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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Mar212012

Spring Love is in Despair

So now that Spring is officially here, you know what's coming, right?

That's right: wedding season.

[rubbing hands together gleefully]

 

BRING ON THE WEDDING WRECKAGE!

 

Let's kick things off with a lovely Spring Fling inspiration:



...that in execution got a little, well, flung:

I like to imagine that this was delivered on the back of the baker's scooter, and that those smushed fondant butterflies on the sides were all tragic road casualties. Because, somehow, that actually makes this more excusable/believable.

 

What the baker says:

"Yes, I can do that!"

 

What the baker means

"Yes, I have some shiny ribbon!"

 

Maybe at the reception they shone a spotlight on the ribbon so the glare would blind all the onlookers. That's what I would do.

Oh, hey...maybe that was the baker's plan all along!

 

Bride: "That looks TERRI..."

Baker: [flashing ribbon]

Bride: "I CAN'T SEE! Where'd you go? Are you here? Where's the cake? Hey! WHERE'S MY PURSE?!"

[sound of running feet]

 

This next one could be a metaphor for life and love in so many ways. Not that I mean anything by that, fellas. 'Cuz I don't. So never mind. In fact, can we not talk about this anymore, please? It's just a cake, ok? SHEESH.

EXPECTATION:

REALITY:

Waw-waaaaaw.

 

Because wedding cakes are like marriages: some settling may occur.

 

Thanks to Valentina V., Michele W., & Paula B. for sharing their wedding day woes. We're here for you, ladies. Right after we finish laughing.

« Ahhhhh....GOOF OFF!! | Main | Spring Has Sprung »

Reader Comments (66)

@Gary- speaking from experience, hm? ;)

Entering into the fray: I have learned to never, ever enlarge the photos on CW. However, seeing so many commenters who thought the last one was great, I enlarged it thinking, “maybe there’e something there.” Yes, there is: evidence everyone is looking WAY to hard for a bright side. Are you newbies to CW? That cake is horrifying! The dots on the top tier have nipples which screams “amateur,” the frosting on the tops of the layers is not smooth at all, the borders are way out of proportion to the size of the layers, and the hearts on the bottom layer are stacked on top of each other instead of spaced out.

Look back at the inspiration- the dots on top are small (can’t see if nips due to the resolution), the borders are proportional (meaning small and integrated to the design), and the hearts are spaced across the tier.

*whew*

March 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

You know, I don't think I had the best looking cake at my wedding, but I think they looked a whole lot better than those wreck-a-likes. lol

March 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTerrie

Every time I see Missed Marks wreckage, it makes me soooo glad I had The Cheesecake Factory provide various flavored of cheesecakes for my wedding. Low expectations mean little disappointment!

March 21, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

I kinda liked the cake with the shiny ribbon. Maybe I am just easily distracted by shiny things..*look a quarter!*.. ahem. Lol yeah I am in a weird mood. Even my husband was shocked at some of those especially the first one that looked like a giant sat on it. Those poor brides..

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Not only can you buy all those flowers at SuperWalMart, but if it is possible to do nice-looking real buttercream and rolled fondant in MY non-professional kitchen maybe once every three years, then converting from fondant to buttercream and vice versa is not exactly a mind-numbing challenge. Just have to remember not to lick your fingers when it IS Sculpey and not frosting ;-), and to not put the Sculpey insects on the cake.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergobbler

The last cake looks OK?

Are you people looking at the same picture as me?

I think what happened was the baker dropped it onto the table from a great height, then dropped the hugely disproportionate, clearly pre-bought flowers on top, thus causing the already weakened foundation for the top 'layers' to crumble completely, resulting in a cake that looks like someone sat on it.

Also, Gary - 'These cakes wouldn't be so bad if you didn't have the picture of what they were supposed to look like'.

Duuuuuude.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

That last one, (aside from the crack in it, no excuse for that!) I thought was a fair replication in shape, basic design, and icing details. I was even wondering if it was deliberately scaled down for a small intimate "immediate family only" type of wedding...

until I read the bride's comment. You deserve kudos for not putting someone in hospital, lady.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBetty

The second cake looks o-kayish, other than leaning to the left on the top tier. It just looks NOTHING like the inspiration.

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkelticat

How is everyone missing the fact that there is a huge gap in the bottom tier of the last cake? I never, ever want to go to the weddings of people that think that cake is perfectly beautiful. LOL

March 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJT

The saddest part about the big shiny bow is that the baker had some mad piping skills ... Just shouldn't be practicing them on a cake that the original was screen printed

March 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBekazu

Lead Poisoning!?! Are you kidding me?

March 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNMLady

Jen, PLEASE tell people that those flowers on the last cake are pre-made and sold in a box. I work at Hobby Lobby and we sell them in the Wilton aisle ...along with the cake pans the baker SHOULD have used. No credit given. It sucks.

March 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAsh

You know how Jen sometimes says that the bakers sometimes get their inspiration from CW? I was cruising the wedding cakes tag and came across "Bride/Baker Communication 101". The last cake is almost a dead wringer for cake #3.

March 23, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkelticat

Maybe my students
wear massive shiny ribbons
while writing papers?

March 26, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

@Julyah -- I like your cake better!! :-)

June 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTonia

Haha, even my two year old looked at that last pair and pointed: "big...small" totally unprompted. LOL :-)

August 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

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