The Blizzard of Odd
December 11, 2012 It's only two weeks 'til Christmas, bakers. Quick! THROW PLASTIC CHRISTMAS FLOTSAM ON EVERYTHING!
;)
Oh come on, man. PUT YOUR BACK INTO IT!
;)
That's better.
Now, go make some cupcake cakes {PATOOIE!} that defy all laws of logic and common sense. DO EEET!
;)
Yessss, and use sprinkles instead of colored icing! GENIUS!
;)
I don't know what's happening here, but I like where your head's at.
Ok, now make a Christmas King Cake, because it's been WAY too long since those things got me in trouble:
;)
Of COURSE you can still use the purple sprinkles and little plastic baby, silly! It's a King Cake! But for Christmas! AND THIS MAKES TOTAL SENSE!
Now pass the eggnog, and let's go flash people on the street with our ugly Christmas sweaters for tinsel!
;)
WHOAH THERE, St. Nick. I said flash our sweaters!
And you call yourself a saint. REALLY.
Thanks to Daisy B., Andrea J., Ginny V., Lizz, Holly H., & Christine V. for the cup of holiday crazy.
Reader Comments (82)
what's the deal with CUPCAKE-CAKES?
is it really that much less work than a REAL CAKE-CAKE?
It clearly can't serve the same # of people.
FEH.
cheese - y.
That first cake is a wreck even without the light bulbs because of what a failure of engineering it is. You can't use fondant on a pull-apart cake! You'll just end up with one cupcake with icing on it, a bunch of bare cupcakes, and a sheet of loose fondant on the table.
Hello from New Orleans,
King Cakes are traditionally served from 12th Night (January 6th) through Mardi Gras Day. If you must have a delicious "King Cake" during the Christmas Season you should order a Kringle. Similar to a King Cake, but it has a praline/pecan icing and purists won't look at you in horror.
Love, Love, Love this website. It always makes me laugh out loud!
I finally concur that #3 is a stocking. And the two things coming out of the top of the stocking (one the left of the picture) are both candy canes. The one on the left is white with a few rust marks while the one on the right is pretty much the same, only with more rust marks AND a rust outline. Sad.
I see #3 as a goofy Christmas sweater, if you tilt your head to the right instead of left. Those two poofy things that are "supposed" to be the "toe" and "heel" of the "stocking" are the arms of the sweater and the poofy band at the bottom was to me the band at the bottom of a shirt/sweater. <*shrugs*> As for the other things at the bottom...? I guess the baker started on the pants too? ACTUALLY, reading it that way, that would NOT be the worst goofy Christmas sweater ever, although VERY very '80's...
I'm glad I wasn't the only one stumped by #3. My self-esteem was at an all-time low after the Casper the Friendly Walrus fiasco. I was feeling better until I saw the last pic. Looks like those Santas misunderstood when the elves said to get some "D's", they meant batteries.
#1 looks like Lays potato chips... made of frosting.
#2 Does nobody else see the bug in the middle? The big gold thingy in the middle of each of them, on that is seriously what looks like a big ol' bug! With legs and everything! I know there's other plastic bits on it but those bugs are all I can see!
#3 I think Karin has it right. "It would appear to be a very fluffy, sheepish parking lot that is trying to disguise itself as a stocking." Yep, exactly what she said!
#4 The CCC *patooie* Santa hat was actually working for me, until they ruined it with the extra heads. Really? C'mon... you were thisclose!
#5 umm.. no. Just NO!
#6 Santa, this is a side of you I've never seen! (Little Rascals anyone?) side note: I looked up Kugel on allrecipes.com and it's made of egg noodles, eggs, cream cheese and graham cracker crumbs. (at least the recipe I looked at). That totally makes sense why they put fondent and little paper hats and boobies on it. Yep, totally get it now. ...NOT!
Sharyn ~ I'm trying not to laugh when I hear Santa Baby at the office now. Thanks for that!
Oh mylanta. It took me SO long to figure out what that first cupcake cake (PATOOIE!) actually was. Its a stocking, right?? RIGHT?
Cake 3: Brown candy canes = 'poopermint'
@SuBee, uh, shouldn't that be "inflatable"? ; )
Cake Wrecks, Cake Wrecks. What am I going to do with you, eh? (No, I'm not Canadian. Not that there's anything wrong with that.) Today's post is a target-rich environment for an EPCOT, and... nothing. Well, almost nothing. I'm not even sure what Theardare is up to these days. At least there remains...The List. Muttering in parentheses.
#1 (Not even a good real-lights-on-cake debate.) Ahem. What are the 'petals', filo dough? Pasta? (In case I inadvertently mangled the spelling of filo, that's the only one spell check didn't flag. Take it up with Firefox.)
#2 The fine tradition of re-purposed pans has already been commented upon, as has 'yellow snow' (always like a visual pun). Did anyone notice the wrapped candies on the cakes?
#3 I thought this was topped with mini marshmallows, which was simultaneously cool and gag-inducing. Then they started to look like after-dinner mints, which was only gag-inducing. No idea what it's supposed to be.
#4 The formal title of this is, "Death of Ambition". It concerns the epic existential struggle between going to bakery school to develop what might be actual talent vs. staying at the grocery store making CCCs. I guess we know how that turned out.
