Thursday
Aug302012
Like Aversion?
August 30, 2012 I read that on Tuesday Madonna was booed by the crowd after she showed up two and a half hours late to her own concert.
So to properly honor the pop star, I've decided to post today's wreck two and half hours late, at which point you can all boo it.
....
Just kidding. What kind of jerk makes makes people wait two and a half hours for the entertainment they paid a lot of money for??
(By the way, you all owe me a lot of money.)
Oh, and in the original photo, Willem Dafoe-in-drag is staring at his giant nipple.
I cropped that out.
You're welcome.
Thanks to Christine M. for the material hurl.
Reader Comments (76)
Sometimes there are no words.... :/
I think I just threw up in my mouth
Sung to “Vogue”
Look around. Everywhere you turn is bad cake
It’s everywhere that you go (look around)
If you want an appetizing birthday cake
Gray icing won’t make it so
When all else fails and it’s getting late
And your guests are getting quite hungry
It’s time to serve Madonna anyway
Give them a big slice, and here’s what they’ll say:
“Oh, wow. Gross!”
“Can I trade her lips for a finger?” (Give her the finger)
“That’s so gross!”
“What happened to Willem Defoe?”
“Wow, the bakery blew it!”
C’mom. Gross!! (Gross, gross, gross, gross)
Looks like Gene Hackman in The Bird Cage.
It looks like that awful "Gladys" painting from Friends!
Yes, we do all owe you a lot of money for continuing to be so entertaining (though I think you should split it with the wreckerators, 'cause they helped. Kinda)! I shall go out forthwith and buy lots of steampunk craftiness to show my appreciation (well, after I finish cross-stitching the present for my SIL's baby shower.... cause that's due Monday).
I have to ask though: which parts of that cake are 3D? I mean, obviously, the hand and the mike, and the nose, and possibly the eyelashes. And how far down Madonna's torso does this go?
... you know what? Maybe I don't want to know the answer to that last question.
And it would seriously suck to show up an hour early to get through the lines/parking for a concert, and have to sit there for 3 1/2 hours before the show starts. That's almost as bad as airport layovers.
If you order a 3D Madonna cake that shows her nipples...this is what you deserve to get.
Sharyn XD XD XD
When art and icing collide. Not good.
It really DOES look like that Gladys painting!
and here I am, thinking it looks like she (?) is trying to cram that microphone into her nose....
Willem Dafoe in drag. Can't unsee that. O_o
Oh holy moley....not only are there other photos of this wreck out there on the web (ALL of it - shudder) -- but the baker is actually proud of it!
Madonna? I thought it was Liza Minnelli !
Oh man, now I really want to order a cake of Willem Dafoe staring at his giant nipple and see what I get.
HILARIOUS!!!
- Maureen
There is just something about Madonna that irritates me. I don't know which is worse though, this cake or the fact that when she does show up to perform, she bares her 53 year old tukus like she desperately needs the attention.
Sarah G: "Oh man, now I really want to order a cake of Willem Dafoe staring at his giant nipple and see what I get."
Madonna...? :-)
Why's it so hard to make a nice cake? This wreck is truly lamentable. Honestly, who's that girl? She looks llike she has a fever. I stared at this for, like, 4 minutes. I'm so hung up over that mascara. I guess it must be in vogue or something. I love the Spanish eyes, but the hand is so morbid, like its frozen. Maybe this stuff sells in Buenos Aires, but not ... Hey! I get it now--He's a man! He's not looking at his nipple, but at his open heart. Like it or not, that is why this borderline cake decorator is causing a commotion.
Started to Google the Madonna cake, but thought better of it. It's probably NSFW anyway, and besides that... eeewww. This cake is what my kids would call "fugly".
That does not look like a nipple to me. I'm thinking more like something you'd find in some people's nightstand drawer.
If you want to see willem dafoe in drag
watch boondock saints. He does not make
a pretty woman. Looks a lot like that cake though
In case you can't resist - google madonna cake designs and look at the images. The full cake is there (and yes, thank you Jen for not including it), but it's not actually the worse Madonna cake out there. Eye bleach for everyone.
