My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

A Team Effort

Ever wonder how a Cake Wrecks post gets written? Well, sometimes, it's like this:


Me: "I need a post idea. Any funny holidays coming up?"

John: [googling] "Hmm. Oh. Here we go: it's National Self-Help Group Awareness Month."

Me: "Isn't a 'self-help' group an oxymoron?"

John: [Already back to playing Tiny Wings on his phone] "Mmmmmhmmmm."

Me: "And what cakes would I use, anyway?"

::five minutes later::

Me: "Found one! Look:"

"See, the cupcakes on the right are all, 'Help me!!' and the left ones are like, 'DO EET YERSELF.' Eh?"

John: [glancing over] "You can't use those. They look like KKK cupcakes."

Me: "Ha! Yeah, but...they're chocolate. C'mon. That's kind of awesome."

John: "NOPE."

Me: "Fine. What else have you got?"

John: "Er..." [scrolling] " week is Meat Week."

Both together: "Naaah."

John: "Glaucoma Awareness Month?"

Me: "Oooh! I have the perfect cake for that!"

"No, wait, wait. HERE we go:"

Me: Bwahahaha!! Right? RIGHT?!"

John: [silence]

Me: "Or is that cataracts?"

John: "I don't understand. Do you ENJOY hate mail?"

Me: "Ok, Ok, never mind."

John: "Next you'll want to use Stocking Awareness Month. "

Me: "That's this month? Weird. You'd think it'd be last month."

John: "Why?"

Me: [busy clicking]

John: "You're not actually writing about Stocking Awareness Month, are you?"

Me: [still clicking] "Mmmhmm...."

John: "Jen..."

Me: "Hang on. Busy here."

John: "Jen..."

Me: "K, how 'bout this one?"

"Were you AWARE that this is, in fact, a stocking?"

John: [staring]

Me: "What? Not good enough?"

John: "It's 'stocking' with an 'AL.' You know, stalking?"

Me: [eyes wide] "Ooooooooooh."

John: "Yeah."

Me: "Well, I guess that makes more sense."

John: "Yeah."

Me: "But I think I have a cake for..."

John: "I'm going to stop you there. It's also National Handwriting Analysis Week. GO WITH THAT."

Me: "Ok, ok. FINE."


So without further ado, my dear Wreckies, here is today's post:


It's National Handwriting Analysis Week. I can tell you that the baker of today's cake was a focused individual with a flair for the dramatic, as well as someone who channels his or her emotions through humor. He or she may also have a less than helpful spouse who is MORE than welcome to write a post again himself sometime. JUST SAYIN'.


Thanks to Katrina V., Traci C., Selena E., Amanda R., & Brea S. for making today a day worth celebrating. And also thanks to John, my sweet hubby, for still laughing at all my jokes even while telling me I absolutely can NOT write that.

« A Minor Oversight | Main | You Don't Know Jack »

Reader Comments (69)

OMG... your poting in realtime is freaking HULARIOUSIO! Although, I would have LOVED to see a stalking cake. Just sayin, I'm sure they are out there....

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

Cake to present to your boss - $22.99, quitting with a flair - priceless.

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

Why hate Canada?
Not deep-fried! The Disney font!
It was made with love!

There's my hate mail. I hope Jen enjoys it, as she's apparently into that kind of thing.

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Sung to the chorus of “I Believe I Can Fly”

I believe cupcake guys
Doing self-help is the thing to try
Other ideas might not be OK
Who wants cake with cold cuts anyway?
Blur the eye cake some more
Guaranteed to up the hate mail score
Let’s wait for John’s reply, he’s a sensible guy
“Give it another try.”

I believe there’s a “L”
Otherwise stocking cake would be swell
Put the stalking cake picture away
“I Quit” cake’s the winner here today
Please, Jen, tell us some more
‘Bout the baker at the grocery store
The way she dots her “i”, shows a helpful spouse guy
Who is welcome to try

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Those eyebrows look like someone shaved the middle of a unibrow, extra thick.

* Shudder*

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarhath

OK, someone has to explain the logistics of "cake" no. 2 to me. If you walk up toa buffet line at a party and see this . . . . creation. . . . .what are you supposed to do? Start peeling off layers? Cut into it? Scoop up the stuff that's around the tray? If I were confronted with this, I'd head straight back to the bar.

I do, however, LOVE the demonic cupcakes! I'd love to see those served at a mental health conference, lined up just the way they are. Priceless!

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

"Let them eat olive loaf."
Deli ' Antionette

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Just as long as you're not trying to send a message with that last cake...

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCookieD'oh

It took me a minute to get the stocking joke. Must be a regional dialect. Here in NY, we pronounce stalking more like "STAW-king."