#5 Ok, now we're cooking. Or baking. Or deep-frying, as the case may be. I like how the baby is wholly within the confines of the cake, yet not actually within the cake itself. A heroic attempt to satisfy everyone (which seems to have succeeded, given the dearth of comments, but I digress).
#6 Nothing sums up the gestalt of the zeitgeist like kugel. If those are supposed to be mittened hands, might they have been just a tad smaller and to the sides? Of course, that wouldn't be nearly as funny...
stands and applauds
(all of it- the post, the links back to the King cake debacle and the comments)*
*well, not the wreckerators, of course! duh.
Well these have me in tears laughing. I still say that one CCC looks like frosty got smashed by reindeer lol. Poor frosty. Heck poor cakes in general. Especially the one with yellow snow..yuck.
Yay, Craig's list is back! No, not craigslist..
Even with the frosting & sprinkles, I look at #5 and see giant pair of red lips. With a tiny baby between them. And some really odd sores...
@Sharyn, I'll never hear "Santa Baby" the same way again. :p
#2 - should come with a warning: 'Don't eat yellow snow'
Andrea - great song parody.
Anna Nimous - if you have seen Nikolos in Germany, can you explain what the boobs are supposed to be?
Bravo. Andrea!!! Fabulous song - had me laughing so hard that the dog was worried what was wrong with me!1 :D
Rose Bowl Parade dream.
Practice on this cupcake hat.
It smells . . . tastes . . . as sweet.
I once had a college student describe Santa as "buxom" in a paper. She was mortified when I told her what it meant.
Thank you, Isabella, for setting the record straight on St. Nicholas. Yes, he was a real person, and he is the one who brings gifts to children on December 6th. In other countries, the Three Kings bring gifts on January 12th, and Pere Janviere on January 1st. This leaves December 25th to be a purely religious holiday, which might solve a lot of problems!
It distresses me to see saints - real people, wo often died for their faith - made fun of. Ah, well; here endeth today's sermon.
Wow, I'm really impressed at the people who figured out what cake #3 is. I never would have got "stocking with candy canes" out of that.
Though I love the parking lot with snowdrifts idea.
Been said, but bears repeating:
Andrea & Sharyn - LOVE your parodies!
Craig - glad your list is back!
Can I join you guys in the bunker? I have vegan gluten-free chocolate chip cookies & donut holes! And I think we missed another King Cake Epcot by the skin of our teeth! You'd think people would know not to p_ss off Theadare by now! Not to mention that I'm thinking of joining his crusade... Can I set up a sparring cage in the gym? We'll use full protective gear & light contact only. Save the full contact for the wreckerato... oh, Hi, Theadare! (*Furiously* scratches him behind his left ear...) I was just... oh, no cage fighting?! Laser pistols are more merciful? Okay, Theadare, what ever you say... (Takes down the cage & packs up the mats & protective gear... <sigh>)
PS The first King Cake epcot was *hilarious*! (March 7, 2011 or thereabouts, if you're curious...)
Well done, Jes! totally did NOT see #3 as a stocking until you pointed it out.
These are fun. Like those old magic eye pictures. You stare until our eyes hurt and hope you see something that makes sense.
Craig! *waves emphatically* Hi, Craig! So sorry to disappoint. We were on the brink of Epcot with a couple of these cakes, but, nope. Nothing. Theardare has been unusually quiet lately. I'm a little worried what he has planned....hopefully he's just busy planning the News Year's Eve Bunker party. Although, that may not be such a great idea....instead of party poppers, he'll be passing out AK47s and M100s to ring in the new year!
@Haiku Joy: teehee! Now, your student has been proven right.
I don't know why someone would put Christmas lights on a flower, but if they are, wouldn't a poinsettia be more appropriate?
Also, I think third cake should be rotated clockwise. I think it's supposed to be a stocking filled with candy canes. Not a good one, of course. It would've been slightly, but just slightly, less wrecky if they have just used real candy canes rather than icing them that odd maroon color.
I liked the first one :)
@KarateLady now, everyone knows you've been training to be a cage fighter! ;)
Craig's back (it's about freakin' time,too).
Still applauding this post/comments. :D
@Barbara Anne - Well, I *was*. Been hard to find a place big enough for the cage... Bunker looked like the perfect spot but since Theadare lives there, what he says goes (for *obvious* reasons). Shoulda known that guns n ammo are more his thing... But I think he'll let me keep up with the karate so long as I defer to his leadership. ;-)
From looing at the picture The CCC in the 3rd photo looks like it is sideways. Tilt head to the left. :-| In a wreck kind of way looks like a it should be a Cocoa cup with candycanes and LOTS and I meant LOTS of marshmellows. So many that it is overflowing. or a poorly made stocking.....
Just FYI, St. Nicholas is the patron saint of prostitutes....
The Kugel Nicolo kind of look like Daleks dressed as Santa
tro lling this site again in need of a bit of late nite hysteria! I think the little Santa stepfords scare me the most--- how can Santas give out gifts when someone has deliberately given them knobs instead of arms ,hands or fingers- or a combo of any of these appendages ????????????????????????????
Actually, any Doctor Who fan can tell you those "Santas" are aliens who go about at Christmas and shoot you with their tubas.