@ Katja ~ I just spit coffee on my desk. :-/
@Sharyn ~ You are one gifted individual!!! Now I'm going to hear "Gross(gross gross gross)" every time I hear that song!
As for that cake? Madonna? Really? I agree, it looks like Willem Dafoe in drag. Not a nice image for my minds eye. Can someone pass the brain bleach please?
Actually, to me this looks more like Mr. Smith/Elrond in his other big film: "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert"...
William Dafoe in drag - roflol
You crack me up!
Said my ten year old daughter, "It looks like she's fixing to shove that microphone up her snot hole!"
I dunno, I kinda think it looks exactly like her.
I'm not sure why she's sniffing her mic, but how about a link to the full picture?
@Sharyn - awesome as always!
@spudd - Gene Hackman in "The Bird Cage", that is brilliant, and a fitting comparison to the image on this cake - but not in a good way...
Jen, thanks for sparing us the visual of the remainder of that cake.
Maybe that's what she looked like when she showed up late. All puffy and lumpy and drugged. For all we know, this wreckerator may have been very faithful to the original. Especially if she has a bee allergy and got stung on her hand so it swelled up to giant man hand size. Who are we to judge?
Just kidding. We love to judge!
You'd think by now that I would know better than to google stuff you so wisely cropped out. Why? Why do I google?
I just discovered that if you google "madonna cake" you get a HUGE impressive collection of Madonna cake wrecks!!!
I would actually like to THANK the baker. At least it's eyes are shut. It's not looking at me and if I move veeerrrryyy s-l-o-w-l-y I can scroll down before it notices me and I won't have nightmares of the evil Mafoe sucking my soul out of my body with just the power of it's dead-eyed stare.
Not only is the cake image scary, but why did they ice it with wet cement? Yuck! This cake is unappealing on so many levels!
I don't even want to know what it is that she's shoving up her nose.
I don't want to know that I saw this. T_T
Oh good lord. Someone's supposed to eat that?
Hey! make alittle blood dribble out of her mouth ( or alot) and replace the mic w someones hand and you have Zombie Madonna, which I guess we arent far from anyway... Yummy!
P.S. Yes, we owe you a lot of money. Thank you Jen and ThoJ for our daily laughs, and for keeping this little community of nerdy humor together. Hopefully, no cakes got left out in the rain this week.
So of course I had to go to Google Images and Google "Madonna cake". <sigh> Not sure what sort of nipple I thought might be on the uncropped cake, but what's portrayed looked more like the giant, staring, inflamed eye of a huge, rabid white rabbit. Something out of a Tim Burton "Alice in Wonderland" nightmare segment. There is a place here in Portland called "Darcelle's" where you can go to see female impersonators put on a kind of talent review. The person on that cake looks like someone who used to work there but got a little long in the tooth. And inflamed in the...nah, never mind.
It's a great cake if they ordered Courtney Love.....
Man hand!
Dafoe-in-drag hahahaha!
You don't want to upset Madge. Have you seem those sinewy arms? *twitch*
Googled "3D Madonna Cake" images... ummm. The first one that popped up has grey icing too, but that was for her skin...
And I agree w/ M.Dale. Who orders this and specifically asks for nipples? Besides, shouldn't it be Janet Jackson instead?
Ummm...anyone else think that the microphone looks like something else entirely?
I may just have a warped mind, though.
Perhaps this cake was made to be eaten at a screening of "Body of Evidence."
I think this is pretty much a spot-on likeness of Madge. <shudder>
Part of the hand is concealed, but I'm pretty sure it's giving the "evil eye" sign to the chest.
Eww, although the cake itself sounds yummy. BTW, the baker is Tony "The Pastryarch" Albanese Cakes, website at thepastryarch.com. Source photo is at:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/tonyalbanesecakes/7436413844/
Why did I Google "Madonna nipple cake?" I knew better. I really did.
Off to find a therapist I can put on speed dial...