By the way, here's an advance warning: The first week in May is Cartoon Appreciation Week, and May 5 (a Sunday this year) is National Cartoonists Day. You've got three months to prepare.

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBob

Bwahaha!! I always love your posts, but today had me laughing out loud (much to the confusion of my kids who "didn't get it"). Thanks for starting my day with a smile!

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

@SuBee: That was brilliant.

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Sharyn, Haiku joy BWAHAHAHA as for todays post lol lol lol

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Thanks for letting us stalk you during the creative process!

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

You never let us down, Cake Wrecks. There is indeed a cake for everything. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. It's comforting, really. Almost as good as believing in Santa Claus.

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie S.

Marie Antoinette in a big, ol' stack of meat. I don't understand but I almost wish I could see that in real life. I would bask in the weird glory of such a thing.

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

The original Glaucoma cake could double for the Stalking cake.

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRob

Two days in a row I burst out loud laughing. It's a good thing I'm alone in my office. Your interaction with John reminds me of mine with my hubby. So endearing. I can't believe you find time to do this everyday. I hope it always remains your priority.

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDana

Well, I just looked it up, and today is National Blonde Brownie day. Yesterday was both National Squirrel Day and National Hugging Day. Tomorrow is National Handwriting Day, National Pie Day, and Measure Your Feet Day. (Everyone, measure your feet tomorrow!)

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMimiheart

When I was getting married back in the 90s, there was an ad at the back of a wedding magazine advertising "Veils, Shoes, Garters, Stalkings...". I kind of wanted to order the stalkings, since it might have made the evening a little more fun to have a creeper lurking in the shadows.

March 1st, my birthday, is National Pigs Day, if you're taking hints for inspiration.

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmyG

hahahaha....loved this! I quickly googled "National Holidays" and saw that today is "Jen and john (thoj) Appreciation Day." Ironically enough, it was also yesterday, the days before, and is all the days after today.... Thank you for all you do day after day to make us laugh and restore a small bit of sanity in a real crazy world.... You two are the funniest, most clever people I have ever met!

@Sharyn: I Think I Can Fry....toooooo funny....
@SuBee: bravo!
@Haiku Joy: you continue to amaze and amuse...

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

After seeing the last cake, I will now have the song "Take this job and shove it" running through my head all day at work. Which may or may not be a good thing seeing as I sometimes hum...And everyone here knows THAT song. And the big boss was teasingly suggesting karaoke earlier...

...I need to find all the words now, don't I?

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

3 cheers for self-expression!
The last cake is from an individual who was offered the choice of dress more professionally, or be demoted.
"Tuck in this shirt?" I quit!
Don't know why it was censored, tho.

P.S. Where can I order a Deli Antoinette for my Super Bowl party?

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

I love that the stocking cake is a variety pack because it has 3cookies on it.

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbeccajo

"Let them eat olive loaf"!! I LOVE this!!!

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

@jackwire ... "Deli Antoinette?" good one.

Now all I can think of is "You've been Chopped" jokes. And the basket you have ...
- cold case prepackaged deli variety pack
- prebagged, pre-washed mixed greens
- commercial cake mix
- upper doll torso, generic female, circa upper class 1700s style

You have 15 minutes before the game start. You must use all ingredients or YOU will be chopped.

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Meat Week? With a Marie Antoinette doll sticking out of the top of the "meat cake"? Dear God and all the saints of Heaven......has it really come to this? O-O

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commentercrownring

BTW, Jen, if you want to keep up with all the great holidays, here's a great resource from Hallmark:

Today it's National Answer Your Cat's Question Day. Theadare, any inquiries?

I must have been really bedazzled this morning by the surprise snowstorm here. I totally missed that Deli' Antoinette's skirt was partially made of . . . olive loaf. Not even a martini could get me to eat that!

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Hmmm, I wish you had posted a picture of a stalking cake....there are a few people on the comment board to whom I could send one.

@TLC: Theardare wants to know who drew mustaches on all the Theardare plushies, statues, sketches and paintings in the atrium.

So, Lady Gaga wasn't so original with her meat dress, then?

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I found the Deli Antoinette rather intriguing, much like @Haiku Joy was drawn to edible babies.

Whatever you do, DO NOT Google images of "deli meat sculptures" nor "meat sculptures". Unless you wish to know what it feels like to have your insides instantly turn to vinegar, don't do it. Trust me on this.

For those of you who refuse to heed my warnings, be sure to look for the Meat Enterprise, the Bacon At-At and the cooked version of the meatloaf baby with a bacon diaper that has been featured here before. Sadly (or perhaps fortunately), I did not see the cooked version of Justin Biefer.

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Once again, CW has me laughing out loud :D

I agree that everyday should be "Jen & John appreciation day"!!!

