

Now these lego cakes have put me off
Let’s pretend they never happened and that we bought nothing
‘Cause I don’t really need this stuff
Each cake is getting stranger and that makes me gruff
How can Wreckerators stoop so low?
Take your money for these cakes and then just make another
I guess somebody buys them, though
These just aren’t the lego bricks I used to know.

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Does the seventh one remind anyone else
of a battleship piece?

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAna

Lego nipples. hahaha I love the swirl studs. not. even. trying....

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

"Little Geek" is an awesome nickname. Not sure why Little Geek's birthday cake is severed greenish foot, though.

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBB, Miami

Yay, you didn't call them Legos, since we all know that Lego can be singular and plural and that really we should call them "Lego bricks."

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAthene

@Sharyn = Excellent, as always!

Great post. Lego nipples? Or is it just the cold seeping from the sheep's belly?

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKim in ID

I think these bakers are pulling my leg with these...come on, lego of me.....

@Sharyn: toooooooooooo funny......

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

If I were a six-year-old kid, and someone gave me one of these, I'd never want to play with Lego ever, ever again.

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

Sharyn, Haiku joy bwahahaha. Some of those aren't too bad, but the s##&^ bricks one made go WTF? D:

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

The pink one just made me think of a Chenobyl Cow....so you can imagine how much I laughed when I got to the cold Sheep!

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKirri

I wish I could post a photo in the comments because that last cake looks just like a set of vintage Playskool building bricks I had back in the 70's that's in my box of antiques to eventually put on e-Bay.

Oh wait, they're online! Google Image Search Playskool Building Bricks

So perhaps not a "Lego" cake? It's just a Lego knockoff?

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChristy

Did anyone else think that number 4 looked like the underside of a milk cow? with a cuple too many udders?

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKrysmon

I just read the Little Geek dedication on the 1th cake. Are you sure this wasn't made by John (ThoJ) for Jen's last birthday?

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

Yeah, the pink one makes me except to see puppies run up and start drinking.

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

Sheep have udders. Drew's cake looks like the underbelly of a cyanotic sow. Just saying. No, really, say it, it's kind of fun: "CYANOTIC SOW"...

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I will admit it. My husband and I have more Lego Bricks than our children, and they have pretty impressive collections. My foot has looked a bit like that cake, just smaller, and paler (I'm quite fair skinned) and pinker, but very bruised from stepping on a stray Lego on more than one occasion. These pictures and others like them are why I have never and will never attempt to make a Lego cake. Lego bricks may look simple, but really, they're not.

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRikki

My 10 y/o has requested a Lego brick cake for his next birthday. I think I need to avoid these featured designs!

And seriously LOL at Lego nipples!

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Awwww....now you've gone and made me nervous, as I've got to make a 8-stud blue Lego brick for my godson's birthday this weekend!! No kind of training whatsoever, and I don't profess my cakes to be anything but tasty, but I still hope they at least look decent, but now I'm not sure it will!
Forget it, I will make an oath here and now: I solemnly swear, on Cake Wrecks most holy, not to put crazy floatsam all over my Lego brick cake. I also swear not to make my Lego studs on my cake look like stud-poo. If I do these things, so help me, the photos of my cake may be ridiculed for breaking said oath.

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDebs

Love these. I made a four stud blue lego brick for my sons birthday and mine was better than this and it was my first attempt at a proper birthday cake. Son is a major lego fan so know the joy of lego feet.

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Was Little Geek the victim of an amputation due to gangrene, by any chance?

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

the pink one looks like udders - just missing the upside down cow!

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commentertinnymc

@jackwire: If John(thoJ) made Jen a cake: I picture John(thoJ) breaking out the metal working tools and making Jen a one of a kind cake panWOW of her very own, except this mold would be something really cool that we would all literally drool over and want for our very own and then Jen would have to have John(thoJ) make more for giveaways and to sell at the Stuff store.

@Christy: I think you are giving the wreckerator too much credit. : )

I think I would rather eat the gangrenous(thanks @Beth) foot than ANY of those Lego cakes. blerg.