Andrea- I was also wanting to mention Lady Gaga's meat dress! i guess it's inspired odd food compositions...:b

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKrisfromParis

Love the interaction between you guys. I'm pretty sure we all love john (thoJ) a little bit around here. You just gave us one more reason. :D

@SuBee ~ Welcome back! Made me snort which, while less than lady like, is pretty much par for the course around here. At least I wasn't drinking anything this time!

@Sharyn ~ Yeah, you're amazing. Maybe we should just keep those reservations for Quarantine Island just so I can hang out with you?

@TLC & @Andrea ~ It wasn't me! I swear! p.s. Lady Gaga scares me o.O

@mel ~ You're absolutely right! Every day is Jen and john (thoJ) appreciation day!

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

wow, I'd like to hear/read the story behind the last cake

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterlawnajo

Hilarious post! Kept me laughing, as usual. You two must constantly be cracking each other up!

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermarnieb

Love the inside look at the creative process! Or, perhaps, the desperate process?

I have no doubt that you could find enough cakes for a big post about Stalking Awareness.

TLC- National Answer Your Cat's Question Day, huh? So, who's going to translate the meows into an actual question for me?

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!! By far one of your funniest posts. I LOVE Jen & John banter!

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterM. Baracuda

Blueberry Cheesecake day AND Cherry Dessert Day. May 26! I'm so lucky!! Awesome post today, Jen and john (thoJ). Comments were brilliant as well! As usual! Now I'm off to check out the sights at our village's annual National Glaucoma Day festivities.

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBlueberry'sForever

Somebody wants a Manilow concert, it seems. The worst part is, Theardare doesn't know who the perp is, or he wouldn't be asking. Unless it's a rhetorical question, designed to flush him or her out of hiding...

I knew normal probability had been reasserted too quickly. That infernal computer contracted with Sirius Cybernetics Corp. for security monitoring hardware. Evidently, it was keeping out anyone who wasn't causing mischief. Why do I think SCC is a government contractor.

Well, we all know the saying: If you want it done right, your expectations are too high.

(Mutter, mutter, kids today...)

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

In case you are ever in need of a huge compendium of weird/funny/little known/BS holidays, check out
it's pretty awesome!

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

I also want a "Deli Antoinette".

Did you all know that yesterday was not just "Martin Luther King Day", but also "Squirrel Appreciation Day" AND "National Hugging Day".
Cake me that!

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

Well, in honor of Natl Answer Your Cat's Question Day, I answered my cat Spot's question this morning when I was holding a plate of cat food. She kept meowing at me to put it down, presumably calling out like those sea gulls in Nemo: "Mine?", 'Mine?", "Mine?"...And so, when I put it down within her reach, her question was thus answered. Our other cat Stash doesn't talk unless you trip over her or step on her, in which case she says "HEY! I WAS WALKING HERE!!!" (and with a Yankee New Yorker accent, no less! :-)

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Too funny!

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlisonH

Who made the last cake? I might need that one soon....
BTW to Heather. WGN news in Chicago did the Answer the cat's question thing this morning. The anchorman's cat called in, the weatherman translated for him and asked some very revealing questions. It was hilarious.

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMargieCreole

I also heard that today was "Change your profile picture to you breastfeeding your baby day" on facebook....SOOOOO Glad there are no cakes to show for it today!! LOL

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

hooray, john(thoj)! when you push her like that she gets all passive-aggressive funny and it's awesome. :D (of course, I've never been married so I don't know how it works on your end- but WE definitely enjoy the fruits of your labor)

shameless plug for my favorite upcoming holiday - still love 4/7 as Estonian Kissing Day. any day that calls for random kissing works for me! :)

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

One day, there will be a bowl of fondant babies on my desk. On that day, there will be pictures and a link.
Haiku Joy has spoken.

January 22, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Lmao at that last cake. Some days I wish I had used a cake like that when I left my job. Sheesh. I did however love those demon cupcakes. Those would have been quite a send off since I left my job got married and left the state lol. Hmm too late to turn back time I guess. Ah well.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

BEST POST...OMG I'm laughing so hard over here. My husband has think I lost my mind...and I almost peed my pants! Hahahahahaha!!

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmy Lee

As a perpetual victim of glaucoma and cataracts, I have to say that I loved the glaucoma cake!
But.... why did you post the same cake twice.....?

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterR

New Yorkers are weird. They don't believe that "log" and "dog" rhyme. True story. *** But back to the cakes...I think a "stalking" cake could have been last month. I mean, the guy is crawling around your roof and coming down your chimney to leave you gifts. And then there's that whole "he sees you when you're sleeping!" Dude! Whatta you call that? "Dropping in for a visit"? Just sayin.

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKaren O

Is it wrong that I sat here for a bit, putting on fake American accents, to try and make 'stocking' and 'stalking' sound that same? XD

January 23, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterVoiceMail

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>