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Cliffs of Insanity, sh**ing bricks, and Lego nipples...
Cake Wrecks can always put a smile on my face!
Thanks!

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

The first cake made me recoil in horror the second I saw it.
Sharyn, Haiku Joy, a triumph as usual!
Ana, yes!
Cake #4 reminds me of Pedro, Napoleon Dynamite's friend, when he said, "That little guy is nipple number five." (and number six in this case!)
Princess Bride references make me smile every time!

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTaffy Cake

The pink Lego cake made be think pig underbelly before I saw the blue sheep underbelly description for the cake that followed. I thought "green nipples" before I read "LEGO nipples". And I saw yellow poop piles before seeing the "sh... bricks" comment. But I'm a man. I see poop and nipples in everything, (LOL), even the "O" in LOL. SOMEBODY HELP ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterChris

Does anyone else think the foot actually looks like someone decapitated an Ood?

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Bahaha, some just look like they frosted the bottom of a muffin pan.

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnon

Right you are, Andrea. I' m sure the cake would be an engineering marvel, and delicious to boot, but the inscription would still be the same.

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

My 11 year old says that the blue one looks like Avatar sheep-cow udders

January 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShalin

I would much rather step on these cakes than on an actual Lego lol. At least these look softer but who knows what the evil wreckerator did to it. Man I really hope not to get one of these for my birthday.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I think Hayden's yellow Lego looks like a car battery. I sort of want to pop up one of the little caps and check the fluid level.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterVon

Mel LOL!

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMorag

Is anybody else concerned with the fact that the dye in the icing on the last one seems to have leeched away from the edges and is now pooled in the center of the cake? Exactly how OLD is that cake???

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

A little late to the meme here... :-)

@ Debs & Von - <GRIN>

Sharyn & Haiku Joy - Excellent as usual.

@ Andrea - Squeee! Let's make him do it!!! (But how?! Could you persuade Theardare to have a little "talk" with John(thoJ)? :-)

PS If you ever want to be a Lego brick for Halloween, just get a nice box, add some plastic 160z cups to the front for Lego studs, and spray paint with your Lego color of choice. Heard it works real nice. For a hat, use a smaller box & one cup and spray paint - voila! (And a strap, of course.)

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Just so you know, sheep only have two teats. And they're located on an udder between their back legs, not along the belly.
Stop looking at me like that. Being a sheep farmer doesn't preclude me from enjoying cake wrecks.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDee

Sorry I missed this. Yesterday recalibrated my personal 'bad' scale.

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

@Craig hugs!!

January 30, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Thanks, @Barbara Anne. My Pastor's wife died unexpectedly. Marathon session at the hospital before, during and after. She's infinitely better off now than those of us who remain.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Aww, Craig! I am sorry to hear that. May whatever it is be as fixed as it can be as soon as possible.

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Maybe conjoined twin sheep for #5?

January 31, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterguava_grrl

Two years ago in my first attempt at designing a cake, I made a Lego cake for my son. It definitely was not professional looking, but it looked better than every one of these. Frosted oreo cookies make much better studs on Lego cakes than cupcakes.

February 1, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

@KarateLady: I don't think John(thoJ) listens to Theardare. John(thoJ) is master of the Left Ear Scratch shora and the Vulcan Laser Pointer Keyring Pinch.

February 4, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

@Andrea - Vulcan Laser Pointer Keyring Pinch?! <GRIN>

@Craig - I'm sorry for your loss. Prayers and thoughts with you & yours.

February 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

I can't believe I missed this! Is it weird that I am proud to join the ranks of Wreckerators with my nasty foot cake? For those that wanted to know- My dad ordered this for a friend who broke his foot doing something dumb and lied about it and said he was golfing... Not too sure why they call him little geek though...Thanks Jen and John for posting it!!!

February 18, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBreanna

0.0
o

^^^ My face when I saw that "LEGO nipples" cake. Just - - 0.0
o

October 14, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTokaiyaBMalfoy

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